


Ab Aeterno

by Self_Aware_Protagonist



Series: Ab Initio [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: A corrupt version of Ventus, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Ancient Rome, Alternate Universe - Gladiators, Alternate Universe - Historical, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-07-18 07:59:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 30
Words: 47,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7306528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Self_Aware_Protagonist/pseuds/Self_Aware_Protagonist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before he was stripped of his identity, branded like cattle, and thrown into a ring to kill for entertainment, Axel was a soldier in the army of the region of Gaul. When Rome's vast army invaded, Axel was enslaved as a gladiator to compete in Rome's bloody circuses.</p><p>His only salvation from endless bloodshed rests in the hands of young Master Roxas of the Thirteenth Grove, in chains of irony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aut Vincere Aut Mori

The blinding light of Sol broke through the door as it lifted, and the cheers of many filled Axel's ears with a deafening roar.

He squinted, the light shining through his helmet.

Across the arena, his opponent swaggered, his silver hair gleaming.

To the audience, the ocean-eyed teen was no more than a slab of meat tossed into the arena for Axel to cut into. To Axel, the boy's existence could mean either victory or death for himself.

"Gentlemen of Rome, today we present to you the _Gallus_ Axel versus the _Retiarii_ Riku!" The announcer bellowed, his voice drowned by the cheering. "Begin!"

The crowd, unknowingly, was divided into two intermingled sections: the section that observed for the embedded symbolic aspect of the fight, and the section that thirsted for the warriors' blood to be spilt across the dirt.

To those who spectate for the symbolic aspect, the battle between these two gladiators would look like Vulcan and Neptune at war. The silver-haired boy's distinctive net and trident of the _Retiarii_ class gladiator dressed him as their visions of the sea god. Though Axel's flame-colored hair was mostly squashed under his helmet, he was meant to represent the fire god. In this battle, Riku was meant to prevail, but Axel would have to make an exception if the audience became too eager for blood.

Axel had a much different body than what sculptors and artists would have depicted Vulcan with, however. Where Vulcan was a god with bulging muscles, Axel was purely human with starved-looking muscles.

His opponent, Riku, appeared much more youthful and supple. He must have been able to keep meat on his muscles, unlike the way Axel appeared to be. He wondered if Riku was stolen from his home as well.

Every battle was a two-way trap for Axel: if Axel failed to fight, he would be executed as a rebellious slave; if Axel did fight but managed to lose, he could die at the hands of his opponents and in the eyes of thousands if they so desired.

Despite the crowd's thirst to see bloodshed, Axel wasn't certain he would be permitted to actually kill Riku. Gladiators were expensive and difficult to come by, though that didn't stop the crowd from chanting for their demise.

By this point in his life, Axel had become one of the favorites of many spectators, which also brought much income to his training school. His death would mean a shattering blow to his master's wealth.

The metal clanging of Axel's sword against Riku's trident was drowned by the roaring of the crowd. Axel's advantage over Riku was the heavy armor going over his arm, and his shield. But this also proved disadvantage, for Riku was much more agile.

Riku was a silver blur as he slipped in front and behind Axel, dazing him. He draped the net over Axel's back, the weights dragging Axel to the ground.

Axel slashed his sword out to the side, cutting into Riku's thigh. Riku stumbled and fell only a meter and a half away from Axel, clutching his bleeding thigh.

Axel shook the weighted net off his back, towering over the boy.

Riku still had his trident, and jabbed at Axel with it. Axel deflected it off his shield and thrusted his sword at him. Riku dodged the blade the best he could, but it grazed his shoulder as he tried to scoot away. Axel thrusted his sword at him again, but Riku pushed it away with his trident.

Axel saw the boy reach for the knife he had equipped behind him, and as Riku drew it he knocked it away with his shield.

Now Riku only had his trident. The audience cheered, though the ones who had expected Riku to win appeared slightly disappointed.

Axel slashed at the trident, which Riku used to block the blows, but one slice cut through Riku's fingers and he let go. Axel pushed the trident from Riku's grasp.

The crowd roared louder, some pointing their thumbs down to demand Riku's death.

Axel removed his helmet and turned to Luxord, a blond man with a short beard and crisp white robes whose job was to oversee and assess the battle to decide if killing one of the gladiators was favorable.

Luxord's eyes scanned the crowd, whose chanting for Riku's death was growing louder.

Luxord nodded to Axel, his eyes sinister and filled with greed just as the crowd's.

"Please, make an exception for me..." Riku begged.

"I'm sorry, but I have no choice." Axel replied, shaking his head.

Riku was forced up on his knees in front of Axel. Axel held his sword above Riku's head.

The audience chanted for death, and Axel plunged his sword into Riku's head. Warm blood spilt onto Axel's sandals, mixing between his toes. The limp body collapsed into the dirt.

Before Axel removed the sword, he whispered a prayer to send Riku's spirit back to his father.

He dropped the sword, and it clattered against the ground.

A trumpet blared and Riku's body was dragged into the darkness underneath the arena, where the bodies would be. Riku would not be so lucky to have a funeral, he would most likely be turned into animal feed or be left to rot in the sun. Only elite gladiators would be given funerals, and Riku and Axel were mere slaves. Axel could only dream of being sent to the Underworld so luxuriously.

Axel felt a meaty hand grab him by his armor straps and drag him into the darkness as well, though opposite to Riku.

Though Axel was not permitted to speak to his master, he did anyway. "Was it necessary to kill him?"

"The crowd demanded it so. Besides, I was told that one was a troublemaker in his school, and often defied rules anyway. He wasn't too popular with the audience, either, so his life wasn't too important. Yours, though I hate to drill the idea that you have any significance into your head, is important. I won't get paid nearly as much as I do now with you alive." His master, a beefy man with copper hair named Lexaeus, replied gruffly. "But if you continue to speak out of turn like that I won't hesitate to punish you myself."

Axel kept his lips shut as Lexaeus bound his hands in front of him and led him back into the light and toward a horse-drawn cart used to escort goods. But this cart was meant to carry enslaved gladiators back to the gladiator school.

"Tomorrow marks the beginning of the _Equirria_ , so you'd best be ready to compete in the chariot race. And make it flashy, you know how much the audience loves a good, bloody chariot race." Lexaeus grinned, lashing the reins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> \- Aut vincere aut mori - victory or death
> 
> \- Gallus - A type of gladiator originating from the region of Gaul
> 
> \- Retiarii - A type of gladiator that is distinguishable by fighting with a net
> 
> \- Equirria - A festival around March celebrating horses


	2. Damnati Ad Gladium

Axel hung his head as he sat in the back of a cart. The cart jittered along the bumpy road on its way back to the gladiator school where Axel lived.

His eyelids drooped and he found Somnos dragging him into a cage of sleep.

 

In his dreams, Axel stood at the edge of a wide river, the landscape blanketed in fog.

He squinted, trying to catch a glimpse of anything on the other side.

The fog dispersed and standing on the other side of the river were two boys: one with hair like flames, and the other with hair like the sky. They looked about fourteen or fifteen years of age, and Axel's stomach turned as he recognized the two boys.

The flame-haired boy was of course himself, but the version of himself before he was stripped of his name and branded with a black mark under each of his eyes. And this boy's name was not Axel, it was Lea.

The other boy was Axel's only companion back home, a copper-eyed boy named Isa.

The two boys waved at Axel from across the river, and Axel raised his hand in response.

The two boys seemed to confer with each other for a moment, before Isa jumped into the river and glided through the water to reach Axel.

Isa was halfway across until suddenly he jerked back, like something under the surface had grabbed him. He turned around, looking for whatever grabbed his leg.

He bobs under the surface, splashing around with terror in his eyes. Isa screams for Lea, and Lea jumps into the water. Axel takes a step closer but there seems to be a barrier keeping him from the water's edge.

"Isa!" Axel shouted, but his voice was drowned out as Isa slipped under the water's surface, never to be seen again.

Lea broke through the surface, but when Axel met eyes with him, the boy had grown and lost muscle. His hair, which had once been in windblown spikes, cascaded down to his shoulders as Axel's hair was now. Lea's face was still youthful and his cheeks supple, but suddenly two black birds from the sky dove down to attack him.

Axel reached out to himself, but the barrier still did not permit him to step into the river.

The birds flapped their wings, and Lea met eyes with his future self.

Under each eye was a black stripe-like mark, ringed with red where the skin was irritated from the tattooing.

The Axel in the river stepped onto the riverbank to meet with the Axel there. He held out his arm, touching Axel's shoulder, and suddenly disappeared with the wind.

 

Axel was jarred awake from his sleep, and Lexaeus's thick hand grabbed him by his armor straps again.

"Come on, I don't have time for your fooling around." He muttered, dragging Axel up the steps to the school.

The gladiator school was a square-shaped complex with each side of the square a building with a different function: the south building was where the dining hall, kitchens, and bathrooms were placed; the north building was the armory, weaponry, and indoor classroom to educate the gladiators mentally; and the east and west buildings were living quarters, each containing about fifty cells for two gladiators to live in. The east living quarters also had a section for servants and the rare female gladiators, though Axel only knew of two personally.

The empty center served as a miniature arena for the gladiators to train in, but during resting times such as festivals, parties were held there.

Waiting at the door for them was one of the servants, who led Axel outside where a group of fifty gladiators were training. Of these fifty included gladiators from both sides of the living quarters.

"Did Master Lexaeus tell you about the chariot race?" A tall man with hair the color of salmon asked Axel as he approached with a spear over his shoulder.

"Yes, according to him you're my partner, Marluxia." Axel replied dryly.

"Don't give me that tone," Marluxia chided, "I'm a skilled horseman."

Though Axel could not see for himself, word had gotten around about Marluxia's skills as a horseman. After all, he was one of the famed _Sagittarius_ of Rome. His skills with horses and with the bow were unmatched.

"We'll be guaranteed victory." Marluxia promised.

"So you think, Marluxia," a voice called out as its owner approached.

Two girls swaggered toward Marluxia and Axel, one with short blond hair and two strands trailing from her head like the antennae of an insect, and one with choppy blue hair.

"What makes you think you'll win the race?" The blond one, called Larxene, grinned slyly.

"You know I'm the most skilled _Sagittarius_ in Rome," Marluxia crossed his arms, though Axel was surprised to hear him openly bragging about his skills. Marluxia's usual temperament was as still as a tranquil pool. Perhaps Larxene was a different case, as her unruliness often sparked vile feelings in any man.

Though he wasn't sure how true the tale was, Axel had heard Larxene used to be a prostitute in the _subura_ of Rome. Often he believed it, since Larxene was known to sneak out to the living quarters of the other gladiators. She was never caught for it because she supposedly seduced the headmasters of the school.

The other _Amazones_ , named Aqua for the blueness of her hair, was Larxene's polar opposite as a silently prideful woman and a true master without having to boast of her skills.

"Hm, we shall see, won't we?" Larxene challenged. "I wouldn't be surprised if I moved up in the ranks. Besides, I am a favorite among the audience as it is mostly male..."

"You could train for years and years endlessly, but you'll never match my skills. And on top of that, you'll always be a whore." Marluxia snapped.

"Come, Larxene, we must finish assembling our chariot." Aqua interrupted to settle the argument.

Axel admired Aqua's level temperament, much like Marluxia's, but Aqua's attitude was smooth and clear as glass compared to Marluxia's occasional spouts of lost control.

"Hmph," Larxene hummed as they turned away.

Marluxia sighed loudly and cracked his knuckles.

"I doubt that Larxene will play fairly in this race," Axel mentioned, "even if Aqua refuses it to be."

"Worry not, Axel, we have a few tricks up our sleeves as well." Marluxia assured, drawing his bow and firing an arrow at a target in the distance. Marluxia had never broke eye contact with Axel, even as the arrow plunged into the target.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations 
> 
> \- Damnati ad gladium - Condemned to the sword, an expression used to describe gladiators' lives
> 
> \- Sagittarius - Not to be confused with the zodiac sign, a type of gladiator distinguishable by being mounted on a horse
> 
> \- Subura - Middle-class kind of neighborhood in Rome, but there are a lot of prostitutes
> 
> \- Amazones - Female gladiators


	3. Amat Victoria Curam

Axel stared at the delicate reed between his fingers, deciding he was satisfied with having made ten of these special tricks. He dropped it carefully into a leather pouch with the others, and tied the pouch at his side. He knelt to the creek to wash the materials from his hands before rejoining Marluxia at the training square in the school.

"Have you prepared your distraction?" Axel asked.

Marluxia patted a leather satchel twice the size of Axel's at his side. "But I would rather not resort to this method and stick to using my skill."

"Of course," Axel nodded, though he wanted to play as dirty as the other teams would.

Sol's chariot rested at the peak of the sky at the time of the chariot race.

At one of Marluxia's sides was a quiver of arrows, and at the other was his leather satchel.

Axel kept his small pouch concealed from view, in case of having it confiscated. As it turned out, Marluxia's satchel was not confiscated, but the contents of the pouch were far too precious to lose.

 

The requirements of the race were loose, therefore any tricks to guarantee victory could be pulled as long as there was no visible damage done to any chariots or horses to prevent a victory.

"Ready to lose to us?" Larxene called out to Marluxia.

"You're mistaken," Marluxia stated simply, gripping the reins of the horse. 

There would be five chariots participating, each carrying a pair of gladiators. Most of them Axel didn't know personally, besides Larxene and Aqua, but perhaps that would make winning seem less like a celebratory occasion.

The chariots lined up at one end of the arena, the horses whinnying anxiously to wait for the whip to sting their skin.

Larxene rolled her chariot by the side of Axel and Marluxia's, grinning the way a snake does before striking.

"Let the chariot race begin!" Luxord announced, spreading his arms above the arena like a god spreading a malicious plague. The plague in this case would be the crowd's greed for violence.

"On your marks...get set...GO!"

Marluxia lashed the reins, and the pair of sleek black horses galloped forward.

Axel gripped the chariot, the bumpiness of the chariot speeding across the dirt making it difficult to retrieve one of his reeds.

"Is anyone gaining on us?" Marluxia shouted.

"Larxene and Aqua are arriving quickly! What should I do?" Axel replied.

"Take the reins!" Marluxia shoved them at Axel before letting go and gripping onto the side of the chariot as they made the first turn.

Marluxia stuffed his hand into the satchel, grabbing a handful of the contents.

Larxene and Aqua's chariot gained speed, almost so close that Marluxia could've reached out and touched their horses. Marluxia tore his hand from the satchel and let the contents flutter toward them on the wind: a flurry of white petals.

The petals clung to the girls' hair and faces, temporarily obscuring their vision. The chariot slowed slightly. Above the clamor, Larxene growled in annoyance. She reached for her side, producing a whip longer than the one used on the horses. She cracked the whip, and Marluxia stumbled back. His arms stung with tiny red webs creeping across them.

"What's wrong?" Axel demanded.

"Her whip is like lightning..." Marluxia seethed, "but they're further from us now..."

As they approached the first lap, Axel ducked his body down to feel the wind whipping though him. A blast of cold wetness bloomed on his shoulder, and he glanced in the direction it had come from.

Another chariot had gained enough speed to catch up with them, carrying two gladiators by the names of Zexion and Demyx. Demyx was often known to fill thinned animal skins with water that burst apart when they came in contact with something going at a perfect speed.

Axel delicately opened the pouch, pulling out one of the reeds. He brought the reed to his lips, blowing into it. From the reed bloomed tendrils of red flames. Demyx' eyes widened in surprise, and he pushed Zexion's shoulder to urge him to drive away from the flames. In return, Zexion yanked the reins toward himself, slowing the horses. Axel's chariot pulled ahead and completed the first of five laps.

The horses were growing restless at Axel's touch, and he soon passed the reins to Marluxia. Their hooves thudded against the dirt like Jupiter's thunderclaps.

Larxene and Aqua's chariot gained speed again, pulling up beside Axel and Marluxia's.

Marluxia crammed his hand into the satchel again, sprinkling the girls with another flurry of petals. Larxene lashed her whip at them, as if to stun them out of the air. One of the whip's tendrils slapped against Marluxia's hand, and he retracted it from the reins for a moment.

The chariot grew rickety and skittered back and forth.

"Marluxia!" Axel hollered, and Marluxia returned to his senses and gripped the reins.

Larxene lashed her whip again, striking Axel's chest. The pain flooded throughout his body, stinging him.

Axel dipped his fingers into the pouch again, pulling out another reed. He crouched behind the wall of the chariot before popping up and spraying flames at the opposing chariot.

Aqua lashed the reins, hoping to slip just out of the fire's grasp, but one of the flames licked the floor of the chariot. Larxene stamped it out furiously as Axel and Marluxia sped up again.

The chariot careened toward finishing another lap, with only three more to follow.

A chariot containing unrecognized gladiators to Axel picked up speed, and Marluxia hissed a strategy into Axel's ear.

Axel brought another reed up to his lips while Marluxia wrapped the reins around his wrist. He drew his bow, releasing the arrow just as Axel blew flames into the air. The arrow sliced through the flames, managing to catch fire and lodge itself into the front of the enemy chariot. The fire licked the arrow up first, but remained on the front of the chariot. The terrified gladiators slapped at the fire to extinguish it, but to no avail.

Another lap was successfully collected as Axel and Marluxia prepared to burst across the finish line to victory.

Marluxia's satchel of flower petals grew increasingly scarce in supply, and he used the last on a rather unimportant set of enemies.

The finish line seemed to reach out to them with invisible hands, yanking them closer and closer.

Out from nowhere, Larxene and Aqua pulled ahead. Larxene stuck her tongue out at the young men as they raced ahead.

Without thinking, Axel retrieved one of the reeds and brought it to his lips.

"Axel no!" Marluxia protested, but Axel blew forth the flames that were pushed back to them as the wind carried them. Marluxia gripped Axel's armor straps and dragged him down behind the chariot wall. The flames managed to singe the tips of their hair.

Another one of Demyx's water pouches burst against Axel's hip, drenching his pouch of reeds. Now it would be difficult for Axel to produce fire, a cunning plan even if Demyx hadn't been able to see the pouch of reeds.

Demyx whipped another water pouch, watching it burst between Larxene's eyes. Larxene squeezed her eyes shut, reeling back and knocking into Aqua. Aqua lost control of the reins and their chariot skittered.

Axel fumbled with the reeds, frantic to find one that was still dry before Demyx and Zexion crossed the finish line. At last he found one and pressed it to his lips. Fire blossomed out of the reed, but the flames came swooping back to Axel and Marluxia's chariot. Some of them attached themselves to the front. Marluxia hissed a curse and gripped the reins. The horses' eyes widened in panic, and were thrown out of control at the sight of the flames.

The flames licked away at the wood, increasing with each meter closer to the finish line they came.

With a loud cracking noise, a wheel snapped off and rolled away. The chariot crashed to the ground, being dragged a few meters with an awful scraping sound.

Marluxia's knuckles were white on the reins, but the horses were restless as the flames consumed the tethers. Soon the tethers ripped apart and the chariot skidded into the dirt, the horses thudding away. Axel and Marluxia were flung from the chariot, their bodies scraping against the dirt. The other chariots swerved to avoid them.

Axel and Marluxia watched as Demyx and Zexion's chariot crossed the finish line.

 

"It's _your_ fault we lost to those two amateur gladiators!" Larxene screamed, storming up to Axel and grabbing him by his armor straps.

"What in Pluto's name do you mean?" Axel gripped Larxene's wrist and pushed her hand aside.

"We were so close, but you had to use your fancy flower and fire tricks!" Larxene accused. She struck Axel across the face, the red mark she created stinging.

Axel wasn't one to pick a fight, as many gladiators did in the school. The masters often encouraged it to test hand-to-hand combat in a non-supervised setting where the combatants wouldn't hold back, but still Axel refrained.

But as Axel's cheek stung, his anger grew. In a furious blur, he gripped Larxene's arm and bent it behind her back, pressing her to the wall. Larxene screeched in protest.

"Axel!" Lexaeus's voice barked from behind him.

The two craned their heads in Lexaeus's direction. His beefy arms were crossed in annoyance.

"I had my bets on you Axel, and yet you let the victory slip from you." Lexaeus growled, pinching Axel's ear.

"F-forgive me," Axel stammered out, but Lexaeus squeezed Axel's arm and threw him opposite of Larxene.

"Excuse me Lexaeus, but I was speaking to an interesting gentleman by the name of Ansem during the race. He's one of the finest scholars in the city, hired by many noblemen to teach their sons philosophy among other subjects." Luxord interrupted delicately.

"Yeah? What's your point?" Lexaeus grumbled.

"He says he was planning on purchasing a couple new slaves to replace two in his home after the races, though I suggested we sell him two of our best slaves." Luxord replied, his eyes drifting over to Axel and Larxene.

"He must be delirious if he thinks I'll hand over my most popular slaves, even if they are a pain in the ass most of the time." Lexaeus objected.

"But sir, he offered quite a large sum of money for them, especially..." Luxord's eyes flicked to Axel again, and Lexaeus's eyes drifted over to him as well.

"Him? What for?" Lexaeus hissed.

Luxord shrugged his broad shoulders, and Lexaeus glanced at Axel again.

"How much exactly did this Ansem offer?" Lexaeus wondered.

"Speak to him yourself, he's still here; I told him I'd have the head slave keeper speak to him personally and introduce his best." Luxord offered.

Lexaeus cursed and shook his head. Before leaving the three of them, he took one last look at Axel as if to assess how much gold he was actually worth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> \- Amat victoria curam - Fortune favors the careful
> 
> Notes on Axel's fire reeds: This was based off the Ancient Greek weapon called "Greek fire", I couldn't find much on how it was made, though.


	4. Caveat Emptor

"What would anyone want with _you_?" Larxene sneered, crossing her arms.

"Apparently I'm desirable to _someone_ ," Axel replied pointedly.

Larxene stuck her tongue out childishly.

Lexaeus returned with another man in tow. The man had long hair the color of straw and a short beard to match. He wore a crisp white toga with a piece of crimson fabric draped around his neck.

"This is Ansem the Wise," Lexaeus introduced, "Ansem, these are two of our finest slave gladiators: Axel and Larxene."

Finest? Axel wasn't too sure the title fit, but Ansem must have offered a larger sum of money than he thought.

"Might I be able to have an examination of that one?" Ansem pointed at Axel.

"Of course, sir." Lexaeus grinned. He stomped up to Axel, hissing in his ear for him to remove his clothing.

Axel removed the armor straps crossed against his body and slipped off his armored kilt. He untied the loincloth hung around his hips and let it fall away.

Larxene's eyes drifted across Axel's body, and though Axel had been in situations as these before, he suddenly felt more vulnerable with a countable number of eyes on him.

"His build doesn't make it seem like he would be useful for jobs involving heavy labor...how strong is he?" Ansem inquired.

"Axel's strength is quite impressive for his appearance."

"I've never seen eyes quite like his..." Ansem gripped Axel's face in one hand, forcing him to look him in the eyes.

"Open your mouth, Axel." Lexaeus demanded.

Axel did so, which Ansem replied with, "His teeth are intact...you certainly keep your slaves well."

"We must keep them in their best condition to entertain, sir," Lexaeus agreed.

Ansem let go of Axel's jaw, and Axel snapped his mouth shut.

"Those tattoos, what is the purpose of them?" Ansem wondered.

"Branding, sir, so he is easily recognizable should he try to escape." Lexaeus replied, squinting at Axel.

Despite having been captured as a prisoner of war at age fourteen, Axel had never tried to escape. He wasn't sure what had kept him from trying to return home, nor was he sure he would find out soon. Perhaps it was the overwhelming realization that Isa had been captured and killed, and even if Axel returned to Gaul he wouldn't have a reason to stay.

"He will make a fine personal slave to my son. You see the two slaves before contracted some disease from each other, and so we had to replace them somehow." Ansem explained.

"Yes, well Axel _is_ one of our healthiest gladiators, and one of the most popular. What did you say you were willing to pay for him?" Lexaeus asked.

"I would offer about one hundred gold _solidi_ for him." Ansem suggested.

Lexaeus sputtered as if he were choking on the air. "One hundred _solidi_?" He repeated.

"Yes, did that seem too little? I'm willing to raise the price to two hundred, though I haven't seen the second slave yet." Ansem reminded him.

"Oh yes, Larxene, remove your clothes." Lexaeus waved his hand at her.

Grudgingly, Larxene removed her armor and her tunic. She unfastened the _mamillare_ around her chest and her loincloth and stood rigid in front of the three men.

"Not so confident now, are you Larxene?" Axel jested.

"A witty one, I see," Ansem noted. Axel immediately felt guilty for speaking out of turn, but he rarely relished in Larxene's discomfort. Larxene bared her teeth at Axel, but Lexaeus gave her a disapproving glare.

Ansem performed the same analysis on Larxene as he did with Axel, and pursed his lips.

"Is this really the second best slave?" Ansem questioned.

Larxene seemed insulted, but she pushed back her emotions and remained as stoic and obedient as Axel.

"I apologize if she is not to your liking, but she is the best we have." Lexaeus replied.

Axel knew this was a lie, since Marluxia and Aqua were far better than he and Larxene. But he also knew Lexaeus wouldn't give two of the elite gladiators away for any sum of money. Axel and Larxene must not have been as important as they thought they were.

"Very well...I suppose they'll have to do." Ansem decided.

Axel sensed the greed in Lexaeus's eyes. "Now, about the price..." Lexaeus purred.

"I believe one hundred _solidi_ for both should be acceptable, should it not?" Now that he had examined Larxene, Ansem seemed less willing to raise the price to two hundred gold _solidi_.

"A fair price," Lexaeus agreed.

"Very well, come by my villa before sundown and we can discuss the transaction over dinner." Ansem nodded.

"Fine, fine. I shall see you at sundown." Lexaeus bid the scholar farewell for the time being and turned to the slaves again, demanding they get dressed.

"Enjoy your last night at the school, for tomorrow at noon you'll become domestic dogs." Lexaeus chuckled.

 

Though Axel had a feeling the meal he ate during the feast to end the _Equirria_ festival would be the last filling meal he would have for the rest of his life, he picked at it and eventually left his plate full of unfinished food.

Demyx and Zexion relished in their new fame, drinking and singing merrily. Demyx sang louder than Zexion, as Zexion always appeared quiet and analytical.

"You're not that upset about the race, are you?" Marluxia questioned, observing Axel's solemn face.

"No, it's not the race," Axel replied, not meeting eyes with Marluxia.

"Something else troubling you?" Marluxia sat down next to Axel at the table.

Axel squinted, wondering if Marluxia was drunk. "No, nothing," Axel decided, though Marluxia would soon find out why his cellmate didn't return from training one evening.

"They're letting us out tonight, why don't we go down to the _subura_ where the prostitutes are and enjoy ourselves?" Marluxia suggested.

Now Axel was sure Marluxia was drunk; Marluxia never suggested such impractical things as talking about emotions or spending the evening with a prostitute, even if they were normal human actions.

"Not tonight." Axel replied. "I don't gain much pleasure in indulging myself."

Axel turned his head toward the celebration, which he remained on the edge of. From the midst of the fray, a very intoxicated Larxene stomped up to Axel and slapped him across the face again.

"It's _your_ fault again!" She insisted vaguely.

"Larxene, just shut your mouth. Honestly, all of this is probably more of your fault than mine." Axel sighed.

"I actually _liked_ living here, knowing I could destroy almost any man I wanted to! Of course all of that got taken away because of you!" She continued.

"Larxene, hush," Axel hissed.

"Don't tell me to hush! At least _I_ was useful before I was brought here, pleasuring men in ways you couldn't possibly imagine! But you...you were a sorry excuse for a soldier, not even being able to save your poor friend. What was his name again...?" Larxene rambled, but suddenly her words caught in Axel the way a fish gets caught in a net.

"You hold your tongue," Axel demanded, rising to his feet.

Larxene raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I've struck something, haven't I?"

"Isa...his name was Isa," he growled.

"Oh yes, Isa...it's a poor shame you couldn't save Isa..." Larxene's voice was laden thick with poison.

"Don't you _ever_ speak about Isa again!" Axel threatened. "Don't even say his name!"

Larxene pursed her lips, the entire courtyard on edge of what she could let slip.

She let slip a single word: Isa.

Like a taut string being released, Axel snapped. He grabbed Larxene's shoulders, pushing her into a pillar lining the courtyard. Larxene crumpled to the ground, but she glared at him. When she regained her strength, she lunged. Axel's balance was thrown off and he fell to the ground with her on top of him.

She pinned him, but Axel struggled as he flipped them over.

"AXEL! LARXENE!" A voice roared from the edge of the courtyard: Lexaeus had returned from Ansem's villa, a large sack bulging with gold hanging at his side. "Don't bruise each other up too badly, I've just sealed the deal and promised Master Ansem two of our best slaves."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> \- Caveat emptor - Let the buyer beware  
> \- Mamillare - A covering for breasts  
> \- Solidi - Gold coins


	5. Omnia Memoriter

Axel's muscles ached as he peeled himself off his cot, blinking the sleep from his eyes.

He groaned, swinging his legs over the side of the cot. Lexaeus had said they'd be escorted to Ansem's villa at noon.

He looked around at the tiny cell one last time. Marluxia slept soundly, the drunkenness worn off.

He wondered what sorts of tasks he would have to perform as a slave. He recalled Luxord saying something about how one of Ansem's sons had taken a liking to Axel, though what his meant for him Axel did not know.

The doors to the cells would not be unlocked until sunrise, and since there were no windows in the room Axel couldn't tell what time it was. He tried the door handle, but it wouldn't open, confirming that Axel had woken before sunrise. This was unusual, since he often woke to the sound of the heavy door unlocking.

Axel slumped back down on his cot, his stomach turning. Though being a gladiator had been slavery for him, this was a new kind of slavery. As an orphan to soldier, Axel had never lived in a domestic household before. What would it feel like performing tasks for a small group of people rather than a stadium full?

The door clicked and unlocked, swinging open to reveal Lexaeus's face. "Get up," he grumbled, Marluxia groaning as he shook himself awake.

Lexaeus met eyes with Axel and said, "Change of plans, Ansem needs you and Larxene before Sol is fully in the sky."

"Who is Ansem, and why does he need Axel and Larxene? Why would anyone need them, specifically together?" Marluxia questioned.

"A scholar named Ansem the Wise purchased Axel and Larxene as slaves." Lexaeus replied, grabbing Axel's arm.

"How much did he pay for them? Gladiators aren't cheap..." Marluxia seemed more awake now.

"None of your business, just make sure the cot is suitable for whomever gets placed there," Lexaeus said gruffly. He shook Axel's arm, grinning. "Say goodbye to this life, Axel." 

 

The cart bounced along the bumpy road, and Axel's head nodded along with it.

Larxene was silent, a sound Axel had never heard before.

The two stared at their own feet, unsure of what future lay beyond the trees of the grove.

A large villa soon came into view, and the two sat up straighter to see it more clearly.

"This is your new home," Lexaeus announced, "enjoy looking at it from the spectator's point of view while you can."

With their hands chained behind their backs, Lexaeus delivered them to the front door. A slave stood by the door, his eyes widening when they came across Axel and Larxene.

"Master Ansem will want those slaves taken to the slave quarters around the side of the house." He directed.

Lexaeus prodded them toward the slave quarters as he led them there.

Another slave took Axel and Larxene once their handcuffs were removed, and Lexaeus disappeared into the distance on the cart. The two were splashed with water for a bath and given bronze collars around their necks, the way a dog wears a collar. A bronze tag attached to the collars read something along the lines of "If found, return to Master Ansem of the Thirteenth Grove and you shall receive a gold _solidus_ ", though they could barely read it.

Once they had been cleaned and tagged, they were left alone in the atrium of the house.

"Look at this, a collar," Larxene tugged at hers.

The collar chafed around Axel's neck, but he knew he couldn't take it off.

The sound of footsteps echoed around the atrium, and the two turned to find the source: a boy, maybe about seventeen years of age, with spikes of golden hair and eyes like the sky.

The boy wore a casual wool tunic that fell to his knees, with a leather belt keeping it bunched at the waist.

His eyes drifted lazily over Larxene, but they locked onto Axel like a target. For once, Axel felt as exposed as he had the previous day when being examined by Ansem. He would've given anything to crawl into a dark space and hide, but he could not.

"Father, the new slaves are here." The boy called out.

Ansem appeared from another room, nodding and looking the two over. A third slave had appeared with him, ready to show Axel and Larxene to their new assignments.

"Larxene, go to the kitchen where you'll be assigned some common tasks. As for you, Axel, you will be the new personal slave for my son Roxas." Ansem gestured to the boy. "Don't be too discouraged if you confuse him with his twin brother, Ventus; the two are identical."

Larxene was taken to the kitchen by the other slave, and Ansem disappeared into the room from whence he came.

Axel and Roxas were the only two left in the atrium now.

The silence seemed to suffocate them, but as a slave Axel had been taught not to speak out of turn.

"Are...you going to say something?" Roxas offered after a while.

Axel furrowed his brows, surprised he had been given the opportunity to speak without really being commanded to.

"What do I say to my master?" Axel wondered.

"I don't know," Roxas admitted, looking off to the side.

"I...I heard you took a liking to me when you saw me at the chariot races...?" Axel mentioned.

Roxas's eyes snapped back to Axel, gleaming with some emotion Axel couldn't decipher.

"You were the most skilled...what was that fire you produced?"

"I-it was a trick I learned in battle against the Greeks," Axel replied.

"In battle? Do you mean when you fought against other gladiators?" Roxas clarified.

"No, before I was a gladiator I was a soldier in my home country's army." Axel answered.

"Roxas, are you talking to someone?" A voice from another room called out.

"O-of course not!" Roxas shouted back. He hissed at Axel, "Don't speak out of turn when someone is near."

From another room, two young men entered the atrium. One of them was identical in appearance to Roxas, excepting the differently-colored tunic he wore. The other was another slave around Axel's age, but had a much stockier build. His hair was the color of rich soil, and his name (as Axel would learn) matched the color of his hair: Terra.

"So _this_ is your new personal slave?" The boy identical to Roxas, whom Axel figured was Roxas's twin Ventus, sneered.

"He was one of the gladiators from the chariot races we saw yesterday," Roxas said.

"I see..." Ventus circled Axel the way a vulture circles its prey. "Why would Father purchase a gladiator to be a house slave?"

"I insisted upon it," Roxas's voice made the occurrence seem like something to be ashamed of.

"Of course he did," Ventus didn't seem amused, "because Father will do anything to please you."

"Why does it matter to you? Your slave didn't die." Roxas gestured to Ventus's slave.

"Oh that doesn't matter to me," Ventus waved his hand, "it's the fact that Father would go out of his way to attain something for you. But I suppose that's common for the heir of the family, is it not?"

Roxas pursed his lips, biting back his anger.

"What are you two arguing about again?" Another voice grumbled, as a girl maybe fifteen years of age entered the atrium.

The girl was thin and fair, her blond locks draped over her right shoulder. Her tunic was crisp white and went down to her calves.

"Male speak, Naminé, no need for you to worry." Ventus replied.

"It wasn't important," Roxas added.

The girl, Naminé, knit her brows. Her eyes glanced over Axel, but she didn't seem interested in him as if he were a column in the atrium.

"You're being quite loud," Naminé chided.

"We apologize," Roxas offered.

"What does it matter to you? You have no reason to demand quiet of us." Ventus sneered.

"Ventus," Roxas warned.

"What? A woman needs no reason to scold men," Ventus affirmed, "those Vestal Virgins must be instilling the wrong ideas into your head. A woman needs no ideas, she stays at home."

"Ventus, that's enough," Roxas's voice hardened.

The twins met eyes for a while, as if communicating without speaking aloud.

Ventus made a "Hmph" sound and exited the atrium with Terra following.

"Is this a new slave?" Naminé asked, nodding her head at Axel.

"He's mine," Roxas confirmed.

"What are those markings?" Naminé touched her cheek where the mark would be if it were branded on herself.

"Branding, like how cattle get branded on a farm," Roxas explained.

Naminé nodded, and turned back to her room.

Axel and Roxas were left in the atrium now.

"What do you think of my brother and sister?" Roxas asked.

"I suppose they're fine people," Axel proposed.

Roxas nodded, though somewhat halfheartedly. "Come along, I'll show you your duties."

As Axel followed him, Ansem's words echoed in his head: "Don't be too discouraged if you confuse him with his twin brother, Ventus; the two are identical".

But as Axel observed, the two weren't identical at all, and he could easily tell the one with the sour attitude was Ventus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> \- Omnia memoriter - ...got it memorized
> 
> Vestal Virgins - Young unmarried girls who worshiped the maiden goddess Vesta


	6. Graviora Manent

"Is all of that clear?" Roxas asked, sitting on his large bed.

"Yes, Master,"Axel replied.

Roxas seemed to chafe against that word, but he verbally he did not express discomfort.

"It looks to be about time when my father's clients pay him respects," Roxas noted. He must have noticed Axel's intrigued expression, for he added, "after Naminé was born, our mother passed away."

"I'm terribly sorry to hear," Axel mumbled.

"Do not be," Roxas assured, "though I have memories of her, they're quite vague."

Axel shifted his feet on the marble floor.

"Would you like to go see some of his clients?" Roxas wondered, sliding off the bed.

Axel gave an indecisive shrug, though Roxas interpreted it more as an affirmation.

The two sneaked back to the atrium, not wanting to disturb this ritual between Ansem and his clients.

Though they had been hoping not to be spotted, one of the clients strode past them as he entered the atrium.

He turned to Roxas and nodded his head, "Good morning to you, young Master Roxas."

"A-and to you, Lord Xaldin." Roxas nodded in response, though his voice was a tad shaken from Lord Xaldin's sudden appearance.

Lord Xaldin appeared as a tall, bulky man, though Axel found Lexaeus was still bulkier. His long dark hair was knotted into thick dreadlocks, pulled back into a ponytail.

Lord Xaldin entered the atrium, bowing to Ansem and exchanging a greeting before standing in respectful silence.

"Lord Xaldin isn't one of my father's clients, but the father of my fiancée." Roxas whispered.

"Fiancée?" The word seemed foreign to Axel.

"Do you not understand what that is?"

Axel shook his head.

"It means I'm to be married to his daughter in about a year's time." Roxas explained. "You do understand marriage, right?"

Axel nodded slowly, having heard of marriage before but not fully understanding what it meant for Roxas.

"I am scheduled to meet with Lady Xion in a week, so you'll get to meet her as well. I've met with her a few times already, we've known each other for some time." Roxas's words were solemn, though Axel didn't understand why.

Lord Xaldin finished paying his respects and exited the atrium, nodding to Roxas once more as he left.

 

"Look at you, personal servant to Master Roxas," Larxene announced snidely.

"My tasks are really no different from yours," Axel replied, going out to the pump to fill a pitcher.

"So you claim," Larxene muttered.

"Don't you have something to do?" Axel asked pointedly, the water splashing out onto the tiles. "You'll get thrown out on the first day."

"Maybe I'd enjoy that," Larxene grumbled.

"Aren't you at least glad that we don't have to fight for our lives?"

"It gave me something to anticipate, hearing the crowd roar like that..." She admitted. "I enjoy pleasing people..."

Axel furrowed his brows, baffled by Larxene's sudden softness.

As quickly as she had softened, she hardened her face again and turned on her heel.

Axel dismissed his confusion and carried the pitcher back into the house toward Roxas's chamber.

From seemingly nowhere, Ventus appeared in the hallway and knocked into Axel. Axel's balance wavered, the water sloshing from the pitcher.

The boy said nothing and continued on his way. 

"I have your water for you," Axel set the pitcher down on the desk where Roxas sat studying a scroll.

Axel lingered for a moment, furrowing his brows at the strange markings that he did not understand.

"Sorry, thank you for the water," Roxas nodded, dismissing Axel. "But stay in the room in case I need something else."

Axel leaned against a pillar in Roxas's chamber, staring into nothingness.

"I'm getting a bit hungry," Roxas suddenly mentioned, and Axel perked up.

"Uh...shall I fetch something for you to eat?" Axel suggested.

"It's about time for _prandium_ ," Roxas noted, "but I'll be fine with just some bread and cheese."

"Yes, I'll go get you some," Axel nodded, running off to the kitchen.

Axel's sandals slapped against the tile floors as he dashed into the kitchen to find half a loaf of bread and a few slices of cheese.

"Weren't you just here?" Larxene sneered.

"Just give me the bread and cheese," Axel sighed.

"No," She decided.

"Do I have to fight you for everything?" He groaned.

"In honesty it would be more entertaining each day to see you challenge me just to perform your daily tasks," she mused.

"I'll get it myself," he decided, pushing past her to the kitchens. He directed his order to another servant, who handed him a wooden platter of cheese, bread, and a small portion of cold meat. He thanked her for the platter and rushed it back to Roxas.

"Thank you," Roxas tore into the bread and chewed it slowly.

Axel's stomach growled, and he realized he hadn't even gotten to eat a morning meal.

"Oh, you're hungry..." Roxas mumbled, tearing off a piece of the bread and throwing it to Axel.

For some reason, Axel stepped back from the bread that skittered across the floor to him as if it were a live animal. He glanced at Roxas with bewildered eyes, and Roxas stared back in confusion.

"Haven't you seen bread before?" He wondered at the astounded slave.

Axel, whose voice had momentarily escaped him, replied, "O-of course, I just didn't expect you to cater to _my_ need. After all, I'm _your_ servant."

"I can't have you dying on me like the last one," Roxas reminded him.

So it wasn't necessarily Roxas caring for him as a person, just caring for him enough that he would be able to perform his tasks without becoming ill, Axel thought. He knelt down and picked up the bread, chewing on it.

"Do you want any of this cheese and meat, too?" Roxas offered the platter toward him. He shook his head. Besides, Axel had ticked off Larxene just to retrieve that platter, so it was only fair Roxas should eat it.

It wasn't long before the platter was empty. Axel's appetite wasn't nearly satisfied, but it didn't matter to him.

"I'll take the platter back to the kitchens," Axel offered, to which Roxas thanked him again.

As Axel made his return to the kitchen, he was met with a shadow in the corner of hall.

He stopped in his tracks, though he hadn't meant to. Something in his gut told him to stop, however.

From the shadows came Ventus, who regarded Axel with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. It reminded Axel the way a snake regards its prey before striking it, but he could tell Ventus was a much stealthier snake.

"My brother is quite the master, is he not? You're lucky to have been assigned to him. Had you been given to any other master, you wouldn't have had the luxury of eating the bread that _we_ consume." Ventus said.

Axel knew he was not allowed to speak out of turn to Ventus. Even if he had permission, he didn't have the gall to force the snake to strike now.

"Do not grow accustomed to it. When my brother becomes master of the household, the bond you will have formed will surely change. Though I don't see why someone as weak as he should be the master, and the younger brother at that." Ventus's tone turned bitter and he seemed to become unfocused, until he noticed Axel still standing there. "There is a place for both of us in this world, and you'd best understand where you fit; if you find yourself in the wrong place, you'd best get out of it before the wrong person finds you there." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations   
> \- Graviora manent - There are worse things to come  
> \- Prandium - Lunch


	7. Auribus Teneo Lupum

"Pardon me for interrupting your studies, Master, but the thought I've been having has been bothering me the way a fly bothers someone..." Axel began reluctantly.

Roxas turned from his desk to face him. "What is it?"

"Your sister Naminé...I believe I've seen her face before," he tapped his lips as the wheel in his brain turned harder.

"She is one of the Vestal Virgins," Roxas replied, "she is one of the girls who tends the sacred flame of Vesta at the arena."

The wheel stopped turning, and Axel was satisfied with the answer. "Yes, of course."

"She doesn't enjoy tending that particular flame." Roxas said, "The gore is often too much for her."

Now Axel's stomach turned. Had Naminé seen him in the arena, delivering a swift end to some of the gladiators?

"She didn't seem to recognize me..." He mumbled.

"Though she can see the battle more clearly, she doesn't like looking at it." Roxas reminded him.

"Of course not. I'm sorry I disturbed your studies..." Axel gave a slight bow, which was almost involuntary at this point from having to do it so often.

"It's alright, I'm finished with this lesson anyway." Roxas rolled the scroll back up and slid it into a square cubbyhole in a shelf next to his desk. "And it's time to head to the baths. As my slave, you are to escort me."

Axel gave a nod, following Roxas out to the front of the house.

Waiting for them stood Ventus, Terra, and Ansem. Terra would serve as the second escort into the city.

The three noblemen stepped into a litter to be carried into the city. Four male slaves hoisted the litter onto their shoulders, with Axel and Terra trailing behind.

"Master Ventus tells me you were a gladiator before being sold to us," Terra offered to initiate friendly conversation.

"Yes, that is correct," Axel confirmed, "why do you ask?"

"No reason, though I admire your skill in the arena." Terra replied.

"Thank you," Axel mumbled a bit sheepishly. Compliments didn't come by too often, and when they did he wasn't always sure how to respond.

"Have you ever heard of an _Amazone_ by the name of Aqua?" Terra asked.

"Yes, she lived in the same gladiator school as I." Axel wondered how Terra knew of her.

"I see. When Master Ventus goes to the gladiator shows, he admires the one called Aqua. She is quite a spectacle, is she not? What was it like to live in a school with her?"

"I've known her for a while, she was always a very collected person. Her cellmate was none other than the second new slave, Larxene. Larxene is quite obviously her polar opposite." Terra chuckled at Axel's comment, though he hadn't tried to be amusing. He offered, "I could introduce you to Aqua..."

"We aren't permitted to leave the grounds ever," Terra said, "surely you must understand that."

Of course he did, he just hadn't thought about how he was still technically property. Perhaps he was already taking advantage of Roxas's lenience.

"Of course, what was I thinking...?" Axel chuckled.

"Besides, it isn't necessary," Terra whispered, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

 

The city was much less busy now that the time was close to when the vendors closed their booths and packed up their wares.

The four slaves carrying the litter lay it down on the ground in front of the bathhouse. A few men loitered around, waiting for a vacancy to open. There must've been some room left, for Ansem and his sons strode past them straight into the bathhouse.

As slaves, Terra and Axel would have to bathe very late in the day and only twice a month.

As they loitered around outside waiting for their masters to return, Axel pondered Terra's words about Aqua.

"What was life in the ring like?" Terra asked.

"You know," Axel began, "being a house slave is almost boring compared to being a gladiator. It wasn't necessarily something to enjoy, but it kept me on my feet. Here, I anticipate every task I'm given. It's only my first day, but I'm becoming restless."

"Things will get much more interesting, I'm sure," Terra assured.

"I don't doubt it..." Axel mumbled, remembering Ventus's remarks in the hallway earlier that day.

An hour later, the three men returned with their skin pink and shiny with oil.

The slaves, whom had been resting on the ground, shot to their feet to ready the litter. The noblemen stepped inside and were hoisted onto the slaves' shoulders to be carried home.

The slaves in the kitchens bustled around to prepare the evening meal _coena_ , while Axel helped Roxas into his dinner robes.

The entire family gathered in a large room with reclined chairs circled around a low table. Larxene and some other slaves placed platters of meat, bread, fruit, and cheese on the table. A pitcher containing wine was also placed on the table, but only the men were permitted to drink it.

Axel and Terra, as well as Naminé's and Ansem's personal servants attended the needs of each person, pouring more wine or calling for more bread.

Before too long, Ventus became terribly drunk. He stumbled over to Terra, whom held a basin for the boy to vomit in. Ventus ducked his head in the basin and retched.

Though Axel had seen people become drunk until they were sick, he did not expect noblemen to become so easily drunk. And though Roxas was allowed to drink the wine, his cheeks retained their color to show he had not drunk any.

When dinner was finished with, the kitchen slaves cleaned up the leftover food to be eaten for the morning meal. The personal slaves helped their masters and mistress to bed. Ventus leaned on Terra's arm, his footsteps sluggish on the way.

Axel removed Roxas's dinner robes and exchanged them for a set of sleeping robes. The boy's skin was smooth from the oil slathered in him at the baths, unlike Axel's rough and beaten skin.

Roxas slipped into bed, and Axel closed the door to go off to his place in the servant quarters.

The eerie silence of the house produced goosebumps on Axel's arms. Never before had he been roaming alone at such an hour.

 

That night he was restless, as much of the energy he normally would have lost during harsh training was bottled inside him.

It seemed the other slaves had been worked to the core, as they slept soundly.

At a very late hour, Axel heard rustling. He assumed it was just a rat scurrying around the quarters, but in the darkness he saw a shape moving around the room.

Perhaps one of the slaves was somnambulant, Axel thought, and disregarded it.

But still, Axel's restlessness urged him to investigate, so he laced up his sandals and followed the shape.

In the moonlight, the shape became visible: it was Terra. Axel had heard before not to wake a somnambulant person, so he sneaked a few footsteps ahead of Terra to look at his eyes. His blood turned cold when he realized they were open, and staring directly at him.

"Axel, what are you doing?" Terra hissed.

"I apologize, I just wondered if you were sleepwalking. I can't sleep," he explained.

"You're not permitted to leave the grounds." Terra reminded him.

"Then what are _you_ doing?" Axel countered.

Terra frowned, realizing his mistake. "I'm just going for a walk, I'm as restless as you. The other slaves know about my habit, so they don't tell the master as long as I don't tell when they sneak out occasionally. I'll let you follow me as long as you tell no one."

"Alright..." Axel agreed reluctantly, and the two slipped out of the house wearing cloaks to hide their collars.

"Where are we going...?" Axel finally asked after walking for several miles.

"I'm meeting someone," Terra replied.

"Who could be so important that you risk your life for them?" Axel wondered.

Terra didn't answer directly, instead he asked, "Axel, have you ever been in love with someone?"

Axel thought for a moment. Immediately, Isa flashed in his mind, but he wasn't sure if that meant he had been in love with Isa. Sure they had been best friends, but there had always been a slightly stronger feeling residing in Axel's heart for him.

"No," he decided, "I've never had the time to experience it."

"I didn't think so, either," Terra agreed, "which is why it was a miracle I had even met her."

So Terra was meeting a girl somewhere. Axel wondered who, but then he recalled the conversation they had had escorting their masters to the baths. It seemed ridiculous to even think that he was having an affair with Aqua, but anything was possible...

They arrived in the _subura_ , which was quite far from Ansem's house. At this hour, the brothels were busy with customers.

Terra led him into an alley behind a brothel, where a girl donned in a men's toga stood with her back to them. In the dim light, her hair appeared blue, but Axel found that she really was the girl he had suspected.

He could hardly keep himself from exclaiming her name.

Aqua whirled around, her expression shocked. "Axel...?"

It was hardly uncommon for gladiators to engage in prostitution to earn extra money. Even Marluxia, as respected as he seemed, was known to sell his body every so often. However, Aqua and Marluxia were free citizens who could choose to engage in prostitution, whereas if Axel had been favorable he would have no choice. Fortunately, Axel never had been chosen for prostitution.

"Axel, wait outside." Terra instructed.

"Wait, I'm curious to know how you two met." Axel interrupted.

Terra sighed. "If you must know, Master Ventus comes down here sometimes and brings me. By chance encounter I met Aqua, but when Master Ventus is around I'm not allowed to speak to her. Whenever Master Ventus doesn't come here, I have to cater to his--needs."

Axel knit his brows, thinking deeper. "Does Master Ventus ever ask for you...?" He asked Aqua.

Aqua groaned. "He is my least-favorite client. But if his appearance means I'll see Terra, I'm willing to put up with it. Besides, it's over so quickly."

With that, the two turned away from him.

Axel slumped against the side of the building, staring at the torchlight.

He knew that if he told Master Ventus, Terra would distrust him and be punished. If he kept the secret like the other slaves, everyone would probably be happier until someone grew suspicious. Then the answer would be tortured out of him.

He sighed, closing his eyes and waiting for Terra to return so they could head back before sunrise.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations   
> \- Auribus Teneo Lupum - I hold a wolf by the ears, a saying meaning a situation in which there is no better solution  
> \- Coena - Dinner


	8. Scientia Ipsa Potentia Est

He had not been sure at what time the two of them had returned home, but Axel woke in his bed with an aching back.

Terra slept soundly in his bed, as if he had not ventured out at night at all.

The thought of Ventus finding out about Terra's affair with Aqua settled heavily in Axel's stomach. If Terra let slip that Axel had tagged along, then Ventus would punish Axel as well. Of course Terra had said all the other slaves knew of the affair, so he might use another name to ease the burden.

Still, Axel did not want to consider the possibility. He glanced around at the other slaves, all sleeping. Even the head slave, who was to wake the others at sunrise, was fast asleep. From the thin window, Axel could see Aurora spreading her fingers out across the blackness to herald Sol's arrival.

The only deities of the Romans Axel truly knew of were Sol, Luna, and Aurora, the brother and sisters whom brought night and day. He knew there were three miniature statues of gods in the shrine in the atrium, but he was unsure of who they were. Perhaps he would ask Roxas.

At the exact moment of sunrise, the head slave sat up and swung his legs over the side of his bed. He grumbled, "Get up, get up" at the other slaves, rustling their blankets and pushing their shoulders to wake them.

Axel watched as he pushed Terra the hardest of all. If Terra had weighed any less than he did, he would have fallen off his bed.

The personal slaves of the household were assigned to wake their masters and mistress at this hour as well.

Axel pushed open the door to Roxas's room, which was shrouded in darkness from the curtains draped over the windows.

He slipped past Roxas to open the curtains, drawing them back and letting Sol's approaching light wash over the boy.

In the light, Roxas's hair shone like the rays of the sun god's crown. He blinked the sleep from his eyes, as clear as the sky. The boy almost seemed radiant, like a descendant of the sun god himself.

"Good morning, Axel," Roxas groaned, rubbing his eyes.

"Good morning, Master," Axel bowed his head a bit. "Shall I help you into your morning robes?"

"Yes, that will be fine," Roxas agreed, sliding out of bed and trudging over to his dresser. Axel was supposed to choose a tunic for him, but when he opened the closet he became so infatuated with the lavish fabrics he had never seen before.

"Is something wrong?" Roxas asked.

"N-nothing, Master," Axel shook his head, choosing a simple tunic for Roxas to change into.

He stripped his clothes off him, dressing him in the new tunic.

"Shall I fetch your morning meal?" Axel offered.

"Bread and fruit will do," Roxas decided, taking his seat at his desk.

As Axel hurried off to the kitchens, he knew his day would become much less entertaining.

"Pardon me, Master, but would you tell me the other kinds of deities you worship?" Axel asked.

"Of course," Roxas gave him a faint smile, sitting down on the floor of his room. He unfurled a scroll, the letters just senseless splotches to Axel. He began listing off many of the deities, which did not stay nearly organized in Axel's mind.

"Which ones are in the shrine in the atrium?" Axel continued.

"The one on the far left is Janus, the god of doorways and new beginnings, to guard our house. In the middle is Vesta, the goddess of the hearth, to keep us warm and safe. On the far right is Minerva, the goddess of wisdom, to ensure my father always stays as wise as he is and grant us the knowledge he possesses." Roxas explained.

"I see..." Axel nodded. He gazed at the scroll, trying to make sense of the useless scribbling.

"What's the matter?" Roxas furrowed his brows.

"Nothing, Master." Axel decided.

"Are you trying to _read_?" The boy wondered.

Axel could feel the punishment arriving before it even began. "N-no, Master."

"Oh...do you know how to read at all?" Roxas continued.

"Of course not, I've been a slave all my life." Axel answered, as if it should be obvious.

"Right, I should have known..." He faltered, as if pondering something.

After a long silence, Roxas asked, "Would you like to know how to read?"

Axel felt his skin turn cold. What punishments would come to him if someone found out he could read? "No, Master, it's quite alright..."

"I'll teach you," Roxas offered, "there's no harm in knowing how."

"For a slave it is," Axel pointed out.

Roxas pondered that thought and replied, "Then I shall take the blame for it."

He rolled up the scroll containing the names of the Roman deities on it and exchanged it for a writing tablet. He placed a piece of parchment on it to write on, then brought it back to Axel.

Using a stylus, Roxas drew out each letter carefully, explaining the name and the sounds one by one.

 

"You know, you're lucky to be taught how to read. Most slaves are never this fortunate." Roxas said once Axel had gained a loose grasp of the alphabet.

"Yes, I understand. Thank you Master Roxas, for teaching me." Axel nodded.

Again, Roxas seemed to let the word chafe against his skin.

"Is something the matter, Master?" Axel wondered.

"Please...don't call me 'master' when it's just the two of us." Roxas decided.

"Why not?"

"I don't like being called that. Ventus says I have to get used to it if I ever want to inherit the house and the slaves properly, but I just don't think positions of authority are for me." Roxas explained. "So when we're alone, please just use my name."

Having called anyone above his status "master" or "mistress" for years, Axel was unsure of this new command.

"Roxas..." Axel let the word settle in the air. It felt foreign to use his first name, but at last it lingered sweetly on his tongue.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations   
> \- Scientia Ipsa Potentia Est - Knowledge itself is power


	9. Aegri Somnia

No matter how hard he tried, Axel could not escape his nightmares.

Over and over, he witnessed Isa drowning in the river and young Lea being branded by the birds.

But since he had been transferred to live in Ansem's house, new nightmares surfaced.

One particular night, it began with the same dream of the river. Isa's blue head sank underneath the current once again. However, the Lea on the other side of the river disappeared into the wind without being branded this time.

Axel's skin prickled in anticipation. The setting was silent now.

Suddenly, from the river protruded a hand, grabbing Axel's ankle. He jumped back, but the hand gripped onto him.

A mottled form appeared from the river, hoisting itself out of the murky depths.

Once it had fully appeared, the form took the shape of a young man. His hair was the color of Isa's, only longer. The tips of his ears came to a point and were pierced with studs at the lobe.

The man looked up and met eyes with Axel, and his face became clearer. In an X shape across the man's nose trailed a scar, and his eyes were rich amber.

"You left me..." The man growled.

"Left you...? Who are you?" Axel demanded.

"You left me!" He insisted, gripping Axel's leg tighter. He pulled himself to his feet, grabbing hold of Axel's collar. "How could you leave me, Lea?"

"Isa...?" Axel croaked, the man's hands throttling him. "Please...let go..."

"Your prayers won't save you, traitor." Isa murmured.

Axel's windpipe collapsed, and he fell into darkness.

 

Axel's eyes fluttered open, but he could see nothing in the overwhelming absence of light.

He was lying on his front, his hands bound behind his back.

Dissonant voices murmured around him, but he couldn't make out significant voices or words.

Something pressed against his back, someone's shoe maybe.

"What should we do with him?" One of the voices, now clear, asked.

The room was suddenly flooded with dim torchlight, though the light floated around. Axel realized the torches were being held by people.

Pairs of feet stood around Axel, but he couldn't tell how many were standing before him.

"I say we give him what he deserves." Another voice replied.

"Who are you...?" Axel croaked, "Show yourselves!"

Another foot pressed against Axel's cheek. "Silence, prisoner."

A hand grabbed him by his hair, shining the light of a torch in Axel's face. He was met with a human face, and if he weren't on his front he would have vomited at the recognition of the face: Riku, the boy he had killed over a week ago.

"He's not worth a quick death," Riku decided, throwing Axel's head back onto the ground.

Axel now realized the people around him were the victims of bloodthirsty crowd whom had been sentenced to death in front of them. He couldn't remember many of their names since he had killed them so long ago, but he couldn't let go of Riku's face.

"I'm sorry..." Axel groaned, "please, don't hurt me."

"Why not? You didn't hear our pleas when you killed us. You're nothing, Axel, nothing but a murderer." Another voice said.

"Murderer, murderer, murderer," the voices chanted.

"Please, I'm sorry..." Axel begged.

The ghosts of the victims kicked at his body, hitting him in the back and the stomach. Axel could not curl up to protect himself, and a foot collided with his gut.

Whatever food Axel had apparently ingested was vomited up, and Axel tasted blood in the sour mix.

In the darkness, he heard the awful cracking noises of his bones being broken.

Suddenly he felt a warm liquid being doused over him. At first Axel suspected it was urine, but it didn't smell like urine.

"There's a special place in the underworld for you, Axel. We'll be waiting for you there." Riku said, throwing his torch on top of Axel's broken body.

The flames lapped up the liquid, which Axel realized was oil. The flames licked his body, stinging him.

The ghosts dissipated into the darkness as Axel's pained screams echoed through the emptiness.

 

Once again the scene changed, but this time Axel had never seen what was laid out before him.

He stood alone in a white room, with a mirror facing him. His scraggly reflection gazed back at him.

He felt compelled to touch the surface, and once his fingers came in contact with the glass the mirror shattered.

Some of the shards pierced his skin as they fell to the floor. Axel stepped back, seeing all the pieces reflected different images now.

He glanced up to the ceiling, which was as plain white as the rest of the room, but the shards depicted something else in them as if they had been ripped from different frescoes.

One shard, smeared in Axel's blood, depicted a mottled form lying on its back on the steps leading back out to the house's garden. The figure's neck was broken, as it was bent in an odd angle.

Another shard depicted another mottled form running away from the villa, carrying a folded up cloth filled with its belongings.

A third shard showed Axel wrestling with another figure by the dim lighting of an oil lamp, the figure's hands sliding over Axel's chest in a way he had never seen before.

Before he could reach out to pick the shards up, they melted away into the floor along with the blood Axel dripped on them.

Though the mirror was gone, Axel heard another cracking noise like the glass being broken. He looked down at his feet and saw red webs climbing up his legs.

The red webbing spread all throughout his body, and he realized the cracking noise was coming from _him_.

He couldn't feel them spreading across his skin, but he knew they covered his entire body. He touched his face, and suddenly shattered to pieces.

 

Axel woke with a start, his heartbeat thudding in his chest.

The other slaves were already up and bustling around him, though as Axel realized it was not even sunrise.

"What's going on...?" Axel asked Terra.

"Hurry up and wake Master Roxas," Terra instructed.

"Why? What's happening?" Axel insisted.

"Lady Xion will be arriving at noon." Terra replied. "Get Master Roxas ready to see his betrothed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations  
> \- Aegri Somnia - A sick man's dreams, troubled dreams


	10. Familia Supra Omnia

Axel rushed to Roxas's chamber, pulling the curtains aside. Sol was not yet up, so no light would flood the room.

"Roxas, Lady Xion is arriving at noon." Axel hissed. Roxas was unmoved, but Axel could not touch him to shake him.

Axel glanced around the room, looking for something to wake Roxas with. He finally clapped his hands loudly, startling Roxas to wake.

"How dare you, I--" Roxas began, but when he met eyes with Axel he seemed to melt into content. "Morning, Axel."

"Sorry I had to wake you in such a way, but Lady Xion will be arriving." Axel replied.

"Oh right, I forgot she was coming today." Roxas sprung out of bed, going over to his closet. "Let's see...I think I'll wear this." He handed Axel a crisp clean toga to be dressed in.

Axel stripped off Roxas's sleeping robes and changed him into his toga.

"I won't be able to formally introduce you two since you're a slave, but hopefully you can gather that she is a wonderful young lady." Roxas reminded him.

"Yes, of course," Axel nodded.

"Xion will be a perfect wife for someone other than me," Roxas murmured.

Axel felt tempted to ask why Roxas would say such a thing, but at that moment he was swept away by his duties.

 

When noon arrived, Axel followed Roxas and Ansem outside the villa to greet their guests.

A litter carried by four slaves stopped in front of the villa. Out stepped Lord Xaldin, whom exchanged greetings with Ansem and Roxas before going inside with Ansem.

Following Lord Xaldin was a girl maybe Naminé's age, wearing a dark blue toga that fell to her ankles. She was adorned in many jewels and gold necklaces. Her hair was choppy and short, and on her head was a gold marital crown in the likeness of a laurel wreath.

"Greetings Lady Xion," Roxas bowed.

Lady Xion curtsied in response. "Good morning, Master Roxas."

"Shall we join our fathers for the midday meal?" Roxas offered his arm to escort the noble girl.

"Saïx, come along." Lady Xion announced.

From behind the litter came another slave as an escort.

Axel's blood turned cold and his hungry stomach constricted when his eyes fell upon the slave: his appearance matched the one of Isa's in Axel's dream.

The slave met eyes with Axel, and recognition flickered in the slave's eyes.

"Axel, come along." Roxas ordered.

"Yes, Master." Axel agreed, following him inside.

 

After the midday meal, Lord Xaldin and Ansem discussed politics and business in the atrium while Lady Xion and Roxas strolled about the garden.

Axel stood by the house, facing the garden though not permitted to go into it.

"Lea...is that you?" A voice asked behind him, and Axel turned to find the slave whom had escorted the two visitors.

"Isa...? It can't be, I thought you--"

"Were captured in the war? I was, unfortunately." Isa interrupted.

"I was sure you were dead all these years...what happened to you? What's that scar? What happened to your eyes, your ears?" Axel could barely keep himself from spilling his words.

"The same that happened to you with those tattoos: branding. They also stripped me of my name, I'm no longer Isa but rather Saïx." Isa replied.

"I see...they named me Axel." Axel answered. "What did they do to you, where were you kept all these years?"

"I changed hands very often until I wound up in the care of Lord Xaldin. He has been the least wrathful, as I have not sustained any permanent mutilations." Isa, or Saïx, let his hand waver over his face and ears. "Where did they keep you?"

"I was sold to a gladiator school just south of here," Axel explained, "they trained me to fight for entertainment."

"A cruel world for captives of war, is it not?" Saïx wondered. "Unfortunately we will never be free, nor were we free in Gaul."

Axel stared out at the garden. "Did you think of me all those years?"

"Of course I thought about you, you were my best friend. When I was captured I knew it was impossible to reunite with you, but still I never truly stopped hoping."

"Did...did you ever think of me as something more?" Axel wondered.

"More than a best friend?" Saïx repeated. He thought for a moment. "I perhaps thought of you as a brother...why do you ask such a thing?"

"I never stopped thinking about you, either. For years I've had the same dream about you: you drown in the middle of a river. But last night, you returned from the river, looking as you do now. You...you called me a traitor and choked me to death." Axel explained. "Do you see me as a traitor?"

Saïx thought for a moment in silence. Axel felt his heart drop into his stomach. 

"It was understandable that you could not come looking for me," he replied slowly, "so I at least can understand that."

"But you think I'm a traitor?" Axel insisted.

"Lea..." Saïx murmured, "you never came looking for me, did you?"

"Don't call me 'Lea' like that, and if it had been possible I would've." 

"Oh, but it _was_ possible. But you didn't give me a second thought. Do you know why I have this scar, or why my eyes are no longer the color of the sea? They told me with each new mutilation that I would learn my lesson, but of course I never did. I believed in you, I believed you would've ran no matter what the cost. So I kept running, Axel, I searched for years trying to find you again." Saïx growled.

Axel's blood chilled in his veins. "I'm...sorry." 

"Be sorry all you want, but I'll forever know that you never once thought to defy the rules and come after me. I said I thought of you as a brother, and I knew you thought of me as something even more than that. Why didn't you push on that feeling, why did you just let it settle like sand at the bottom of the river that you let me drown in every night? For once, the great rule-breaking Lea followed the rules, and look at what it cost him." Saïx sneered. "Did you really believe it was hopeless to come  looking for me, or were you just scared? Because if I remember correctly, you used to say nothing scared you. _Nothing_." 

With that, Saïx glanced up at the sky. "Excuse me, I must gather my mistress for the evening meal." 

Axel followed him to gather Roxas to come inside. 

 

In  the midst of the garden, the slaves overheard the conversation between their owners:

"We are to be married in only a few months' time..." Xion said softly.

"Are you not excited for the affair?" Roxas wondered.

Xion did not speak for a moment, then answered, "Do not misunderstand me, but I am quite apprehensive about it."

"I cannot misunderstand, for I feel the same way." Roxas admitted.

"Does it ever seem that you are nothing but a puppet in your father's game?" Xion asked.

"Now this I'm not sure I understand."

"Roxas, what kinds of things would you do if you had the freedom to?" 

Roxas now held a silence, until he said, "I suppose I'd do anything I wanted, like...I've always admired the way gladiators fight in the arena. Father would not let me learn to fight, since I am a noble and therefore have no need for combat skills. What would you do?"

"Please do not take this wrongly but...I would like to fall in love properly, without being pushed to marry first." Xion added.

"Fall in love? With whom would you fall in love with?" 

"Anyone I wanted," Xion smiled, "of course, I would probably take favor in you..."

Roxas chuckled and looked away from her gaze. "You flatter me, Xion."

"But it is the truth." Xion affirmed. "Who would you fall in love with?"

Roxas shifted for a moment, as if weighing the consequences of his possible answers. "I'm not quite sure."

Xion didn't seem to take offense in his answer, and he seemed to relax at this. 

"My lady, it is time for the evening meal,"  Axel watched as Saïx suddenly appeared from behind a grove of trees to meet them. 

"Yes Master Roxas, please come inside as well." Axel agreed, following Saïx's example.

"I see. Come, Lady Xion." Roxas offered his arm to escort Xion into the house, while the two slaves followed behind them.

 

The family gathered around the low table for the meal. Axel and Saïx stood by the wall, observing the meal and overhearing conversations. 

Naminé and Xion were engaged in some conversation on their own, while the men discussed more politics and business. Ventus and Roxas found themselves somewhere in the middle of the divided room, but the two leaned more toward the masculine conversation.

At Ansem's request, Ventus was to permitted to drink only two goblets of wine to remain civil. Begrudgingly, Ventus sipped on his wine.

When Sol had returned to his palace and Luna took her place in the sky, Lord Xaldin and Lady Xion took their leave and returned home. 

As Axel helped Roxas change into his sleeping robes, Roxas observed, "You seemed to go rigid earlier when you caught sight of Xion's slave." 

Axel couldn't help but go rigid at his observation. "I-it was nothing, his appearance just gave me a chill."

"It's more than that, you've gone stiff even now when I mentioned him. Who is he?" Roxas insisted. 

When Axel did not reply right away, Roxas added, "You can tell me anything, I'm not going to tell anyone."

"He was my best friend when I was a young boy." Axel explained. "We were soldiers in the Gaul army, and during a battle with the Romans, he was captured. I was too scared to look for him, and eventually I was captured and brought to the gladiator school. I believed he was dead for so long, until he appeared today like a ghost to haunt me."

"I see..." Roxas nodded.

"It hurts more because he believes I'm a traitor for not going to look for him when he tried so desperately. That's why he looks so different now, he was tortured each time he tried to escape. And...he knew I loved him as even more than a brother." Axel couldn't help himself from spilling out his past like an open wound spills blood. Roxas had pierced into him. 

"He was your lover?" Roxas repeated.

"Not really, but I did love him..." Axel admitted. "But now we are strangers to each other. He does not even consider me family anymore."

Roxas sat in silence for a moment. "I understand, and I'm terribly sorry that had to happen..."

"What's done is done," Axel decided, "I just have to find someone else to put above everything since I failed to put Isa above everything."

Roxas parted his lips for moment as if to make a suggestion, but closed them promptly. 

"I suppose, as your slave, I am to put you above all." Axel said to him.

"I can't force you to choose me over everything." Roxas shook his head. "In fact, I'd prefer if you didn't choose me, especially as my slave."

"But...I _want_ to put you over everything." Axel insisted. "Slave or not, you're all I have now."

Roxas's cheeks suddenly became flushed, and Axel wondered if he had somehow contracted a fever.

"Are you alright?" He wondered.

"Yes, I'm fine..." Roxas replied, "thank you for choosing me."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations  
> \- Familia Supra Omnia - Family above all
> 
>  


	11. Calix Meus Inebrians

"Roxas, are you ready to go?" Ventus shouted outside the door.

"Almost," Roxas shouted back.

"I apologize for speaking out of turn, but where are we going again? And for what purpose?" Axel asked.

"We're going to another one of Father's clients' villas, for his son Vanitas's birthday," Roxas replied, fixing his toga. "And you don't have to apologize for speaking out of turn between us."

"Alright..." Axel nodded. Roxas had given him many freedoms by now, but the fact remained that Axel would still be Roxas's slave.

Axel opened the door for him, and Roxas stepped out into the hallway to meet Ventus.

"I don't see why I have to attend," Roxas mumbled, walking briskly, "I don't even like Vanitas that much..."

"Why not? Is he too entertaining for your boring ways?" Ventus teased.

"He's reckless and often vulgar," Roxas stated, "much like someone else I know."

Ventus grinned and pushed his brother, knocking him into Axel. Axel caught the boy awkwardly, trying to get him back on his feet while Ventus cackled loudly. Terra rolled his eyes discreetly, though Axel noticed.

The two boys and their father stepped into the litter while Axel and Terra trailed behind.

 

General Eraqus, leader of one of Rome's vast legions, was found outside his villa in the front yard, teaching his son Vanitas how to sword fight.

Ansem and the twins stepped out of the litter, approaching Eraqus.

"Ansem, greetings my good man." Eraqus shook Ansem's hand firmly. "Here, why don't you have a match with my son here?"

He slapped the wooden sword in Ansem's reluctant hand, and motioned toward a boy of seventeen or eighteen years of age. The boy, Vanitas,

"I really don't think I'm qualified, though I'm sure the boys would enjoy it." He passed the sword to Ventus, who copied Vanitas's stance.

Vanitas lunged at Ventus, but Ventus blocked his swing. Ventus pushed him back, swinging the sword wildly. In one swift lunge, Vanitas jabbed Ventus while his arm was flung back.

"Got you." Vanitas smirked.

"You try, Roxas." Ventus handed the sword to his brother.

Unsurely, Roxas bent his knees. Vanitas lunged and ended the fight before Roxas could even swing his arm.

"You're too easy, Roxas." Vanitas shook his head.

"So what's this I hear about your new house slave, Ansem?" Eraqus wondered.

"You're interested in my slave?" Ansem asked.

"It's been the talk of the town: Ansem the Wise has bought one of Rome's finest gladiators." Eraqus announced.

One of the finest? Axel asked himself. The news was enough to flatter Axel, though he was not allowed to show it.

"Yes, that is true: I bought two of Rome's gladiators." Ansem affirmed.

"Then let's have him take on my Vanitas. Have a go at it." Eraqus pushed Axel toward the boy, and Axel bent his knees.

Vanitas lunged, but Axel whacked the sword away. He could assess that, in one move, Vanitas relied on power more than skill. The boy was muscular, but he was also shorter than Axel. He could use his size to his advantage, but the way he moved told Axel he wanted his enemy to fear him despite his size.

Axel stepped forward, swinging at Vanitas and blocking his hits. He jabbed at Vanitas, but he scooted backward and lunged again. Axel knocked his sword back again, jabbing at Vanitas's chest.

Vanitas dropped his sword. "Impressive, I suppose...how do you think you'd fare with a _real_ sword?"

Axel knew he'd do alright, though he wasn't sure how far this kid would go to defeat him.

Vanitas called over a slave to present them with a pair of real swords. 

Axel gripped the handle, feeling the balance of the blade. It had been a while since Axel had held a real blade. It made him feel the heaviness of guilt, but also the adrenaline of a good sparring in which no one got hurt.

Vanitas and Axel bowed to each other nobly, then Vanitas took the first strike. Axel swatted the sword away, jabbing at him, but Vanitas dodged. Vanitas swung at Axel, but he blocked again. Metal scraped against metal as their swords slowly slid off each other, until Axel reached the tip of Vanitas's first and he jumped back.

Vanitas grunted and lunged, but Axel dodged again. He whacked the blade aside, which allowed him enough open space to kick Vanitas in the ribs, though he would not be allowed to exhibit his full powers here. There was an awkward pause while the two waited for his opponent to make a move.

"Come on, if you're so great then give it your all." Vanitas demanded.

Axel took this as a command to use the space to his advantage, and he kicked Vanitas in the ribs. Vanitas reeled back, grinning wildly. He swung at Axel again, but Axel blocked and pushed Vanitas back again. Vanitas lunged and jabbed at Axel, and Axel sidestepped, but Vanitas slashed into Axel's calf. 

"Axel!" Roxas couldn't refrain from blurting out his name. Ventus gave him a confused glance.

Axel had felt worse pain, so he continued fighting. He slashed at Vanitas, throwing him off balance. He used the flat of the blade to whack Vanitas's side, throwing him to the ground. He pointed the tip at Vanitas's throat. 

"Again, impressive..." Vanitas nodded. 

Axel removed the sword from Vanitas's throat, and Vanitas stood.

"Why don't we all go inside to chat?" Eraqus decided, leading his party inside.

The men went inside, followed by Terra and the other slave.

Warm sticky blood dripped out of Axel's cut, and now the pain forced him to limp inside.

Before he made his way to the stairs, he heard Roxas's voice from just near the door:  "You're hurt..."

"It's alright, Vanitas had told me not to hold back and I expected him not to, either." Axel assured.

"At least let me clean it out..." Roxas offered.

"What if you get into trouble?" Axel asked.

"Into trouble for what? We still have to take care of slaves," Roxas reminded him, "besides, it isn't right to just forget you're injured."

Roxas let Axel lean on him while he limped over to the water pump. Water gushed from the spout over Axel's wound, washing the blood away. Roxas ripped out a strip of cloth from his toga that would remain invisible to the naked eye, but they would be able to see the bandage wrapped around Axel's leg. He bound the wound, tying the cloth.

"There, all better," Roxas affirmed.

"Thank you." Axel nodded.

"Do...do you think you could teach me how to use a sword?" Roxas asked.

"I suppose so," Axel agreed, and added, "what for?"

"I admire the way you can fight," Roxas replied, "I can see why people call you one of the greatest gladiators in Rome."

"Oh...you flatter me." Axel shook his head. His cheeks felt warm, like a fire had ignited in them, and he touched them gently. "I think I'm getting a fever."

"I don't think so." Roxas placed his hand on Axel's forehead. "No, you're just embarrassed."

"I don't think I've ever reacted this way to anything," Axel noted. "Are you sure it isn't a fever?"

"No, it's just blushing," Roxas assured again, "I've blushed many times around you." His eyes widened as if he had spoken wrongly, and he blushed in response.

"Why do you blush around me?" Axel asked.

"I-I-I don't mean to," Roxas stammered. He stood up and said, "Let's just join the others inside."

 

At dusk, the men gathered around the table for the evening meal. The servants attended to their needs, pouring more wine and giving them more food when gestured to.

"Hey Ventus, I bet I can drink more than you," Vanitas challenged.

"I doubt it, but I _know_ you can drink more than my brother." Ventus clapped his brother on the shoulder, and Roxas sputtered.

"I'd like to know how much of a fool Roxas is when he drinks enough." Vanitas mused.

"I don't think you'd like to witness that," Roxas objected.

"Come on brother, you're so boring and uptight. Unwind for once and drink till you're sick." Ventus urged.

"What, the way you do?" Roxas quipped.

"Ventus, you drink till you're sick?" Vanitas smirked in amusement.

"Every chance I get," Vanitas confirmed, "are you too uptight to let yourself go like that as well?"

"Why don't we all drink as much as we can, in celebration of my birthday?" Vanitas announced.

"Yes, I agree. What say you, Roxas?" Ventus asked.

"Why must I participate...?" Roxas sighed.

"It's _my_ birthday, and it would be rude to me," Vanitas said.

Roxas knit his brows before finally submitting to their foolishness.

In an hour, the three boys had become drunken fauns in the room. The two adults had left to chat elsewhere, and the boys had become loud in their stupor.

Roxas stumbled over to Axel, placing his hand on his bare chest. "Axshel...." He slurred.

"Yes, Master?" Axel responded. "Do you need me to fetch an urn for you to vomit in?" 

"Nnnooo," Roxas shook his head, his eyelids drooping.

"What is it?" 

Roxas placed both his hands on Axel's face, bringing it close to his.

"I wannt to give you a _sshavium_ ," Roxas mumbled.

"Excuse me, but a _what_?" Axel asked.

"Sh...shh... _savium_." Roxas finally said.

"What is a _savium_...?" Axel mumbled, but at that moment Roxas pressed his lips to Axel's.

Axel trembled in surprise as Roxas's lips clumsily pushed against his. Roxas's fingers slipped into Axel's hair, and Axel could see Roxas had his eyes closed. Out of confusion, Axel closed his eyes as well.

He became lost in this sensation, as if Roxas was transferring his drunkenness to him. The world around them seemed to melt away. Axel's head fogged and he couldn't think. What was this strange gesture, and why was Roxas giving it to him?

At last they broke away, and Roxas lifted his drooping eyelids. Then, he stumbled away and hunched over, retching into an urn.

Axel touched his lips, the heat of Roxas's mouth still lingering.

 

"Roxas, can I ask you something?" Axel asked.

Roxas lay in his bed, almost entirely enveloped in Somnus's arms.

"Mm...?" He mumbled.

"What...is a _savium_?" 

Roxas went silent, then answered, "It's a passionate kiss on the lips."

"What's a kiss?"

"It's when two people press their lips together."

"Why do people do it?"

"I don't know, people do it when they're in love I think. Why do you even ask?"

Axel pondered if he should tell Roxas about what had happened in his drunken stupor. Perhaps he would only tell him partially.

"You wanted to give me a _savium_  while you were drunk, but then you vomited." Axel lied.

Roxas went silent again. Then he finally mumbled, "I see...well, goodnight Axel."

"Goodnight Roxas." He nodded, and left the room with his fingers still touching his lips. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> \- Calix Meus Inebrius - My cup making me drunk
> 
> \- Savium - Passionate kiss on the lips


	12. Delectatio Morosa

Since their brief inebriated kiss, Axel could not shake the meaning from his head. Roxas had said people kissed because they loved each other. Though Axel did not understand much of the new world he had been thrown into, he understood the feeling of love. Did Roxas love him, then? Or was it just senseless mumbling in the boy's drunken fit?

No matter the case, Axel could not let the thought overwhelm him. Above everything, Roxas owned Axel. Despite the freedoms Roxas had given him, Axel was still socially below him. 

Still, the thought burrowed deep into Axel's mind and refused to leave. Axel's diligence began to fade as he only half-completed his tasks.

Roxas noticed fairly quickly and asked, "Is something bothering you?"

"Nothing, it's fine," Axel insisted.

"No, it's not. You've been living here for a while and I know when something's bothering you. Plus, I can't have you only half-finishing your duties. What's the matter?" 

Axel shifted uncomfortably. "Do you remember anything from Vanitas's birthday?"

"Not much after the sun went down, I at least know I drank pretty heavily..." Roxas admitted.

"Oh, well...y-you didn't just _want_ to give me a _savium_..." Axel found himself stammering.

Roxas knitted his brows, listening intently.

"Y-you...you kissed me on the lips." Axel's cheeks flushed at the thought, and his lips tingled.

Roxas's cheeks also flushed. "I-I-I probably didn't mean to, I was clearly inebriated to the point where I didn't know what was going on..." 

"Right, of course. Because you said that people kiss when they're in love, and...yeah." Axel faltered.

"Yes, absolutely," Roxas agreed rather quickly. 

Between the silence, Axel heard a growling noise and his stomach pinched. 

"Oh, it's about time for a midday meal." Roxas seemed relieved to change the subject. 

"I'll go get some bread and cheese." Axel turned on his heel to leave the room, but in his hurry out the door he tripped on something near Roxas's bed. A sickening mixture of greasy and warm liquids spread over Axel's foot, and Roxas muttered a curse to himself.

"I'm sorry..." Axel began.

"Be careful, there's broken glass." Roxas waved his hands around frantically.

Axel glanced at his foot as he inched away from the glass shards, seeing olive oil mixing with blood dripping over his sandal.

"Uh...don't move, I'll be right back to clean it up." Roxas rushed off to the kitchen.

Axel furrowed his brows, his confusion being produced by trying to process everything that had just happened.

Roxas returned with a cleaning cloth and a broom to sweep away the mess. He soaked up the olive oil and swept the shards into a bucket to carry them off for disposal.

"Why would you clean up this mess, isn't this my fault?" Axel wondered.

"I didn't want you to injure your foot worse." Roxas took the pitcher of water off his desk and poured it out on Axel's wound. The remaining oil mixed with the water, pooling in little green spots above the reddening water. 

"I didn't cut it that badly," Axel assured, "but why did you have a bottle of olive oil under your bed?" 

"Th-that isn't important, but I'll have to replace it. Will you escort me to the market?" Roxas asked.

"Of course, just let me clean this up. It surprised me that you did that." Axel noted.

"Oh, well I guess I should take better care of my things, especially.... _that_." Roxas's cheeks flushed and he hurried outside to wait in the hall.

Axel, still puzzled by the entire scene, cleaned up the rest of the liquid and escorted Roxas to the market.

 

Roxas stayed close by as the two wandered through the market. Axel felt far too embarrassed to ask what the bottle of olive oil had been for, but he would perhaps eventually find out.

Roxas stopped in front of a merchant selling bottles and containers of various shapes and sizes. As Roxas perused his wares, the merchant seemed to notice the intricacy of Roxas's casual clothes. Axel noticed the swindling glint in the merchant's eyes from years of observing the same glint in the eyes of Axel's sellers. 

"Interested in something, young man?" The merchant grinned.

"Just looking for a perfume bottle--for my sister." It seemed unnecessary for Roxas to have included a subject, but the merchant didn't seem to take note. "I think this one will do." Roxas held up a blue glass bottle in the style of an amphora. 

"I see, a very interesting design you've chosen. That specific bottle is very rare, from a town in the north. For that I will offer you...three _denarii_." The merchant decided.

"Three _denarii_?" Roxas repeated. "I wasn't set on paying so much as one..."

"This bottle is quite special, young man, certainly not worth one _denarius_." The merchant objected.

Roxas wavered for a moment. It occurred to Axel that Roxas had probably never made a business deal on his own in his life, and even so he shouldn't have been here without his father. He flicked his eyes to Axel, catching his gaze. Axel shook his head very slightly, so even Roxas couldn't have seen had he not been watching carefully.

Roxas faced the merchant again and said clearly, "Then I will not be accepting your business here."

The merchant, his eyes wide, witnessed his deal slipping away, and he responded, "No, wait, how about we settle on two _denarii_?" 

Roxas scrunched his lips to the corner of his mouth, raising an eyebrow. 

The merchant sighed. "Fine, one _denarius_." 

Roxas fished the coin from a pouch in his toga and placed it on the counter. The merchant wrapped the perfume bottle in a protective cloth, and the two headed home.

"How do you seem to know so much about business deals?" Roxas asked.

"I _was_ a business deal a few times," Axel chuckled a bit, something he had not done since he had been with Isa when they were young.

Roxas giggled and smiled, and Axel found his cheeks feeling warm again.

 

"Why do you keep tracking olive oil everywhere?" Larxene grumbled, getting on her hands and knees to wash the floor again.

As Axel walked, he found the oil squelching from his sandal. 

"I stepped in some..." Axel answered.

"How did you step in olive oil, you didn't spill any in the kitchen?" Larxene noted.

"It was in Master Roxas's room." Axel replied. Then he added, "Larxene, would you by chance have any idea why Master Roxas would have a small bottle of olive oil under his bed?"

Larxene snickered. "You seriously don't know?"

"No...should I?" Axel knit his brows.

"You're a man, I figured all men did it..." Larxene muttered.

"Did what?"

" _Masturbari_ ," Larxene replied.

"What is that?" Axel glanced off to the side. By the way Larxene had snickered at the beginning of their conversation, he wondered if it was something having to do with what prostitutes did.

Larxene pursed her lips, thinking. "Have you ever touched yourself here?" Larxene motioned to between Axel's legs.

"No...I've been kicked there, and it hurts..." Axel offered.

"Okay, well...some men, when they can't find a partner to have sex with, just like to touch themselves there and it's called _masturbari_." Larxene explained.

"Okay...why?" Axel continued.

"Haven't you ever had sex?"

"No..."

"That explains it," Larxene hissed under her breath, "because it feels good."

"But what's the olive oil for?"

"You know how it feels when you scrape against something? Imagine that happening there." 

Axel cringed noticeably.

"Exactly, so the oil is for keeping it from getting that scraped feeling."

"Um...one more question," Axel mumbled.

Larxene groaned. "What?"

"How...how do men have sex with each other?" 

Larxene sat up and laughed aloud.

"Shh, someone will hear you!" Axel hissed.

"You really don't know? I thought you and Isa were lovers."

"No, I just had feelings for him..." Axel admitted. His cheek tinged red.

"One of the men sticks his _mentula_ into the other man's _culus_." Larxene stated. 

Axel cringed again, realizing the pain would be sharp. "Doesn't it hurt?" 

"Oh absolutely, unless one of them sticks his fingers up there to relax the muscles." 

"But that would still hurt..."

"That's why they use olive oil as a lubricant. Sometimes they use saliva, but olive oil works much better, trust me. I can't tell you how many times I've done it that way, too..."

Axel crinkled his nose in disgust. So that was how Terra and Ventus did it...

"Why do you ask these questions, anyway?" Larxene wondered. "Did Master Roxas use you for that purpose yet?"

Yet? Would there be a time when Roxas would ask Axel to do the same thing Ventus asks of Terra?

"N-no, just wondering. Well...Master Ventus often uses Terra to satisfy himself..." Axel immediately felt the guilt crawling over him as he relayed that to Larxene.

"Oh everyone knows about that." Larxene waved her hand dismissively. "Besides, it's not like they're quiet about it. And it's normal for masters to use their slaves for sexual favors."

Axel knew his relationship with Roxas was already unnatural with the way they interacted, but would all that change? If it did, Axel knew he wouldn't be ready for it.

"Alright, thanks for...that." Axel decided, going off to rest for the night.

 

The terms Larxene had used in their conversation earlier that day swam around in Axel's head, confusing him to the point of not being able to sleep.

Late in the night, Terra crept from his bed to visit Aqua. In response, Axel decided to take a walk around the house.

The eerie silence crawled on Axel's skin like insects. Down the hall toward Roxas's room, he heard muffled noises and slight panting coming from the cracked-open door. Had Axel left it open earlier that day?

Every so often, Axel could hear his name bubble up from Roxas's mouth. Maybe he was having a nightmare?

Axel stepped closer, trying to listen into Roxas's nightmare.

"Aah...Axel..." He groaned.

Axel furrowed his brows, wondering if he should wake Roxas from the nightmare.

"Mmm...ah...hah...." 

He knew it was wrong to be listening in on this, and just as he turned away Roxas cried out.

"Aahh!"

The sudden outburst startled him and he tripped again, this time falling into the door. The door swung open, and Axel attempted to peel himself off the floor. He heard sheets rustling in the bed, and turned to find a completely-awake Roxas sitting in bed staring at Axel like a frightened deer.

"I-I-I'm sorry..." Axel stammered, "I couldn't sleep so I took a walk, and it sounded like you were having a nightmare about me."

Roxas's cheeks, which were already flushed, reddened deeper. He averted his eyes, shifting under the blankets. "P-p-please go to bed..."

Axel suddenly remembered his conversation with Larxene earlier, and the realization sank in: Roxas wasn't having a nightmare.

Before he could even start to process why Roxas was groaning Axel's name, he bolted from the room, shutting the door tightly behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> \- Delectatio Morosa - Peevish delight, also pleasure taken in sinful thoughts
> 
> \- Denarius/denarii - Silver coins
> 
> \- Masturbari - Masturbating
> 
> \- Mentula - Penis
> 
> \- Culus - Anus


	13. Acta Non Verba

Ever since their inconvenient encounter, Axel noticed Roxas had developed a habit of biting his bottom lip whenever there was silence between them. His face portrayed an expression that seemed to read that he had something important to say, but could never say it for one reason or another. It almost seemed the poor boy would explode if he did not express his words.

One particular lazy day when Sol's chariot hung at the peak of the sky, Roxas sat at the window wistfully. 

"It's such a pretty day," he observed. "Would you like to go outside with me?"

"Of course," Axel agreed.

Roxas stood, leading Axel out to the garden.

Under the same grove of trees where Roxas had spoken to Xion months ago, the two sat and enjoyed the warmth of the spring-summer season.

Roxas lay back, gazing up at the sky. "Do you ever wonder what it's like outside this city?" Realizing his slight insensitivity to Axel's status, he sat up and stammered, "I-I-I mean..."

"It's quite alright, I understand what you're trying to say," Axel responded sincerely, "and I've only really dreamed about returning to Gaul."

Roxas lay back down, folding his arms behind his head. "What was life in Gaul like?"

"You wish to know about my life?" Axel asked, surprised at this request.

"Yes, if you don't mind sharing it." Roxas affirmed.

"I was never a free man like you," Axel began, "I probably never will be, but I was born into slavery and orphaned at a young age. At around ten years old, I was passed from the hand of my master into the hands of the military to serve as a soldier. I met Isa in the army, and--well, I guess you know about him already. Isa was born a slave as well, so we had that in common and became friends pretty quickly."

"What were you like as a kid?"

"The army  never had much time for childishness, I found exceptions. Back then, I was notorious for playing tricks, and Isa was always very rational and often kept me out of trouble. I...I thought myself fearless. That's why Isa was so upset when we reunited months ago, because I never gave up playing tricks and evading the rules for anyone, and when he needed me to do that most I failed him..." Axel hung his head.

Roxas's hand trembled as he placed it on Axel's hand. Axel raised an eyebrow at this strange gesture, and met eyes with him. Roxas's cheeks flooded with redness, and he began to draw his hand away. Axel flipped his hand over and held Roxas's hand still. Roxas rested his hand in Axel's palm, closing his fingers over it.

"Wh-what was life as a gladiator like?" Roxas stuttered slightly.  

"In a single word, repetitive," Axel chuckled a bit, "not nearly as exciting as it must seem to the audience. Behind closed doors, we went through the same routine of training every day until the games. I was probably of higher status as a gladiator than I am now, but still that isn't an improvement."

"Will you teach me how to fight the way you did when you dueled Vanitas?" Roxas's eyes shone with eagerness.

"I would be happy to," Axel agreed. He glanced around, finding two long sticks in the grove to use as swords. He handed one to Roxas. "Hold it like this. It won't be perfect since you won't be able to feel the balance of the blade, but it'll have to do for now."

Axel stood, pulling Roxas to his feet. "Extend your arm and bend your knees slightly. Bending your knees gives you more versatility than if you were to keep your knees straight. Extend your other arm behind you for balance."

Roxas followed his instructions, and Axel mirrored his stance.

"I'll teach you the most basic movements," Axel decided. "Whenever my blade comes near you, you must find a way to block it."

"I'll try..." Roxas replied in reluctance.

Axel swung gently, and Roxas nudged the stick aside. He swung again with more force, and Roxas blocked again. 

Roxas lunged, but Axel parried the stick away. "You seem to be a natural," Axel smirked slightly.

"I've observed the gladiator fights for years," Roxas admitted. He slashed again, scraping the stick across Axel's bare chest.

"Impressive," Axel noted.

"Will you show me something else?" Roxas requested.

"What do you want to see?" Axel dropped the stick.

"I want to know how you made that fire appear during the chariot races when my father purchased you." 

"Oh...we'll need to gather some materials first. I don't know where we can find them here..." Axel looked around.

Roxas shifted his weight on his feet, contemplating something. "We...we could go into the forest that way..." He pointed behind them.

"Is that allowed?" Axel asked.

"N-no...but I think it's time you went back to being yourself." Roxas decided.

"The old me...you mean the one who used to get in trouble all the time?" Axel knit his brows. As desirable as it sounded, he knew great punishment would come if they were caught. 

"Don't worry about being punished, I'll take the blame for you," Roxas insisted. "Please..."

"I...I suppose I must..." Axel agreed reluctantly.

Roxas's eyes shone for a moment, and the two delved deeper into the grove.

 

"Like this...?" Roxas held up a sticky reed between his fingers.

"Looks pretty good, but we should probably go stand in the pond so we don't set anything on fire," Axel chuckled. He waded into the shallow waters, turning his back on the green. Roxas hoisted up his toga and waded in to his knees. Axel realized how short Roxas was, as the water only came up to Axel's mid-calves. 

"So do I do this--" Roxas brought the reed to his lips, but Axel frantically stopped him.

"Be careful, you don't want to blow too hard; the harder you blow, the larger the flame. Now watch." Axel brought the reed to his lips, tasting the sour familiarity of the ingredients. He let out a gentle puff of air, and a flame the size of his hand danced out of the tip.

Roxas gaped in awe, and brought the reed to his lips. He blew into it, a puff of flame rising from the end. 

"Not bad," Axel praised.

"Where did you learn how to do this?" Roxas grinned.

"I actually learned it from your armies," Axel admitted, "when I saw it, I knew I had to find a way to replicate it."

"That's amazing, having fire at your fingertips like that..." Roxas murmured. He held the reed in his palm, admiring it.

There was silence between them, until Axel dragged his fingers through the water and flicked some at Roxas. Roxas yelped in surprise, whipping his palm through the water and flinging it at Axel. Small bursts of laughter bubbled up from Axel's throat as he dropped the reed and used both hands to send a small wave at Roxas.

 Roxas grinned, pushing water back at him. Axel stepped back to avoid it, but his foot slipped in the mud and he landed in the pond. Roxas laughed, holding out his hand for Axel to take, but Axel smirked deviously and tugged on his arm, pulling him into the depths. 

 

"Why do you think the sky turns red when Sol disappears?" Axel wondered aloud.

The two sat at the edge of the lake, waiting for Sol's chariot to dip under the horizon and vanish for the day.

"I don't know, but it's so pretty to watch, isn't it?" Roxas replied.

"Yeah..." 

Silence lingered between them until Roxas asked, "Do you ever think you'll go back to Gaul? Would you want to?"

Axel thought for a moment. "After all that's happened to me, I don't think returning to Gaul is really what I desire. Rather I'd like to see what else is in the world, much like you do, but I don't think I'll ever be able to."

"My father used to say, ' _Alis grave nil_ ', meaning 'Nothing is heavy with wings'. You and I, we just haven't grown wings yet, but when we do we'll fly out of here and go wherever we want to." Roxas mused.

"I don't think I will ever be allowed to grow wings," Axel said solemnly.

"I will give you your wings someday, when I've grown mine." Roxas touched Axel's collar, rubbing his thumb over the template.

"But you have duties here, don't you want them?" Axel reminded him.

"Not if it means you and I will never be free, especially you." Roxas decided.

"Why do you put me above everything? Why do you give me so many freedoms?" Axel wondered.

"You decided to put me above everything; and I don't consider you a slave at all, I consider you a friend. I consider you as even more than a friend," Roxas explained. His cheeks suddenly flushed the color of the dusk sky.

"What do you consider me?" Axel pressed.

"I...um..." Roxas bit his lip, holding back the irrepressible thought that harbored in his mind.

"What is it?" Axel nudged him lightly with his elbow.

"I...it's getting late, we really should head back..." Roxas rose to his feet, but Axel grabbed his hand. He froze, staring at him.

"Roxas, I know you have something to tell me." Axel said firmly.

Roxas sat on his knees in front of Axel, staring at his hands.

"Can...can I kiss you?" He mumbled.

Axel's cheeks turned the color of his hair, and his face felt like someone had blown fire into it. He found himself stammering, "Wh-why would you want to do that?" 

"Because...I want to give you a kiss that isn't drunk, I want to give you a sincere one." Roxas looked up from his hands.

"I don't think I'm very good at kissing," Axel shook his head.

"Then I'll teach you, since you taught me so much today." Roxas leaned in, tilting his head and closing his eyes.

Axel let his eyelids shut and he tilted his head in the opposite direction. Their lips collided softly, and Axel felt Roxas move closer and sit between his legs. Roxas's fingers brushed against Axel's, lacing themselves between his. 

Now that the taste of alcohol did not linger on Roxas's lips, Axel could taste his sweetness. This _savium_ was nothing like their clumsy drunken kiss, but Axel felt himself melting away again. The world around them seemed to slip away, leaving them as the only things left to exist. 

Slowly, Roxas drew away, opening his eyes and meeting Axel's gaze. Lost in the sensation, neither of them could find their words. 

Even without having to speak, Axel at once knew how Roxas considered him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> \- Acta non verba - Deeds not words


	14. Castigat Ridendo Mores

Axel lay on the floor of Roxas's room, staring at the swirling patterns on the ceiling. "Now that I know how you feel about me, what should I do?" He inquired.

"Well, do you share those feelings with me?" Roxas sat up on his bed.

"Truthfully, I do not know yet. If I were to submit myself to those feelings, we would have the possibility of being in danger, right?" Axel answered.

"That is true," Roxas replied, "but...I'm willing to risk the danger. But please, take all the time you want to think about it."

"I'll try to give you an answer as soon as I can," Axel promised.

"But I want your sincerity, so if it takes forever then I'll wait." Roxas insisted. "In the meantime, I want to interact with you the way friends would interact."

"Then what do you want to do instead of lying around here?" Axel sat up off the floor. 

"I want to help you become more like your old self, like a bit of the Axel I saw when we went to the lake the other day." Roxas decided.

"The old me, the trouble-making, rule-breaking me?" Axel folded his arms. "Aren't you worried about getting in trouble?"

"No, are you?" Roxas smirked.

 

"This trick used to get the best of Isa and me every time the free soldiers played it on us," Axel explained, "do you have any coins, it doesn't matter the value."

Roxas fished out a _solidus_ from his pouch. 

"Alright, we'll need something sticky and some string." Axel nodded.

"I think Naminé might have some beeswax and string in her room, I'll ask her." Roxas took a step in the direction of her room, but Axel tugged on Roxas's toga.

"No, we don't want her to know we're playing pranks on everyone in the house." Axel reminded him.

"Then how are we going to get it?" 

"I'll just go ask, since I have to make it seem like I'm doing normal duties anyway." Axel suggested.

He knocked on the door to Naminé's room, and she opened it up.

"Is there something you need?" She asked.

"Might I be able to borrow some beeswax and string?" Axel responded.

"What for?"

"Master Roxas needs it for some sort of...project."

Naminé  squinted for a moment, then disappeared and returned with a beeswax candle and a spool of thread. "Tell him I need those back later."

"Thank you, Mistress Naminé." Axel bowed slightly and hurried with the supplies back to Roxas.

"So what do we do with this?" Roxas wondered.

Axel scraped a bit of beeswax off the candle and held the string to the coin. He smeared the wax over the coin until it stuck. Axel unwound the thread until it reached all the way down the hall.

"Knock on Ventus's door and run back here to these pillars to hide." Axel instructed.

Roxas silently dashed over to the door to Ventus's room, knocking and swiftly hiding behind one of the pillars. Axel held the string attached to the coin while he hid behind another.

After a few moments, Terra opened the door appearing very disheveled. He looked around for anyone's presence, finally glancing at his feet to find the _solidus_ waiting for him. He glanced around and bent down to reach for it, but Axel tugged on the string and the coin slid out of Terra's reach. Furrowing his brows, Terra reached for the coin again, but Axel tugged harder and pulled it further down the hallway.

"Who is it, and what do they want?" Ventus's irritated voice called out from the chamber.

"No one, Master," Terra replied. He shook his head in disapproval and disappeared back into his room, only to return to attempt to pounce on the coin. Instead, Axel yanked the coin further out of his reach. Terra fell to his knees.

"What in Jupiter's name is going on here...?" Ventus demanded, appearing in the doorway half-dressed.

"Nothing, Master." Terra stood and brushed his robes off.

"Come back inside, we're not finished." Ventus instructed.

"Yes, Master." Terra looked around one last time before closing the door. 

Axel and Roxas shot each other bewildered expressions, and their cheeks turned red simultaneously. Axel reeled in the coin and wiped the beeswax off the surface, handing it back to Roxas.

"What else did you used to do?" Roxas grinned deviously.

Axel pouted his lips in thought. "How sneaky are you?"

"I think I'm pretty sneaky, I mean I _did_ just go up and knock on Ventus's door without them hearing." Roxas said.

"Yes, but you didn't consider the fact that they could have been making noise." Axel pointed out. 

"Oh, I guess that's true..." Roxas looked down at the floor. 

Axel circled behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. Roxas tipped his head up and looked in the direction from which the touch came, but Axel was already standing next to him.

"What was that for? How did you do that without me noticing?" Roxas's jaw hung open in awe.

Axel shrugged. "I had a lot of practice sneaking around." 

"Who are we going play that trick on?" Roxas grinned wildly again.

"How about your father?" Axel suggested.

"He doesn't like me disturbing his studies," Roxas faltered, but he perked up again, "and that's why he would be perfect to play that trick on."

The two of them crept toward Ansem's study, where the scholar sat poring over an array of scrolls on his desk.

"Take your shoes off so you don't hear them slapping against the floor." Axel whispered.

Roxas untied his sandals, leaving them outside the door. He tiptoed over to his father, lightly tapping him on the shoulder. Ansem perked up, glancing to left, but Roxas was already dashing off from the room to his right.

"Go, run!" Roxas hissed, grabbing his sandals and tugging on Axel's arm to pull him away.

"Ventus, I've told you not to disturb me while I'm working!" Ansem shouted from his study.

"He thinks I'm Ventus," Roxas chuckled a bit.

"Is that bad?" Axel wondered.

"Not a bit," Roxas objected.

When the two believed themselves safe from Ansem's wrath, they hunched over, panting.

"Anyone else?" Roxas huffed. 

"I think I'll do the next one, since it requires a bit more directness." Axel decided.

He led Roxas to the kitchen, where Roxas observed from outside the door.

Larxene spotted Axel at the door, and she narrowed her eyes. "What do _you_ want?"

"Nothing, just came to get some--what's that stain on your dress?" Axel pointed at the fabric, on which there was nothing.

Larxene looked down at the dingy cloth, confused. Axel flicked her nose.

"Argh! Axel!" Larxene screeched.

Axel dashed off, grabbing Roxas's arm.

Larxene pursued them like a lion chasing its prey. She chased them out to the garden, where they came to a fork in the path. Axel took off down one path while Roxas stayed at the fork, waiting for Larxene to meet him.

She skidded to a stop, growling, "Where is he, Master?"

"He went that way," Roxas gestured to the opposite path.

She nodded her head, speeding down the path.

Axel appeared from behind a tree, panting. "Thanks for covering for me."

"You're welcome. Thank you for showing me this side of you." Roxas replied.

"It's glad to have that part of me back. I really am grateful for you bringing it back." Axel rubbed the back of his neck.

"Come on, she'll come to a dead end soon." Roxas took Axel's hand, leading him back into the house.

 

"I expect these kind of shenanigans from Ventus, but never from you," Ansem chided.

"Yes Father, I understand." Roxas bowed his head in shame.

Ansem sighed. "First skipping _coena_ and going down to the lake, now pulling childish pranks; what's gotten into you?"

"I suppose it's just my last bit of immaturity before I take on my responsibilities as master of the house," Roxas admitted.

"I understand, but your duties will arrive quicker than you expect." Ansem reminded him.

"I understand, Father," Roxas nodded.

"Now, please join us for the evening meal _without_ your shenanigans." Ansem guided Roxas to the dining room.

Before Roxas disappeared, he turned his head and winked at Axel. Axel nodded in response.

 

"Hey Axel, hold out your palm." Roxas instructed.

"What for?" Axel asked, following his request.

In the middle of his palm, Roxas pressed the _solidus_ they had used for their prank. It still felt waxy on one side.

"What is this for?" Axel wondered.

"I wanted to give it to you. Someday when we're free from this place, you can buy whatever you want with it." Roxas explained.

"I have no use for it now." Axel shook his head, holding it out to Roxas. Roxas shook his head also, closing Axel's fingers around the coin.

"I don't need it, either. Please, take it." Roxas pleaded.

"Thank you..." Axel smiled a bit, and he touched his warm, aching cheeks. "It's funny, I haven't smiled in so long..."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations: 
> 
> \- Castigat ridendo mores - Laughter corrects morals


	15. Cor Ad Cor Loquitur

"Get up, we don't have a lot of time." Terra hissed, shaking Axel awake.

"Wh-what time is it...?" Axel groaned.

"It's not even dawn, but we have to start preparing _now_." Terra insisted.

"What? Why?" Axel swung his legs over the side of his bed.

"It's the _Nemoralia_ ," Terra replied, " _and_ it's the twins' birthday."

Axel perked up. Though he himself never celebrated a birthday, he knew that meant something important.

"But don't slaves get the day off to celebrate the _Nemoralia_?" Axel questioned.

"Exactly, so we must have everything prepared for the festival before traveling to Lake Nemi." Terra nodded.

Axel jumped to his feet to prepare Roxas for the day.

Sol had not yet risen, as Terra had said, so instead Axel gently reached out and touched Roxas's sleeping form to wake him.

"Good morning, Axel," he said hoarsely. As his eyes came into focus, he smiled at Axel.

"Good morning," Axel replied, smiling faintly in return.

Roxas stretched his arms out, reaching for him. Axel bent down a bit uncomfortably, and Roxas sat up to meet him. He embraced him, which caused Axel's heartbeat to quicken.

"What's this for?" He chuckled.

"It's what I wanted for my birthday," Roxas replied, "well, I actually wanted a _more_ than just a hug, but if you're still not sure about your feelings then I can settle for this."

"What else did you want?" Axel wondered.

"You don't have to lean like that, you can sit on the bed." Roxas offered. Axel took his offer.

"Will you give me another kiss?" Roxas asked.

"If that's what you want," Axel agreed. He leaned in and they pressed their lips together. Axel's senses tingled, and his cheeks warmed. Over the past several weeks, he had given his answer to Roxas's question much thought; though how to express his answer he did not know.

The knock on the door jolted them out of their bliss, and Ventus's harsh voice called out, "Hurry up, we're going to be late!"

Axel pulled away sheepishly. "H-he's right, I must get you ready for the day."

"Of course. Slaves are free for the celebration at dawn." Roxas reminded him, sliding out of bed. "Would you like something nice to wear for the occasion?"

"To be honest, I don't think any of your robes would fit me." Axel noted, somewhat embarrassed by the drastic difference in height.

"I can ask my father to lend you one," Roxas suggested.

"He wouldn't let a lowly slave like me wear one of his fine robes," Axel protested.

"I'll find you one he hasn't worn in a while." Roxas decided.

"Are you sure it'll be alright?" Axel hesitated.

"It will be if no one sees you," Roxas replied.

"What if someone _does_ see?" Axel insisted.

"Just _trust_ me," Roxas assured.

As stealthily as he had crept into his father's study the day he and Axel pulled pranks on the various members of the household, Roxas crept into Ansem's chamber to find an barely-used toga for Axel.

"When should I change into it?" Axel held the toga to his body, seeing if it would fit properly. It would still hang awkwardly on his malnourished frame, but at least he would look nice.

"I'll have to be socializing with other people celebrating--also, Xion will be there--but I'll meet you in private when we light the candles." Roxas instructed. "You can change into it before I come to you."

Axel nodded. "How will you hide this?"

"I'll just hide it among the other offerings to Diana." Roxas decided.

The two of them met the procession outside, and Roxas laid the toga among the small cart of offerings. Ventus waited for Roxas to join him in their litter while Naminé accompanied Ansem.

The procession would first gather at the bathhouse to clean up for the ceremony. The slaves, though they had to wait their turn for a long while, were bathed and given simple yet clean robes to wear for the festival.

Once they had been cleaned, the procession carried on to the lake.

 

The slaves laid the litters on the ground and the nobles inside stepped out to join in the festivities being held at Lake Nemi. Roxas and his siblings carried the offerings to large tables, and he hid the toga in a bush. He tapped Axel's shoulder and pointed to the bush where the toga was hidden, and Axel nodded in comprehension.

The forest among the lake was filled with the sounds of music and laughter. Children dashed among the thickets, pretending to be the hunting party of Diana. Of course, no one was permitted to kill an animal during the _Nemoralia_ , as it would be disrespectful to the goddess.

Men, women, and slaves alike accompanied each other in dancing, drinking, and feasting. Women and slaves were not often allowed at occasions like these, but it would again be dishonorable to Diana to deny their participation. Women and girls wore flowers in their hair to honor the maiden goddess.

In the middle of the lake, men in boats rowed back and forth across the water.

Axel observed, nearly overwhelmed by all the happiness around him.

"It's nice to have a day off, isn't it?" Larxene appeared behind him, sitting down on the grass. Her cotton robe was already getting soiled from engaging in rowdy activities with the other slaves at the festival, and the flowers in her hair were slipping out.

"Yeah, I forgot how rewarding the _Nemoralia_ really is," Axel sighed. "It's like we can breathe again."

He looked around at some of the other slaves, when his eyes fell upon Saïx, whose masters had just arrived at the celebration.

Axel's blood turned cold, and he hoped Saïx wouldn't notice him.

"My cup is empty..." Larxene pouted. She stood and made her way to the refreshments table, her footsteps a bit clumsy from oncoming drunkenness.

Axel watched as Saïx helped Xion out of the litter, and Roxas approached her. They bowed to each other, and she took his arm to take a stroll.

He looked off in a different direction and found Ventus and Vanitas dancing together drunkenly.

"Fancy seeing you here," Saïx's cold voice said from behind him.

Axel didn't turn to face him. Instead, he studied their reflections on the water's surface.

"I'm not going to engage in conversation with you if you refuse to be friendly." Axel decided.

"I _am_ being friendly; I'm talking to you at all." Saïx pointed out. "Even now you're refusing to return to me?"

"You've made it clear what you think of me, so I've moved on." Axel shrugged.

"How treacherous," Saïx said disapprovingly.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to find something to eat. After all, it's not every day we get a break; I suggest you take this opportunity." Axel stood, parting ways with Saïx.

On his way to pick up the toga from the bushes, he took a large slice of some kind of meat (all meat had been prepared the day before) and chewed on it thoughtfully.

 

 

Axel hid among a secluded set of trees away from the procession while he changed into the toga.

It was much easier to help Roxas into these, but putting it on himself proved more difficult.

He finally achieved in putting it on correctly, but it hung awkwardly on his body. At least no one would see besides Roxas.

_Roxas..._

Would he tell him his feelings now? Axel's heartbeat thudded in his chest at the thought of saying it.

What would he even say? He was starting to doubt his feelings; maybe the way he felt wasn't real at all.

But he remembered their kiss in the early morning, and the one at the lake at dusk.

Yes, his feelings were true, he decided.

The forest began to glow with the light of the candles the procession lit; he would be arriving soon.

As Sol sank underneath the horizon and Luna rose, Axel mumbled senseless words to himself, unsure of what they would even mean.

A figure approached him from the glowing woods, and he was both relieved and frightened when he saw it was Roxas holding a lit candle.

Roxas's eyes widened when he saw Axel in the toga. "You look...amazing."

"But I'm still a slave, I'll never be able to own something as nice as this," Axel held up one of the draped pieces of wool.

"I said I will free you someday." Roxas set the candle on the ground, away from any dry reeds. He joined his hands with Axel's.

"How old are you now?" Axel asked.

"I'm eighteen." Roxas replied. "How old are you?"

"I don't really know, I've never kept track of my age." Axel admitted.

Roxas tilted his head. "You look about nineteen to me. Haven't you ever celebrated a birthday?"

"Of course not," Axel laughed a bit, and Roxas's cheeks reddened. "Oh...sorry, I don't mean to be rude."

"No, it's fine," Roxas assured, "why not?"

"Slaves' birthdays aren't important; we aren't even technically citizens." Axel explained.

"Oh...you can share my birthday with Ventus and me; of course Ventus prefers he and I don't share a birthday, but that's impossible." Roxas laughed a bit at his joke.

"I would love to share a birthday with you." Axel smiled.

_Love..._

"Roxas, I...I need to tell you something." Axel blurted out, his heart fluttering like a bird trapped in a cage.

Roxas looked up and met eyes with him. "What is it?"

"I have made my decision about my feelings..." Axel began.

"Oh...?"

"I...I believe..." His stomach turned. "I...I share the same feelings for you that you have for me."

Roxas's eyes widened. "You...you've made your choice then?"

"Yes. I think of you as something more than my friend. You brought me back to life, Roxas; you've awakened feelings I haven't felt for someone in a long time. I refuse to let our statuses get in the way of our friendship, and whatever else it could be." Axel found himself rambling now.

Roxas's cheeks flushed in Luna's light. "I-I see...Axel..."

"Y-yes?"

Roxas squeezed his hands. "I accept your feelings, and of course I return them to you."

He reached up and brought Axel's face to his, pressing their lips together. Axel leaned down to embrace him.

For the first time in a long while, Axel felt like he truly belonged somewhere, and that was in Roxas's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> \- Cor ad cor loquitur - Heart to heart talk  
> \- Nemoralia - "The Festival of Torches" celebrating the goddess of the hunt Diana, usually held August 13-15; slaves are given the day off to celebrate


	16. Hic Sont Leones

The warmth of summer soon faded away, drifting like the leaves falling from the trees.

Axel no longer wanted to watch the seasons turn alone, and often he no longer had to.

The rainy season came, bringing torrents of rain that washed away any signs of desolation from the dryness of summer.

Deep in Axel's heart he wished he could stop the seasons from changing, dreading the next spring-summer. It would be then that Roxas and Xion would be married, and though the new masters of the household would still live in the villa, Axel would feel like Roxas was gone forever.

In the time they spent together, Roxas had continued teaching Axel to read. At this point, he was able to understand many basic and some complex sentences. Before retiring to bed, Roxas often read aloud to him, and Axel would savor the sound of his voice.

"Axel, I want you to read to me tonight." Roxas decided one night.

Axel's heart thudded. "N-no, I don't think I can..."

"Of course you can, you're a very fast learner." Roxas assured, pushing a scroll toward him.

"But I don't understand what any of the poetry means." Axel insisted.

"You don't have to understand it, just read it." Roxas persisted.

Axel unfurled the scroll, poring over the words. Each word came out like a newborn child's step, shaky and unstable.

"Axel, you're doing great." Roxas placed his hand on Axel's knee.

Axel knit his brows, falling over a word he hadn't seen. Roxas patiently said it for him, and Axel repeated it.

At the end of the poem, Roxas grinned. "You did very well."

Axel blushed and looked away, mumbling, "It was nothing, you taught me all of it..."

Roxas scratched the back of his head shyly.

A knock on the door jarred them from their embarrassment, and Axel jumped to his feet off the bed.

"Roxas, open up." Ventus demanded.

Of course the door was unlocked, and Ventus ignored his own request by opening the it.

"What is it, Ventus?" Roxas sighed, pretending to read the scroll.

"Vanitas and I are meeting up in the _subura_ tonight for a bit of fun out on the town; are you coming along?" Ventus offered, though it sounded more like a demand.

"What? Of course not!" Roxas rolled the scroll back up. "I'm not getting involved in your shenanigans, especially not after the terrible hangover I had after you two got me sickeningly inebriated."

"Oh come on, it'll be fun." Ventus threw an arm around Roxas, shocking him for a moment. "Your slave can come, too."

"What makes you think I want to go anywhere with you and Vanitas, much less the _subura_?" Roxas insisted.

"You need a load off from all this boring studying," Ventus said, "besides, your wedding is in the late spring; don't you want to relish being a bachelor?"

Roxas became discontent at the reminder of his betrothal to Xion, but Ventus didn't notice.

"Of course you do, no man likes being tied down like an animal." Ventus finished.

Axel's mouth twitched at Ventus's words, but of course he didn't take them into consideration.

"How do you plan on getting out?" Roxas mentioned.

"I'm just going to sneak out." Ventus answered as if it should've been obvious.

"You're going to get caught," Roxas sighed.

"Come on, you're so boring. I know you don't want your duties as the future household master, so why don't you just take this time and relish in still being young and free from those duties? You don't even have to pay for a prostitute, just come out with us." Ventus persisted.

Axel could see Ventus had struck a nerve in Roxas, for now he considered the request.

"I suppose I _do_  have to keep you out of trouble..." Roxas said reluctantly.

Ventus grinned. "Great; we sneak out an hour before midnight."

 

As Axel remembered, the walk from the villa to the _subura_ took at least an hour. At midnight they arrived in the city that seemed as if it were half awake.

Vanitas leaned against a building near the entrance to the _subura_ , an impatient expression on his face.

"What took you so long?" He demanded.

"The stick-in-the-mud almost wouldn't come with us," Ventus replied, irritated.

"Why didn't you just leave him at home, then?" Vanitas insisted.

"He needs to just unwind, don't you think? Besides, he's going to be tied down to Xion in the spring, then he won't have any time for us at all." Ventus explained.

"You're lucky to obtain such a young virgin for a wife," Vanitas said to Roxas, "if I were given her hand in marriage, I would be more than thrilled to deflower her." 

Roxas sneered in disgust. "I'm only  here to keep you two out of any legal trouble." 

"Fair enough. Shall we go to _my_ favorite brothel this time?" Ventus offered.

"'This time'?! You've sneaked out more than once?" Roxas's eyes widened.

"Uh, of course...? Seriously Roxas, do you really think I'm as moralistic as you?" Ventus laughed at the absurdity.

"I-I suppose I had hoped you had _some_ rationality..." Roxas admitted.

"Ha, Ventus has _rationality_?" Vanitas cackled. "Anyway, lead the way to your preferred place."

Ventus led them down the streets. Though Axel understood the people drowning in poverty around them, he felt his skin crawl knowing Ventus and Vanitas were here for entertainment and thought nothing of them. Axel averted his eyes, though he knew it was wrong to ignore their silent pleading.

Ventus suddenly stopped walking while Axel had been encased in thought, and he stumbled Roxas, whom stumbled into Ventus.

"Hey, tell your slave to watch where he's going if he doesn't want a whipping." Ventus said. "Here it is."

Axel's breath caught in his throat when he realized this was the same place Terra had taken him months ago when he first found out about his and Aqua's affair. Come to think of it, Terra hadn't come with them to the _subura_...Axel began to panic at the sudden possibility that Terra could be here, and would be very close to getting discovered by his own master.

Ventus yanked the rope that rung the bell for service, and the procurer approached them.

The procurer was a greasy-looking man in about his forties, with hair the color of wet straw and scheming eyes. 

"Evening gentlemen, what can I get for you tonight?" He stepped aside, letting Ventus and Vanitas in. Roxas hung behind Axel, and Axel peered his head inside a bit.

"The usual for me, Vexen," Ventus replied. He glanced at Vanitas. "Actually, I might want to shake it up a bit; I'll take Aqua, as will my friend Vanitas. At the same time, of course; I'll pay extra for the service." 

Roxas sneered in disgust again. 

"What about him?" Vexen nodded to Roxas while counting the coins he had been handed.

"He won't be participating." Ventus stated.

"Alright then. I'll go fetch her." Vexen turned away.

Axel's skin crawled. Was Aqua with Terra right now?

Soon Aqua appeared to escort the two away, when she caught eyes with Axel. Though he knew she would've liked to stay to speak with him, it would've been too suspicious. Instead, they exchanged a brief sympathetic glance. Aqua mouthed the word "stay" to him.

"So Aqua, I turned eighteen in the summer; ready to take it from a real man now?" Ventus boasted.

Axel saw the brief dissatisfaction in Aqua's eyes before she answered, "Of course, Ventus."

The remaining men decided to take a rest near a single fig tree on the other side of the street. Under its wilting branches, they leaned on each other. Axel glanced off in the direction of the brothel, seeing Terra slip out into the alley. He turned to Roxas to see if he had noticed, which he hadn't. 

Roxas's eyelids drooped, and soon he fell asleep on Axel's shoulder. 

 

"Wake up," Ventus ordered, kicking Roxas awake with his sandal.

"H-huh?" Roxas groaned. "Oh, you're done, good. Come on, we gotta get home." He stumbled to his feet.

"Why? The night is still young, we still have so much to do." Ventus insisted. He grabbed Roxas by the tunic and dragged him along. Vanitas followed, looking smug and satisfied.

Axel lagged behind, going back across the street to meet Aqua.

She wrapped a thin shawl around her shoulders when she approached him. "Axel, please tell Terra this: ' _Hic sont leones_ '. He'll understand what it means." 

"What does it mean to him?" Axel asked.

"Aqua, who are you talking to?" A familiar voice asked from inside the brothel.

In the doorway appeared Marluxia, whom Axel recognized immediately from his flowing salmon hair.

"Axel?" He gawked.

"Marluxia," Axel breathed, grinning a bit, "Though I had heard you were in compliance with this, I never thought I'd see you."

"I never thought I'd see you again," Marluxia added. "I suppose you're still working for the man who purchased you?"

"Where else would I be?" Axel joked.

"You seem livelier, though; what happened?" Marluxia asked.

"My new master--my new friend," Axel corrected himself. "Things have turned out surprisingly better than I had expected."

"It's good to see you like this, but you will be punished if you do not return to him. Good luck, Axel." Marluxia nodded, heading back inside.

"Thank you for delivering my message to Terra." Aqua smiled, kissing Axel on the cheek in thanks.

"It's no trouble. Good luck to you." Axel nodded, and he ran off to rejoin Roxas.

 

The party returned before daybreak, and Axel carried Roxas's tired and limp form to his bed. He lay him under his blankets, smoothing his hand over his golden spikes. Smiling, he returned to his own bed in the servants' quarters.

Terra was awake, which surprised him. 

"Aqua said she had a message for you," Axel began. 

"What is it?" Terra asked.

"' _Hic sont leones_ '. She said you'd know what it means." 

Terra nodded, a grin spreading across his face. "I do understand; thank you, Axel." 

"What does it mean?" Axel asked.

"It means that I'll finally be able to leave this hell." Terra grinned.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> \- Hic sont leones - Here be lions, meaning uncharted territory


	17. Respice, Adspice, Prospice

At last, Axel's favorite holiday arrived with the first light flurries of snow: the _Saturnalia_.

As with the _Nemoralia_ , slaves would be given the next six days to celebrate, though the time for rest was longer as the _Nemoralia_ only lasted three days. 

He drew back Roxas's curtains to marvel at the flurries sent down from the early morning sky. 

"What are you so excited about?" Roxas rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"There's snow," Axel replied, "I don't think I've seen snow in such a long time..."

Roxas crept from his bed, drifting over to Axel and wrapping his arms around his torso. "Was there snow in Gaul?"

"Yes, but mostly in the north." Axel nodded. He fondled Roxas's hands in his own.

"There isn't a lot of snow here," Roxas affirmed, "but when there is, it is rare and beautiful."

Roxas squeezed Axel's hands, keeping them warm from the frigidness outside.

 

"The _Saturnalia_ is my least-favorite holiday," Ventus griped during the morning meal.

Instead of lying in his usual place, he stood serving Terra slices of bread. 

"Quit whining, Ven," Roxas sighed, handing Axel a slice of bread.

As customary during the _Saturnalia_ , slaves and their masters swapped roles during the celebration; therefore, Roxas and the other household masters would be serving Axel and the other slaves.

"And to think this will last for _six more days_..." Ventus tilted his head up in exasperation.

"Oh Ventus," Larxene called in a sing-song voice, "could you pour me some more water?" She shook her goblet at him.

Ventus bared his teeth angrily, to which Larxene did the same.

"I'll do it,"Naminé offered, pouring the water into Larxene's goblet.

With is back turned, Roxas hoped no one could see the delight on his face as he gave food to Axel. For this short bliss, Roxas would no longer have to sneak Axel food under the table and in the privacy of their own company.

After the morning meal, the members of the household prepared for the public rituals of the _Saturnalia_. Even the slaves were allowed to dress in nicer robes for the celebration, though many of them had none. Axel had secretly kept Ansem's robe in Roxas's closet since they had borrowed it for the _Nemoralia_ , thus he would wear it at tonight's feast.

The party headed down to the forum, though Naminé was not allowed here as a woman. In her case, she already had duties as a Vestal Virgin to attend to.

In the meanwhile, the slaves still had to prepare the banquets for the next several days. At the very least, they would be able to sit alongside their masters and join them for the feast.

While preparing the meal, a sudden realization came to Axel's mind: for the _Sigillaria_  in the next two days, Axel would have nothing to give Roxas for a gift.

Perhaps he would not have to worry, as he slightly hoped Roxas would not get him anything. Axel expected to be given nothing, but since he and Roxas had become so close in the last several months, he knew Roxas would probably go out of his way to present Axel with something.

"You've got a strange look on your face," Larxene said, snapping Axel out of his mental predicament.

"Oh, i-it's nothing," Axel assured. 

"I bet I'll win in gambling," Larxene mentioned.

"You're already gambling on your victory in gambling?" Axel laughed a bit. "It's all luck, Larxene."

"I have impeccable luck," Larxene boasted.

Axel rolled his eyes playfully. Larxene noticed, and she punched Axel in the arm teasingly.

 

The men soon returned home for the evening feast. Each slave and master sat down at the table together, passing wine and food.

At first, Ventus was not at all pleased by being surrounded by his own slaves whom appeared to be of equal status by sitting with them. However as Ventus became drunk, his dissatisfaction lifted gradually.

Roxas offered the amphora of wine to Axel, and Axel accepted it with a smile. Roxas helped him pour the wine into his goblet, and Axel brought the goblet to his lips. The sourness of the wine prickled on Axel's tongue. Roxas sipped his own wine cautiously, not wanting to become as inebriated as he had when the two kissed for the first time.

Underneath the table, out of sight, the two laced their fingers between one another's.

 

The next day of the _Saturnalia_  was to be spent at the villa of Lord Xaldin where they would have a celebratory feast. 

At dusk, the household members and a few well-dressed slaves--mainly Axel, Terra, and Larxene--traveled to the villa. Larxene had borrowed her toga from the collection of Ansem's late wife, while Terra had borrowed one of Ansem's just as Axel had.  

The three of them were allowed in one litter, though it proved heavy for the slaves carrying it. Axel felt a bit of guilt for the special treatment, but the other slaves didn't mind as they would still be participating in the feast at Lord Xaldin's. 

Already seated in Lord Xaldin's dining hall as guests were General Eraqus and Vanitas, whom offered the seat next to him to Ventus. Roxas took a seat next to Xion, and Axel took the one to the right of Roxas. Across the table, Saïx glared at Axel.

The guests took their places at the table, exchanging a few thanks to the gods for their fortune, and then passing platters of food and amphorae of wine around.

"So Axel, is it?" Xion asked, leaning to have a better view of him while she spoke.

"Yes, my lady." Axel nodded his head a bit.

"We are on equal terms for now, no need to treat me any different." Xion assured.

Axel adjusted his posture. 

"Roxas speaks greatly of you," Xion began, "he's very grateful to have someone so diligent around."

Axel passed a sly grin to Roxas, who attempted to stifle his blushing.

Lord Xaldin silenced the table for a moment, calling for a toast. He raised his goblet and toasted to the gods, and the guests around the table repeated his words.

When the banquet was finished with and the diners overstuffed, they gathered in another room to play games. Larxene went against the men in a gambling game, while Axel watched from a few paces away.

He glanced out of the room, seeing Roxas and Xion exchanging gifts to each other a day early. His stomach coiled into a knot, remembering he didn't have anything to give. He could try his hand at the game, but what use would Roxas have for a few coins and mostly some nuts used for stakes?

"Mind if I join you?" Saïx's voice asked from behind him.

"I suppose," Axel replied.

The two sat in a heavy silence, the only noise being the laughter and music around them.

"I don't blame you for being scared," Saïx began. 

Axel turned his head. "Oh..."

"I shouldn't take it out on you so harshly, I suppose I just thought I'd lost someone I loved. Though I understand now that I have lost him even more." Saïx mumbled.

"What are you talking about? Quit acting like I'm dead." Axel grumbled. 

"Being _dead_ would be less painful," Saïx muttered. "The fact that you are much more alive is what hurts."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Axel growled.

"You don't think I notice what goes on between you and your master? It's not uncommon for masters to use their slaves for sexual favors, but this is rare and almost--unthinkable." Saïx said.

"It's the _Saturnalia_ , why can't we just have a normal conversation without your vile jealousy interrupting?" Axel snapped.

Another thick silence hung between them.

"Uh, Axel?" Roxas's voice appeared from in front of him. "No one's playing _Latrunculi_ right now, I could teach you how to play." 

"Y-yes, that seems fine." Axel stood. He took another glance at Saïx before heading off to play.

Saïx's words pestered him all throughout the game, causing him not to focus very well. 

"Is something wrong?" Roxas asked.

"It's just...Saïx is really jealous, but I don't understand why." Axel admitted toying with the pieces.

"I mean, I can understand it a bit: I give you a lot of special treatment, and to be honest I'd be pretty jealous, too." Roxas explained.

Axel furrowed his brows. "That's not really helping..."

"Sorry..." Roxas moved another piece on the board. 

"It's alright, I'm happier this way anyway. I think about all you've done for me in making me so happy to even be alive, and what it could bring in the future." Axel smiled. 

Roxas blushed, mumbling, "I think about that, too; I've always been so lonely, but now I actually have someone to talk to and play games with."

Axel nodded. "Oh look, I think I've won."

"Umm...no, that's not how you win." Roxas hid a smile behind his hand.

Axel snickered, then let his snickering turn into full-out laughs. "Guess you'll have to teach me again."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> \- Respice, adspice, prospice - Look to the past, look to the present, look to the future
> 
> \- Saturnalia - A festival honoring the god Saturn, much like the Romans' version of Christmas. During the approximately six-day holiday, slaves are given a rest and are allowed on the same status as their masters. 
> 
> \- Sigillaria - The gift-giving period of the Saturnalia
> 
> \- Latrunculi - A board game much like chess


	18. Vinum Et Musica Laetificant Cor

"Good morning," Axel murmured, smoothing a hand through Roxas's spikes.

"Good morning," Roxas groaned, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He sat up, reaching out for Axel's embrace. Axel sat on the bed and embraced him, running a hand through Roxas's hair.

"I have a _Saturnalia_ present for you." Roxas let go and reached over the side of the bed, pulling out a neatly-folded new toga.

Axel's heart dropped into his stomach. "B-but I didn't get you anything," he stammered.

"Don't worry about it, just take it." Roxas smiled. "Naminé made it for Father, but she made a mistake on the size. I think it will fit you, though."

Axel drifted over to the mirror, unfolding the toga to try it on. It took a moment for him to put it on, and when he finished he turned to face Roxas. "How do I look?"

"Like...like a god..." Roxas mumbled.

Axel found his statement ridiculous and burst into laughter. Roxas blushed, turning his head aside.

"I'm not fit to be a god," Axel said, "but thank you. It fits perfectly and I love it."

"You look great in it." Roxas slipped out of bed and shuffled over to him, embracing him again. 

"I didn't get you anything," Axel repeated.

"Your company and your love is enough," Roxas murmured. 

"But I have to give you _something_." Axel insisted. "Isn't there _anything_ I could give you?"

Roxas shifted his weight on his feet. "Um...do you want to go down to the town later to see what's going on for the _Saturnalia_?" 

"I suppose..." Axel replied, seeing the odd embarrassment Roxas seemed to possess. 

"I have to get in the bath before the morning meal," Roxas said, "would...would you care to join me?"

"In the bath...?" Axel questioned. 

Roxas shifted again. "Yeah..." 

"Why?" Axel found himself laughing a bit, though Roxas seemed completely serious.

"Because..." Roxas mumbled. 

"Do you want to see me naked?" Axel smirked. "Is that what you want for your _Saturnalia_ present?"

"Maybe...well, part of it..." Roxas admitted. "Come on, before anyone sees."

Roxas grabbed Axel's toga, pulling him into the bathing chamber down the hall.

Axel pumped the water into the bath, waiting for it to heat. He stripped his new toga off slowly, not by choice but more by circumstance since it had been so difficult to put on. Roxas fidgeted on the spot.

"What's the matter?" Axel teased in a low voice.

"Please don't talk!" Roxas shrieked suddenly.

Axel raised an eyebrow and helped Roxas undress. "I don't understand, you're never this shy when I dress you for the day."

"B-because I'm not fully naked in front of you and you're not fully naked in front of me!" Roxas squeaked. 

Axel chuckled. "I'm not really staring, but I will if you want me to."

"No! I mean...only if I can stare at you..." Roxas said.

He turned to face him, and they stood nude in front of one another. Silence hung in the air like humidity, and Axel's cheeks burned. 

"I-I'm going to get in the bath now." Roxas decided, slipping into the water. Axel joined him, relaxing in the large tub.

The two of them sat in the water, still silent. 

"I suppose I could get you something while we're out today, but then again I don't have any money." Axel mentioned. "Oh, I _do_ have that _solidus_ you gave me; I could spend it on your _Saturnalia_ gift."

"No, you don't have to do that." Roxas insisted. "I want you to spend that _solidus_ on something that matters."

"But that matters to me." Axel stated.

"Something important," Roxas decided.

"That _is_ important."

Roxas groaned. "Please, I don't want you to spend the _solidus_ on me; I already have enough meaningless objects, I just want your company."

Axel sighed. "Alright. Then we'll just go to town to enjoy the _Saturnalia_." 

Roxas nodded, closing his eyes. 

 

After their morning meal together, Roxas and Axel took a walk down to the town rather than being escorted. When they were out of sight, they linked their fingers between each other's to keep their hands warm. 

The snow had melted, but new flurries now sprinkled themselves upon them as they strolled. 

In the bustling city, music from a small band wafted through the air. Surrounding them were large groups of people dancing and laughing.

Roxas tugged Axel's sleeve, pulling him into the fray and whirling around with him. Axel, never having danced before, found each movement jerky and dizzying. He tripped over his own foot, pulling Roxas closer to him as he fell. Roxas landed on Axel's chest, staring down at him in surprise. Blush spread across their faces, and they chuckled shyly.

Roxas hoisted himself to his feet, and held out his hand for Axel to take. Though Axel was much heavier than he appeared, Roxas managed to pull him to his feet.

The two wandered to the edge of the river running through the city, stopping to purchase a small amphora of wine to warm themselves. They sat at the frigid water's edge, pouring each other a goblet full. 

"I'm really grateful I was able to meet you," Roxas said, smiling into his goblet. 

"As am I," Axel agreed. He raised his goblet. "To--whatever brought us together."

"I toast to that." Roxas clinked his goblet against Axel's and they took a swig. 

In the blissful silence, Axel watched the river flow by. "You know, I haven't had the dream about Isa drowning since the day I reunited with him; I decided to put you above him, and now I sleep soundly." 

"I'm glad to hear that," Roxas replied cheerfully.

"I'm sorry you were so alone before me," Axel said solemnly.

"It wasn't very long that I had to wait for you to come along. I thought about you since the first time I saw you in the arena during battle. I admired you so..." Roxas mused. "I cannot wait for the day which I free you from slavery."

"But when I am free, I will no longer be with you since you will have Lady Xion to keep you company." Axel remembered.

"Yes...but I will know you're free and happy." Roxas suggested.

"I won't be as happy if I'm not with you; sometimes I believe I'd rather stay in slavery if it meant to be close to you." Axel admitted.

Roxas stared at him directly. "Y-you don't really mean that..."

"I do sometimes," Axel affirmed.

"That means so much, that you would sacrifice freedom just to be with me...but that makes me even more determined to set you free." Roxas stated.

"I want to be free _with_ you," Axel insisted. 

"As do I, and I understand Xion wants to continue to postpone the marriage until she has developed feelings. I desperately wish for some way to make everyone happy..." Roxas sighed. 

A brief silence settled around them, then Axel asked, "Are you _absolutely_ sure you do not want me to give you something for the _Saturnalia_?"

Roxas's lip quivered the way it used to when he had something important to say.

Axel raised an eyebrow. "Hm?"

"Well, I haven't been honest with you..." Roxas spoke slowly, "but I _do_ want something from you..."

"Did you see it in the city? I can still get it if we have time--" Axel began, but Roxas interrupted him. 

"I-it's not something you can buy--well, I suppose you could buy it--but not something you can own..." Roxas fidgeted slightly.

"Roxas...?" Axel demanded softly. "What is it?"

Roxas's answer stumbled out of his mouth, "I-I want to have sex with you." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> \- Vinum et musica laetificant cor - Wine and music gladden the heart


	19. Carissimi

Axel's heartbeat fluttered like a trapped bird. He found himself laughing out of nervousness. "I-is that really what you want from me?"

"Y-yes," Roxas admitted. "I-I mean, I won't do it with you unless you want to do it."

"If that's what you want for your _Saturnalia_ gift." Axel shrugged. 

"No, that's not an answer..." Roxas mumbled. "Do you want to have sex with me?" His cheeks flushed. "It sounds so embarrassing to ask but I have to..."

"You don't really have to ask..." Axel mentioned.

"But I'm not going to do it unless I know for sure you want to, and not just because you owe me something. This is more than an exchange, I want to do it because I love you." Roxas's eyes widened as he realized he had never said the words out loud. He slapped a hand over his mouth.

"I-I...I love you, too." Axel murmured. He thought for a moment. "Yes,  I want to do it with you."

"A-alright...right now?" Roxas asked. He rose to his trembling feet, holding out his hand for Axel to take again. Axel took it, his knees also feeling a bit weak. 

The two turned their back on the river, leaving behind the amphora as they strolled anxiously to the house.

 

They returned to an empty house, the eerie silence crawling under their skin. Near the door, Ansem had left a note: "We've been summoned by General Eraqus for a _Saturnalia_ banquet; I understand you do not get along well with Vanitas, so I have excused you. Naminé is with us as well. Please take care tonight."

"I-I suppose we have the house to ourselves," Roxas stammered. "At least no one will know what we're up to..."

Axel nodded, his footsteps to Roxas's chamber lagging. His head swam faster with each footstep, thinking about the reality of the situation. He recalled the words Larxene had given him when he had asked months ago how two men would copulate, and he cringed noticeably.

"Is something wrong? We really don't have to do this if you don't want to." Roxas said quickly with one hand on the doorknob.

"I-it's alright, I promise. You know how this works, right...?" Axel asked.

"Well, I asked Ventus a long time ago since he does it with Terra so often. He told me everything, regardless of if I actually wanted to know." Roxas explained.

"Alright." Axel swallowed thickly as the door creaked open.

They stepped inside, and for once the chamber felt cold and unfamiliar to him. The door creaked as it swung shut, and Roxas hurried over to his desk. He scribbled a note reading, "I have retired early from eating too much for dinner, as I have contracted a stomachache. Please do not disturb me." 

"How suspicious does this sound to you?" Roxas read the note aloud to Axel.

"Not too suspicious." Axel decided.

Roxas slipped the note under the door and sat on the bed. "S-so..." 

"How does this usually start?" Axel wondered.

"Ventus always says it's just kind of instinct, and it carries him through the entire thing..." Roxas said.

"Why don't we start with a kiss?" Axel suggested, sitting on the bed and leaning forward. 

Roxas's fingers crept into Axel's hair, pulling him closer. Roxas lay down, kicking off his sandals and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Axel kicked his sandals off as well, and crawled closer to Roxas. 

Roxas's arms wrapped around Axel's back, pulling him in. Axel gasped for a slight breath, but Roxas immediately captured his lips again.

With their faces so close together, Axel could feel the heat radiating off Roxas's body. It seemed to float up from Roxas's face and stick to Axel's. 

"C-can we switch places...?" Roxas whispered in a hoarse voice. 

"Of course." Axel replied, his voice also a bit strained. He plopped onto the bed, and Roxas shifted so he hovered over him. "H-hey, your bed is pretty soft..."

"Th-thanks," Roxas stuttered. He closed his eyes and leaned in again, pressing his lips softly to Axel's.

Axel melted away into the sensation, his surroundings vanishing. All he could feel was Roxas. 

Roxas's slim fingers combed through Axel's unruly hair, so gentle and soft. Axel's arms wrapped around Roxas's thin shoulders, embracing him and refusing to let go.

Roxas's lips moved down from Axel's lips, stamping his jaw and neck. At Axel's neck, Roxas stopped to gently suck on him. A slight surprised noise bubbled up from Axel's throat, and he felt embarrassed to even have produced such a noise. It startled Roxas and he stopped.

"Do you want me to stop?" He murmured.

"No, keep going; I-I just got a little surprised, that's all..." Axel replied. 

Roxas pressed his lips to Axel's neck again, licking it softly, savoring the taste of Axel's skin.

Near his chest, Axel could feel Roxas's eager hands picking at Axel's toga. "D-do you want me to take this off?" 

"C-can you?" Roxas agreed.

While he continued to leave purplish-pink circles on Axel's neck, Axel slowly removed the toga layer by layer. He wished not to tease the eager boy by stripping so slowly, but the toga was meticulously difficult to remove. 

The last layer of wool fell away, revealing Axel's bare chest. He still wore a loincloth to cover up, but underneath Roxas he felt exposed. Even when Ansem had examined him months ago, he did not feel as ashamed to exist.

"You're beautiful, Axel," Roxas whispered in his ear, his hot breath tickling. 

"A-are you going to undress, too?" Axel asked.

Roxas recoiled slowly, sitting back and undoing his toga. Axel watched as he fiddled with each layer of wool, letting it fall away slowly like the petals of a flower as they floated away on a breeze to reveal the fresh fruit on the tree. 

Despite the fact they had seen each other completely naked just that morning, the two felt like they had seen the other this way for first time. 

"You're beautiful too," Axel mumbled.

"Thank you..." Roxas said breathlessly. He spread himself over Axel again, leaning in for more kisses.

Their lips moved in sync, pushing and recoiling to match the other's movements. 

Very faintly, Roxas ran his tongue along Axel's bottom lip. Surprised, Axel opened his mouth a bit wider, and Roxas took this as an invitation to slip his tongue inside Axel's mouth. 

Axel's eyes snapped open, and he froze underneath Roxas. Roxas drew away quickly, rapidly stammering an apology.

"N-no, it's alright, I was surprised. I...I want to do that again. I'll get used to it." Axel found himself nervously begging for the sensation again.

Roxas nodded, returning to his position over Axel. Their lips collided again, this time more desperate for the other's touch. When their lips moved in sync again, Roxas licked Axel's bottom lip again. Axel parted his lips, and Roxas slipped his tongue inside. 

Roxas's tongue caressed the inside of Axel's mouth, and Axel's head spun. He could feel the sensation of his body liquefying and dripping away.

Axel felt Roxas's delicate touch sliding over his pectoral muscle, brushing over his nipple. Axel gasped at the touch, feeling as if he would almost choke on Roxas's tongue. Roxas continued to stroke the sensitive area on Axel's chest, and the pit of Axel's stomach sparked with some sort of pleasure he had never felt before.

Roxas plopped down in Axel's lap, very slightly scooting his bottom over Axel's crotch. His motions caused Axel's _multinium_ to perk up, and Axel gripped Roxas's upper arms. 

Roxas shifted again, lying next to Axel now. One of Roxas's hands slipped to the back of Axel's head while he continued to kiss him, and the other crept down Axel's abdomen and underneath his loincloth.

Axel gasped again, feeling Roxas's touch. The strange pleasure ignited inside him again. 

Roxas's slightly-trembling hand slid down Axel's length, then slid back up. Reaching the tip, Roxas rubbed his thumb over the smoothness. Another noise rose from deep inside Axel, coming out from the shock and from the pleasure. 

Roxas continued this, while the pit of Axel's stomach churned. Axel's _multinium_ grew slick and slippery from the odd fluid dripping from the tip. The intense pleasure curled up inside him, building up until it threatened to burst. 

"R-Roxas.... _ahh_...stop..." Axel begged, gripping Roxas's arm.

"What's wrong?" Roxas pulled his hand away, but the sensation of his touch lingered.

"I-I-I'm going to explode if you keep doing that..." Axel sighed. 

"Oh...it's alright, that's supposed to happen." Roxas assured, and Axel's eyes widened. "You'll be alright, it won't hurt. It feels good. Do you want to stop doing this?"

Axel looked down at his erect length, which begged for Roxas's touch again. "N-no, keep going."

"W-well I can start preparing you for the real thing..." Roxas offered.

"Preparing me...?" 

"Um...can I take this off?" Roxas tugged on Axel's loincloth.

"Y-yes..." Axel fiddled with the knots until they fell apart, and Axel slid the cloth off. 

Now that he was fully exposed, he felt even dirtier and ashamed for his existence. Axel's face felt like a blazing fire.

"You're still a god to me," Roxas murmured, kissing behind Axel's ear. Axel shuddered, Roxas's hot breath dancing down his spine.

Roxas reached over the side of the bed, producing the perfume bottle filled with olive oil.

"Wh-what are you going to do...?" Axel demanded.

"I have to slide my fingers inside you first to relax your muscles, otherwise it will hurt a lot more." Roxas explained. "Do you want to stop?"

"You don't have to keep asking that," Axel mumbled.

"Yes, I do. I'm not going to do any of this until you tell me 'yes' or 'no'." Roxas stated. 

"Why do you keep asking?" Axel wondered.

"Because I don't want to hurt you." Roxas replied. 

Axel took a moment to think again. "How badly is it going to hurt...?"

"It won't hurt as badly if I use a lot of the oil." Roxas answered. 

"...Alright then, you can do it." Axel agreed.

Roxas placed his hand on Axel's trembling leg, pushing it upward by the shin and exposing Axel's _podex_  to his view. Axel's face became a blazing inferno, and he looked up toward the ceiling to concentrate on the swirling patterns. 

Spreading one hand out, Roxas poured some of the oil over his fingers. He positioned one at Axel's entrance, hesitating.

"A-are you going to do it?" Axel wondered, still staring at the ceiling.

Using this as a cue, Roxas slipped one finger inside. 

"Aahh..." Axel groaned, feeling the cool slickness inside him. Upon its entrance, Roxas's finger pressed against a spot that made the churning in Axel's core occur again. Axel instinctively wanted to tighten up around Roxas's finger, but part of him knew better.

Axel closed his eyes, the ceiling becoming too difficult to focus on.

Roxas leaned in again and joined their lips. Axel's shaking hands tangled into Roxas's hair as Roxas continued to wiggle his finger around inside.

Soon, Roxas slipped another finger inside him, and Axel's grip on Roxas's hair tightened. Roxas stamped his kisses down to Axel's neck and took up leaving the purplish spots on Axel's skin again. The slave collar chafed around Axel's throat, and he desperately wished it could be ripped off him right there. 

A third finger joined inside Axel, and this time there was a sharp stinging. Axel groaned, but as Roxas stroked inside him, the pain lessened. It didn't feel like Axel's muscles were relaxing, since everything else felt extremely tense. 

Roxas slid his fingers out and murmured, "Are you ready for the real thing?"

"Y-yes..." Axel breathed.

Roxas unfastened the knots at his loincloth, letting it fall away to reveal his erect _multinium_. Axel gasped at the sight of it. 

"S-sorry, is it too small...?" Roxas wondered, chuckling a bit.

"O-of course not, I'm just nervous..." Axel admitted. "C-can I touch you...?"

"Yes."

Axel sat up, reaching out for him.

"Wait, while you touch me you can put this on me." Roxas reached for the oil, handing it to him.

"Alright." Axel poured a small pool of oil in the palm of his hand, and reached out to Roxas's length. He stroked his hand along the smooth skin, coating it in the oil.

Roxas bit his lip to stifle the soft noises coming from inside him. Axel's core ignited with each noise and gasp that came from Roxas's mouth. 

"It's alright, let your voice out..." Axel pleaded softly.

Roxas let go of his lip and immediately a moan burst from him. _"Aahh!"_

Axel bit his lip now, his desire for Roxas growing. Roxas's knuckles paled as he gripped onto Axel's hair, and soon Axel pulled away. 

"I-I guess I'm ready now." Axel said, lying back.

Roxas lowered himself on Axel, poking around until he found the entrance again. One hand propped him up, the other hand rested on Axel's shin.

"Ready?" Roxas murmured.

"Yes," Axel replied.

Roxas pushed the tip inside, groaning from the tightness. Axel's breath caught in his throat as the stinging returned, much more intense from three fingers. Axel's fingernails dug into Roxas's back, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

Roxas continued pushing until the head was buried in Axel's _podex_ , and the rest of the length glided in. Fully inside, the two of them let out their held breaths.

"S-so this is it then? I suppose I expected more to it." Axel admitted.

"There is more," Roxas assured. "C-can I move?" 

"Move how?" Axel wondered. 

"I-I can't really explain it, I'll just have to show you; is that alright?" Roxas asked.

"I-I suppose..." Axel replied hesitantly. 

Roxas pulled his hips back, dragging himself out a bit, and then pushing his hips back in. "L-like that..."

During that brief movement, Axel had felt the pleasure ripple through him again. His desire increased, begging for more. "Yes, go ahead, please..."

Roxas pulled himself back again, and thrust his hips into Axel again...and again...and again...

Axel tilted his head back, the patterns on the ceiling mixing as his head spun. His mouth hung open, letting his unrestrained voice out.

Roxas grunted with each thrust, and he bent down to kiss Axel again. Axel wrapped his lanky limbs around Roxas's thin body, encompassing him. Their lips met, stifling their moans and mixing their breathing.

Roxas's hand drifted down toward Axel's length again, curling around it and stroking it again. Axel tore his mouth away as he tilted his head back, moaning louder.

 _"R-Roxas..."_ Axel uttered, not understanding why he felt the need to say his lover's name.

"Y-yeah?" Roxas grunted in response. He sped up, the sound of their slick skin slapping together growing louder.

"I... _ngh, ahh_...I don't know..." Axel replied, gripping onto Roxas's sweaty skin.

The pleasure built in Axel's core, thrashing and coiling like a live animal inside him. Once again, he felt himself on the edge of release. Axel clenched his teeth and eyes.

"Axel...I'm c-c..." Roxas groaned, moving his hand on Axel's _multinium_ faster.

"What?" Axel questioned, but then it happened.

The pleasure that had grown and fortified itself in Axel's core released itself in waves rippling through his body. He threw his head back, his eyes rolling back before he clenched them shut again. Warm whitish fluid spilled out of him onto his chest.

 _"Ahh...Axel!"_ Roxas cried, throwing his head back and shouting his lover's name to the skies. Inside his _podex_ , Roxas released his white fluid. Once the last bit of fluid spurted out, he slipped out of Axel.

Their bodies trembled with the last few pleasurable waves rippling through them, and Roxas collapsed onto Axel's sticky chest. The breaths they could barely take rattled in their lungs. Axel's heart threatened to escape from his ribcage.

Axel wrapped his arms around Roxas, and Roxas rested his head on Axel's heart.

"I love you," Roxas sighed. 

"I love you, too," Axel whispered back. 

Roxas stroked Axel's cheek, running his thumb over Axel's tattoo. "I want to be with you forever. Please, never forget me."

"I won't, as long as you always remember me." Axel agreed.

"I promise." Roxas murmured, closing his eyes. 

Content, Axel closed his eyes as well, drifting off to sleep in his lover's embrace. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> \- Carissimi - Dearly beloved   
> \- Multinium - Penis


	20. Ubi Amor, Ibi Dolor

Axel's eyes fluttered open to find Roxas sleeping soundly beside him. Smiling, he reached over and stroked Roxas's blond head.

He had given this young man everything, and in return had received everything he could've asked for.

Roxas's eyes slowly opened, and a smile spread across his face. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Axel murmured. He kissed Roxas's forehead sweetly.

"Did you sleep well?" Roxas wondered, reaching his arm around Axel's waist.

"Yes, did you?"

Roxas nodded. "It's pretty easy to fall asleep after having sex..."

Axel chuckled and shifted, and an aching pain spread through his lower back. He scrunched his face in pain.

"Is something wrong?" Roxas asked quickly.

"My _podex_ hurts a little..." Axel chuckled again, trying not to move.

"Oh, I'm sorry..." Roxas replied in embarrassment. "I suppose I went too rough..."

"No, it felt fine when we did it; it must just hurt either way." Axel assured. "Today's the last day of the _Saturnalia_ , how should we celebrate?"

"I would prefer to just remain in bed all day," Roxas yawned.

"I agree." Axel pulled Roxas closer, and Roxas curled up into Axel's warmth. "Do you really _love_ me?"

Roxas looked up into Axel's eyes. "Of course I do."

Axel smiled instinctively.

A harsh rapping on the door jolted the two of them out of their content. Axel rolled off the bed and hid behind it. In his quick movement, his lower back ached.

"C-come in," Roxas stammered.

The door swung open, and Ventus stood in the doorway.

"Oh, Ventus, good morning. What time did you return home?" Roxas asked, glancing over the bed to see where Axel had fallen.

"It was very late," Ventus answered bluntly, "are you aware that both of our personal slaves are missing?"

"H-huh?" Roxas widened his eyes in surprise. Terra was missing?

"Terra and--whatever your slave's name is--are gone." Ventus stated.

"Oh, he's probably just out celebrating; I'd give him about a day to return. Besides, if he's still missing tomorrow, someone will bring him back." Roxas assured. "Axel's probably out with him."

"Mm, alright..." Ventus turned away, closing the door behind him.

Axel stood up, tying his loincloth around his hips again.

"So Terra hasn't returned yet..." Roxas mumbled thoughtfully.

Axel's stomach turned, realizing Terra probably used the _Saturnalia_ to his advantage to escape.

"Is something wrong?" Roxas asked.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. I just hope he's alright, not too drunk out of his mind." Axel replied.

"I suppose we should bathe again." Roxas mentioned. "I feel sticky."

Axel chuckled lightly, heading to the door.

Roxas tied his loincloth around his hips loosely, and ambled down the hall toward the bath.

 

The last day of the _Saturnalia_ passed by quickly, but Terra did not return, nor did someone bring him to the house.

Guilt settled in Axel's stomach, knowing he would have to tell someone where Terra went.

During the last feast, Ventus did not ingest much wine. No one had ever seen him behave so neatly.

"Terra still had his collar, so it shouldn't be long if he's found." Ansem assured.

"Yes, of course," Ventus muttered.

Silence fell over them. It chafed against Axel's skin, urging for him to spill his secret.

He stood abruptly, and all eyes turned to him.

"Th-thank you for the feast, and for letting me sit among you like your equal, Ansem."  Axel bowed his head. "May I be excused?"

"You may," Ansem replied.

Roxas also stood, "May I also be excused, Father?"

"Of course. Goodnight, Roxas." He nodded.

Axel wandered down the hall, wanting to get away before he burst out of guilt. Roxas grabbed his wrist, and he halted.

"Axel, what's wrong?" He demanded.

Axel couldn't lie to him, it would be unthinkable.

He turned slowly, closing his eyes. "I know where Terra went."

"Really? Where?" Roxas asked, his tone changing and his grip lessening until it fell away.

"He ran away with that prostitute Aqua. They had...they had an affair going on, and after Aqua had saved up enough money, she told me to deliver the message to Terra that they could run away." Axel explained.

Roxas knit his brows. "I didn't realize...so he'll never come back as long as he's not caught?"

"No, I doubt it." Axel replied.

"Do you think he'll get caught?"

Axel thought for a moment. Terra had seemed crafty enough. "No."

"What do we tell Ventus?" Roxas wondered.

Axel sighed. "I...I hate to tell you to lie to your brother, but I wouldn't tell him anything."

 

The guilt still settled in the pit of Axel's stomach like dirt at the bottom of a lake. It kept him awake in the late hours of the night.

He stared at Terra's empty bed, wondering why Ventus had acted completely different to the news of Terra's disappearance.

In the hall, Axel heard movement. He crept to the door, wondering if he had only heard a mouse. His instinct told him otherwise.

Creeping across the atrium with a hastily-made rucksack was Ventus.

Axel's mind suddenly flashed back to that dream he had had about the shards of the mirror, one shard in which he had seen a figure looking back on his home while running away.

He had half a mind to grab Ventus and hiss at him what he was thinking, and spill the truth to him harshly. The other half knew his place and knew Ventus would punish him for being out of bed and for touching him unsolicitedly.

Instead, Axel watched Ventus creep across the floor. He could barely see Ventus's face in the moonlight, the boy's brows knit in frustration.

Before Axel could turn away, a shadowy figure crept up behind Ventus and slapped his hand over Ventus's mouth.

Ventus screamed into the hand, thrashing wildly, but the figure held onto him.

The figure whispered something in Ventus's ear, and Ventus thrashed harder.

The figure finally slammed Ventus against the wall, only inches away from the door where Axel hid, listening.

"Ventus, calm down! Please! I just want to talk!" The figure's voice whispered.

Axel realized the figure was Roxas, judging by his hushed voice.

"What the hell do you want to talk to me for, I'm busy!" Ventus hissed.

Though their voices were similar, Axel had grown so used to Roxas's that he could tell them apart even whispering.

"What are you doing up so late, and why are you carrying your belongings?" Roxas demanded.

"None of your damn business, Roxas!" Ventus insisted.

"Please Ventus, I'm not going to tell anyone. We're twins, not strangers. Just tell me." Roxas pleaded.

Ventus wavered for a moment. "I'm running away, what does it look like?"

"Why? Where are you going?"

"Isn't my answer enough?" Ventus spat.

"No," Roxas replied haughtily.

"I hate you," Ventus sneered.

"Ventus, please just tell me. I promise I won't tell Father or anyone else." Roxas begged.

Ventus wavered again, his silence longer this time. "I'm going to go find Terra."

"What for?"

"You wouldn't understand." Ventus persisted.

"I think I understand more than you believe." Roxas stated.

Ventus's silence lasted the longest this time. "I love him. I can't live without his company. He's more than a slave to me, but...I don't know how to say that. I...I'm probably the reason he ran away. He's probably never coming back, but I...I thought maybe..."

"Maybe what?" Roxas asked patiently.

"I thought I could tell him the truth and he'd come back, wherever he is." Ventus replied.

Axel was taken aback at this sudden change in Ventus's demeanor. He supposed love really could change the way a person acted.

"Is all this true?" Roxas wondered after taking in Ventus's words.

"I...I wouldn't lie about this." Ventus replied. "As stupid and awful as it may seem..."

"I believe you." Roxas assured. "I just never imagined..."

"What, that I even have feelings?" Ventus snapped.

"No, just that...just that you could care about someone as simple as your slave." Roxas decided, choosing his words carefully.

"Well I can," Ventus replied gruffly. "It's probably not uncommon, I know you and your slave seem to have a very strong bond."

Roxas chuckled lightly, and Axel's heart fluttered.

"Are we done? I really want to go find him." Ventus said.

"I...I'm afraid not..." Roxas faltered.

Axel's heart skipped. Would Roxas tell him now? The brothers had never seemed so close, it seemed like a shame to accidentally break their bond.

"Why? You're going to force me to stay when I've shared my deepest thoughts with you?" Ventus challenged.

"Please, let's go back to your room. I have some...unfortunate news about Terra..." Roxas replied.

"What, why can't you just tell me here?" Ventus asked.

"I really think you should sit down." Roxas said.

"I'm not weak, Roxas; what is it you have to say?" Ventus persisted.

Roxas sighed. "Terra ran away with Aqua. They had an affair going on and had planned to run away together."

There was nothing but silence, until Ventus's nervous chuckling broke through.

"You're joking, right? There's no way...no, you've got to be joking..." Ventus muttered.

"I'm afraid it's true; she had told me to deliver the message to Terra that they could be free." Roxas said.

So he had taken the blame for Axel's burden. Axel should've felt grateful, but he felt even guiltier.

"No...I refuse to believe you." Ventus said.

There were footsteps, which indicated Ventus was going to leave, but Roxas grabbed him.

"Ventus it's true, I'm sorry." Roxas admitted.

"No, you're wrong! I'll find him and bring him back, just let me go!" Ventus's voice was rising now.

"Ventus, listen to me!" Roxas begged.

"Get off me!" Ventus shouted, now hiccuping with unmistakable sobs. "Terra!"

"Ventus I'm so sorry..." Roxas faltered.

Axel heard some sort of plopping noise, and he looked to see both twins on their knees.

"Terra..." Ventus mumbled, tears rolling down his face.

Roxas embraced his brother, letting him weep into Roxas's shoulder.

"You betrayed me, Roxas...you took Terra from me..." Ventus sneered.

"I know, I'm sorry..." Roxas replied softly, stroking Ventus's back.

"Sorry won't cut it; I'll never forgive you." Ventus muttered.

"I know...it is inevitable..." Roxas admitted.

"I hate you." Ventus growled.

Still, he let himself be held by his brother while he wept until morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations  
> \- Ubi Amor, Ibi Dolor - Where there is love, there is pain  
> \- Podex - Ass


	21. Aut Disce Aut Discede

From the night he had declared his unforgiving feelings, Ventus only spoke very curtly to Roxas.

Around them, Axel constantly felt like a rock had settled in his stomach. Because of this, he had returned to restlessness. In his sleep, he had dreams of more figures and their actions. When he woke, he dreaded to discover who the figures in his nightmares would become.

The heavy rains would pass, sometimes turning to snow when the coldness outside grew. Axel watched the storms roll by from Roxas's bedroom. They had not been completely alone since the _Saturnalia_ , and Axel longed for the heat of Roxas's body once more. 

"You couldn't have kept that secret forever; I don't blame you for still feeling guilty." Roxas murmured to Axel one dreary day. Sol was so hidden by the thick clouds that Axel could not even tell what time of day it was. 

Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel's waist, but his touch could not satisfy Axel's desire. Still, Axel squeezed Roxas's hands.

"It's not about that anymore," Axel sighed, "I have dreams every night about people doing terrible things. I see death, I see more runaways...and the worst part is I don't even know who the people will be until it happens..."

"I see how that would trouble you," Roxas agreed. "Things will get better, I know they will..."

Axel could hear in Roxas's tone that he wasn't sure, especially with the season coming close to turning and the wedding approaching.

"I'll feel wrong to continue to love you when you've married Xion," Axel mentioned.

"Why would you feel that way? Xion doesn't truly love me, and clearly I don't love her." Roxas pointed out.

"It'll just feel wrong to me," Axel decided. 

Roxas stared at the floor. "I want a way out of this marriage, but with the days passing by I find it harder to worm my way out..."

"It's not as simple as just calling it off?" Axel asked with a hint of jesting in his tone.

"I wish," Roxas scoffed.

 

The light behind the clouds soon faded, indicating nightfall. The clouds gave way one last time to shower the world below in cold rain.

Axel watched the droplets splatter against the window, and he bowed his head in sadness. Another day passing by him, another day closer to losing Roxas.

"Please don't look so sad," Roxas mumbled, "it makes me sad."

"I can't help it; I _am_ sad." Axel replied.

Roxas drifted over from his bed and embraced Axel again, burying his face in Axel's back. Axel felt a warm wetness sliding down his skin, and he realized Roxas was crying.

Axel's heart twisted, and tears formed at the corners of his eyes. He felt like a giant sponge being squeezed until the liquid inside him spilled out. 

He whirled around, dropping to his knees and gripping onto Roxas as if he were to slip away at any moment.

"Don't cry," Axel laughed weakly, "it won't be so bad..."

"What won't, losing you? I can't be lonely again, I just can't..." Roxas buried his head into Axel's shoulder.

"We should just be happy we're both here right now. We're safe in each other's arms..." Axel said, stroking Roxas's hair.

"I-I suppose..." Roxas sniffed, lifting his head. "I really love you, Axel. I didn't think that was a real feeling before you..."

"I love you too, Roxas." Axel managed a faint smile. He closed his eyes and guided Roxas's lips to his. 

 

Axel woke from another fitful night, his dreams throwing him into reality. In his dream, a figure desperately pounded on a door in front of them, begging for admittance. Axel barely recognized the door as the one to the house before being ripped out of sleep. As for the figure, even the voice was distorted to become unrecognizable.

In the silence of the night, he could only hear the harsh rain pattering against the house. But very faintly, he heard a noise like...someone banging on the door.

Axel felt as if one of Jupiter's thunderbolts had struck him, and the shock coursed through his body. The dream was coming true now. Who would be here at this hour, though?

He crept to the door, listening to the pounding outside. The banging was weak, as if the person behind the door had small hands. The muffled voice shouted, "Please, let me in! Roxas, Lord Ansem, somebody!" 

He ripped the door open, and standing before him drenched from the rain was...

"Lady Xion?" Axel asked, and rushed to bowing to her.

"Forget my status, please let me in..." She begged.

Axel stepped aside, letting the poor girl inside. He closed the door behind them.

"Lady Xion, what brings you here at this hour? And...alone?" Axel asked.

"I-it's not important," Xion said dismissively. Her teeth chattered, and she shivered. Every piece of clothing appeared soaked.

"I'll fetch you a blanket, and start up the fire." Axel offered. He rushed her over to the kitchen, lighting one of the stoves and finding a wool blanket in the storage room. He flung the blanket over her, though she really needed to change out of her wet garments.

"Axel, what in Jupiter's name is going on in here...?" Larxene grumbled, rubbing her eyes. She blinked the focus into them, finding the two huddled in the kitchen. "Is that...Lady Xion?" 

Larxene quickly bowed, but Xion shook her head in dismissal. 

"You're soaking wet; you must change out of those garments." Larxene insisted.

"I have no clothes to change into," Xion said. 

"Perhaps Mistress Naminé will loan some of hers." Larxene said, rushing off. She disappeared before Axel could warn her about the time of night, and how it would be rude to wake the masters at this hour.

In a few moments, Axel heard footsteps, though it sounded like more people had awoken. Axel's stomach turned, fearing punishment.

Naminé arrived, holding some fresh garments for Xion to change into. Behind her stood a bewildered Roxas.

"Xion, what are you doing here? Why are you out all alone?" Roxas urged, rushing to her side.

"Roxas..." Xion wept into her hands. "I ran away."

"What for?" Roxas took her hands, but she recoiled quickly.

"I'm terrified for this marriage, so I tried to run away. But there was no place I could go, besides here..." Xion sobbed, shaking her head. "I'll be a terrible wife, Roxas."

"I understand, but with each encroaching day we have less and less time. We must learn to accept our fate..." Roxas insisted.

Axel's stomach twisted. He glanced around the room, looking for a convenient excuse to escape. He knew Roxas was only trying to be kind, but still the reality of the situation pained him.

"I-I'll go fetch another blanket." Axel decided.

"There's one on my bed you can use," Roxas replied, noticing Axel's eagerness to escape.

Axel rushed out of the room, going toward Roxas's room. As he gathered the wool in his arms, he buried his face into the blanket. If this was meant to be an escape from the marriage, it didn't seem like one. The blanket smelled of olive oil, and of Roxas, though Axel couldn't describe what his lover smelled like. His heart twisted again, and he clenched the blanket to prevent himself from crying again.

As he made his return to the kitchen, noises came from the halls around him. Two figures met him in the atrium, and in the fading light coming from the stove fire he could barely make out Ansem and Ventus.

"What's going on? I need my rest..." Ventus muttered.

"Axel, what is all the commotion?" Ansem wondered. 

"Master Ansem, Lady Xion has run away and come here." He answered. "The reason is...unknown." 

"I see," Ansem nodded, "where is she now?" 

"She's in the kitchen by the fire." Axel replied.

Ansem walked briskly past Axel into the kitchen, but Ventus lingered in the atrium. He glared at Axel, and Axel wondered if Ventus had figured out Axel had known about Terra's disappearance.

Carrying the blanket into the kitchen, Axel returned to find Xion had changed into one of Naminé's robes. She still huddled next to the fire, shivering.

Axel handed the blanket to Roxas, whom wrapped it around Xion.

"Thank you," she mumbled weakly.

"Lady Xion, what is the meaning of this?" Ansem asked gently.

"Lord Ansem, it was very foolish of me to do this; I ran away because I fear the marriage between Roxas and me. But I suppose he has made the fear lessen."

"I understand, but this marriage is beneficial for the both of you. You two must come to understand your destinies." Ansem replied.

"We understand, Father," Roxas answered, "but for now, it is natural for us to be frightened..."

"Please, can I stay until morning?" Xion asked.

"Of course," Ansem said, "but in the morning will you return home?"

"I suppose it is the right thing to do..." Xion admitted.

"I will escort you home." Roxas offered. 

There was a sharp rapping on the front door, and everyone in the room jumped. 

Axel rushed to answer it, and standing in the rain was Saïx. Axel's blood chilled. 

"S-Saïx, what brings you here?" Axel stammered.

"It appears my mistress has run away, and I figured this would be where she came. Is she here?" He asked. 

Axel thought for a moment, pondering if he should tell Saïx the truth. 

Just then, Xion appeared in the kitchen doorway. 

Saïx's eyes perked when they fell upon Xion. "My lady, you must return home immediately."

"I'm staying the night here, Saïx; Roxas shall escort me home tomorrow morning. I understand it was foolish of me to run off, and Father will be very upset with me. Tell him to forgive me." Xion announced.

If Saïx was surprised by her statement, he did not let it show very clearly. "Very well. Lord Ansem, might I request permission to stay until the rain passes?" 

"You may," Ansem offered. "You are more than welcome to stay till morning as well, if you wish."

"Thank you, but that is not necessary." Saïx replied. 

"Well, with that settled, everyone return to bed." Ansem decided. 

  "You can come sleep in my room," Naminé offered to Xion, ushering her away. 

Roxas offered a faint smile to Axel as a goodnight, and Axel nodded slightly.

Before Axel extinguished the fire in the stove, he believed he noticed Saïx speak to Ventus. As the light went out, he decided it was only a mirage from lack of sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> \- Aut Disce Aut Discede - Learn or leave


	22. Vita Incerta, Mors Certissima

With another future predicted, Axel could not bear to fall asleep again. The only time he had felt at ease was after he and Roxas had spent that day at the lake. Everything had seemed perfect then, and his happiness was crumbling.

Part of him believed he should have known better than to let happiness in, since it would be taken away again. But Roxas was worth it, and he wouldn't have changed a thing.

After the morning meal, Roxas and Axel escorted Lady Xion home. The smell of petrichor hung in the air from the previous night of rain, a scent that seemed to make Axel's stomach turn.

Axel trailed behind the litter, wondering what Roxas and Xion were discussing inside. He supposed Roxas had convinced the two of them to get married, much to Axel's dismay.

They arrived at Lord Xaldin's villa, and Xion thanked Roxas for being so kind. Axel had half a mind to speak to Saïx and confirm he had seen him speak to Ventus, but he knew he would have to bide his time and wait for another meeting with Xion for them to speak.

Still, Axel dreaded the consequences he would face if Ventus repeated whatever Saïx had told him. The same dread that had caused him to fear the world and keep from searching for Saïx now flooded him, and he panicked.

He crept out of sight, going around the house until he found the kitchen. Almost by luck, he found Saïx behind the tiny window.

"Saïx! We need to speak!" He hissed sharply.

Saïx whirled around, squinting when he met eyes with Axel. "What is it? Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Did you speak to Ventus last night?" Axel immediately demanded.

Saïx tilted his head in confusion. "You must be seeing things; I am not permitted to speak to him unless asked."

"Don't lie to me, I know I saw it!' Axel gripped the bars on the kitchen window.

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about," Saïx replied, taken aback. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must return to my duties."

Axel shook the bars, but Saïx turned away. Axel growled and returned to following the litter on its way back home.  
  
  


"Are you sure you saw him speaking to Ventus?" Roxas asked, sitting up on his bed.

"I'm positive," Axel stated, "and I'm terrified of what he could've told him. I think Saïx knows about our relationship, and if Ventus knows..."

"I feel like Ventus should've confronted me about it already, but so far I've heard nothing from him. Of course, he's still mad at me about Terra." Roxas sighed.

Axel stared out the window again; the endless rain had begun. Axel sighed and drifted over to Roxas's bed, sitting across from him.

"I wish I could sleep next to you again." He mumbled.

"We could take a nap," Roxas suggested. "Do you think you'll be able to sleep again?"

"I felt the best when I was with you." Axel agreed.

Roxas kicked himself under the blankets and slid over so Axel could join him. Axel curled up under the blankets, pulling Roxas close.

Axel closed his eyes, and fell asleep.

He had hoped for a dreamless sleep, but Axel ended up with the opposite.

In his dream, he saw the figure lying on the steps to the garden. The figure's neck twisted out of align, and Axel realized the figure's neck was broken.

He was thrown out of his nightmare in a cold sweat, struggling for breath.

Roxas's eyes fluttered open, and he met Axel's terrified eyes. "What's the matter, did you have another nightmare?"

Axel nodded. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

Axel shook his head. 

"It's alright, it was just a nightmare," Roxas hushed, rubbing Axel's back.

"Someone is going to die, and I can't have it be you..." Axel choked. 

Roxas wavered, thinking over Axel's words. "It won't be me."

"How do you know? I won't know who it is until it happens, and then it'll be too late." Axel said.

"I just have a feeling it's not me. I know you don't want to talk about it, but now I'm curious to know how this person died." 

Axel bit his lip, then answered, "They fell down the stairs to the garden and broke their neck."

Roxas swallowed. "Well, I have no plans to go outside."

Axel managed to chuckle at his joke, but still his stomach turned restlessly. If Roxas were to be the corpse in his dream, he decided he would follow after him.

 

After the evening meal, Axel was still so bothered by his nightmare that he decided to keep himself busy by cleaning up the leftovers.

He carried empty platters to the kitchen, where Larxene and the other servants bustled around.

"What are you doing here, shouldn't you be attending to Master Roxas?" Larxene asked in annoyance.

"I suppose, but I just thought I could give you some extra help." Axel replied.

"I don't need extra help," Larxene sneered, just as she dropped a platter on the ground. Luckily it had been cleared, but it clattered loudly onto the floor. She hissed a curse under her breath and reached down to retrieve it.

Axel piled up several dishes to carry off to storage in his arms, when Larxene popped back up from picking up the platter. She bumped into him, and the gold _solidus_ Roxas had given him slipped out of the makeshift pocket in Axel's loincloth. It clinked to the floor, and Axel's eyes widened. 

"What's this...?" Larxene reached for it. Axel stepped on her hand, and she yanked it back. 

"Don't touch that." Axel scolded.

"Why not? Did you steal it?" Larxene asked.

"No," Axel said. He realized he couldn't tell her that Roxas had given it to him. "I found it, I'm giving it to Master Roxas."

"Why give it to him when he already has so much wealth? Keep it for yourself, or better, give it to me." Larxene suggested.

She reached for it again, but Axel kicked it away. It skittered across the floor, and Larxene rushed to put the platter away before diving after it.

Axel set the dishes down, chasing after Larxene. She pinched it triumphantly between her fingers, waving it around tauntingly. "Want it? Come get it."

She dashed out of the kitchen, dodging other servants and weaving between pillars. Axel raced after her, barely grasping the fabric of her dingy dress before she slipped out of his reach. 

"Give it back!" Axel demanded.

"Why should I? You're already Master Roxas's pet, just ask him for one." Larxene replied.

She burst through the doors outside, waving the coin around. Axel threw the doors open when they swung back again, glaring at her.

"Please, just give it back to me." Axel begged.

"No." Larxene stuck her tongue out.

Axel growled and grabbed her wrist. She attempted to fight him with her other hand, but he grabbed that wrist, too. Larxene kicked at Axel's legs as he grappled with her. The rain spattered down on them, making the ground slick. 

Finally Axel wrenched the coin from her grasp, but Larxene lost her balance on the slippery steps. She fell backward, screaming as she struggled to regain her balance. Her foot lost traction on the marble stairs, and her back slammed against them. Her head tipped back, and Axel heard a faint cracking sound as her neck snapped. 

Axel froze, his nightmare coming true again. He stared at Larxene's corpse, her last breaths leaking out. Her eyes were wide as if she had stared straight into the eyes of a gorgon and been turned to stone. 

Axel turned to the side, retching. He hadn't eaten much that day, but he managed to empty his stomach. He wiped his mouth, glancing at the corpse again.

His legs trembled as he ambled down the steps, and he crouched to close her eyes. The doors swung open, and Axel nearly lost his balance.

"What's going on out here?" A harsh voice demanded, and Axel froze again.

He turned his head, meeting eyes with Ventus. 

"I-it was an accident," Axel stammered, but the gleam in Ventus's eyes told him Ventus knew better.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> \- Vita Incerta, Mors Certissima - Life is uncertain, but death is certain


	23. De Fumo In Flammam

Ventus kept his lips shut as Larxene's body was carried away. She was given a brief respectful silence and a few prayers to send her soul to peace, then life continued.

For Axel, the guilt settled so thickly in his stomach that he did not eat for the next day. All the while, he waited for Ventus to say something, to expose him to the world and rip him from Roxas's grasp faster than expected.

He desperately longed for Roxas's touch again, even if the nightmares continued. However, he dreaded bringing harm to Roxas.

Of course Axel had told Roxas the truth about Larxene's death, and though Roxas assured him it wasn't his fault, Axel believed otherwise.

"I'm bringing so much pain to this family," Axel groaned, "I can't stay here..."

"No, please don't leave..." Roxas begged. 

"Sooner or later it'll all be over anyway, so what's the point of me sticking around?" Axel replied.

"Aren't I enough?" Tears formed at the corners of Roxas's eyes. 

"Yes, but..." Axel faltered.

"'But' what? You're just going to let everything fall into place the way it's supposed to instead of interfering? You're going to let me drift away like Saïx did?" Roxas interrupted. 

"Don't bring him up, you know you mean more to me than Saïx ever did! I can't bear to bring any harm to you, and if that means I have to disappear then..." Axel faltered again, his heart clenching.

"Then what?" Roxas muttered.

"Then...so be it." 

Roxas swallowed thickly, his tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Don't cry..." Axel mumbled, drifting over to him and wiping Roxas's tears away with his thumbs.

"I can't help it," Roxas replied, "I don't want you to leave."

"I'll only bring more harm to you." Axel insisted.

"Do you think that matters to me? Nothing in the world matters unless I have you." Roxas gripped onto Axel's hands.

Axel shook his head, chuckling. "Why did I have to fall so in love with you?"

Roxas knit his brows, but he quickly smiled. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips to Axel's. 

For a long time, the two of them let the cruel world slip away. 

 

Ventus's eyes seemed to stick to Axel during their evening meal. 

The entire table was silent, the lack of noise burning Axel's skin.

Finally, much to Axel's dismay, Ventus spoke out, "It's a shame poor Larxene's life was taken so quickly, and at such a young age. She was a very diligent slave, was she not?"

The others around the table mumbled in agreement.

"It's an even larger shame that Larxene was _murdered_." Ventus added.

The silence grew louder, and Axel's stomach dropped. 

"What do you mean to say, Ventus?" Ansem asked, sitting up straighter. 

"I mean to say that Larxene's death wasn't an accident." Ventus stated.

"I-it isn't right to speak of the deceased." Roxas stuttered. 

"We're not speaking badly about her, I only speak good things about the departed." Ventus said. "Besides, isn't it a bit suspicious that there was only one witness to Larxene's death?" 

Ventus turned his head, his eyes resting on Axel. Axel swallowed thickly.

"You, Axel, you were the one true witness to Larxene's death, correct?" Ventus asked.

His words felt like poison seeping into Axel's skin. "Y-yes, it is true."

"And how did Larxene die?" 

"Sh-she slipped on the steps outside." Axel answered. So far, none of this was really lying.

"But why did she lose her balance, and why was she even outside in the first place?" Ventus continued.

Axel's heart pounded, threatening to burst from his chest. "She was chasing a rat outside." He decided.

"Then why were _you_ there?" Ventus smirked.

"I was helping her." Axel replied.

"Ventus, what is the meaning of this?" Ansem sighed.

"This slave is the one who really killed Larxene!" Ventus shouted, standing.

"That's not true!" Roxas shouted back, also rising.

"Who are you to vouch for him? He's just a slave, isn't he? Or...is he something more?" Ventus sneered.

Roxas shifted, looking away.

"Is it possible you and this slave have an affair between you?" Ventus drifted over to Roxas with the demeanor of a snake closing in on its prey.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Roxas insisted.

"I don't? Then how do you explain what I saw when we returned that night from the _Saturnalia_ feast at the house of General Eraqus?" Ventus asked.

"Wh-what did you see?" Roxas wondered.

"Your slave lay in the same bed as you, passed out with the smell of sex in the air." Ventus stated.

Both Axel and Roxas froze, their secrets exposed. Axel had anticipated this, but now that it had happened he could do nothing to stop it.

"Though it's not uncommon for masters to use slaves for whatever purpose they desire, I believe something stronger exists. What is it, Roxas? What is it this slave to you?" Ventus hissed.

Roxas stayed silent, his lip trembling.

"If he really means nothing to you, then let him face his punishment for murder; let him be executed in the morning." Ventus said. 

"Ventus, you treacherous wretch!" Roxas shouted. 

"What's wrong? You're going to be the master of the house someday; what's one meaningless slave to you?" Ventus wondered.

"He means more to me than you ever will, brother or not!" Roxas yelled. "A true brother would never spill another's secrets. And what is this for? What do you have against me?"

"What do I have against you?" Ventus repeated. "I have everything against you! You're the younger twin and _you're_ the one whose going to inherit everything!"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Roxas asked. "Take the house, I don't care! Take Xion, too! All I care about is Axel!"

" _Favete linguis_!" Ansem shouted, rising to his feet. 

Silence fell over them again. 

"Roxas, Ventus, go to your rooms. I don't want to hear another word from you tonight." Ansem demanded. "And as for Axel, I will not have him executed."

The two of them sighed in relief.

"However, I _will_ be sending him back to the gladiator school." Ansem finished.

"No, please don't take him away!" Roxas begged.

"I'm sorry, but this is how it must be." Ansem replied. "Now both of you, go to your rooms."

"Just, please, let me say goodbye..." Roxas pleaded.

Ansem wavered for a moment, then agreed grudgingly. He ushered everyone out of the room, sending them off to bed.

Roxas sniffed, the tears already flowing down his face. "I can't let you go..." 

"I'm sorry," Axel said, "but I'm glad I risked everything for a few moments of happiness." 

"I...I'm glad, too..." Roxas managed a weak smile.

"We'll see each other again." Axel promised. 

"Of course..." Roxas agreed. 

Axel leaned in, savoring the taste of Roxas's lips one last time. He combed his fingers through Roxas's hair, feeling its softness. 

When they broke apart, the guards were already waiting to take Axel into custody, and they met eyes for the last time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> \- De Fumo In Flammam - Out of the smoke and into the fire
> 
> \- Favete linguis - Hold your tongue


	24. Dum Spiro Spero

At the first sign of daybreak, Axel awaited the sight of Lexaeus and the cart that used to tow him from the arena to the school fight after fight.

On the horizon, he saw the cart appear. Lexaeus's smug face greeted him, and Axel's stomach turned.

"I'm very sorry, Master Ansem." Axel knelt and bowed to him. "I shouldn't have caused so much trouble."

"The trouble is all over now, Axel. Besides, maybe it was a mistake to take you from your rightful place in the arena." Ansem said. He exchanged a few words with Lexaeus before Lexaeus bound Axel's wrists behind his back and threw him into the cart.

Lexaeus lashed the reins, carrying the cart on its way.

"So boy, domestic life isn't what it was cut out to be? Caused too much trouble, did you?" Lexaeus chuckled.

Axel almost answered him, but then he remembered his place. He would miss being able to converse freely to Roxas.

In a matter of time, the cart pulled up to the gladiator school again. Axel's heart fell into the pit of his stomach.

The cart came to a halt and Lexaeus grabbed Axel by his bindings, pushing him up the steps. The first person they met at the door was Luxord.

"He's returned?" Luxord wondered.

"Ansem sent him back; I had figured this would happen." Lexaeus said.

Luxord stepped aside, letting them in.

"Since you've missed so much training, you won't be at the same rank as you used to be." Lexaeus said gruffly, "So if you want to be as popular as you used to be, I'd suggest you get training right now."

Lexaeus pushed Axel toward the training courtyard and undid his bindings. "You know, I'm surprised Larxene didn't come back with you; she seemed more likely to come back than you did. I guess I owe Luxord five _denarii_."

Axel lifted his head, looking around the courtyard. There were many new trainees, all under Axel's age. At the far end of the courtyard, he found Marluxia shooting at targets. He shuffled over to him, still in a daze from being taken away from Roxas.

"Axel? What are you doing here, now?" Marluxia asked, letting his bow fall.

"Ansem sent me back here," Axel replied simply.

"I would've never expected you to return; I rather expected..." Marluxia looked around, as if trying to find Larxene.

"Larxene is dead," Axel stated, "I...I accidentally killed her..."

Marluxia's eyes widened. "And still, Ansem chose to send you here instead of have you executed?"

"He was a kind master, I was never punished by him for anything." Axel agreed. "Did Aqua leave?"

"Yes, she's been gone since last _Saturnalia_." Marluxia replied. "I suppose she's really the only happy one."

Axel nodded. "Well, I must catch up in training. Were you given a new partner?"

Marluxia pointed to Demyx across the courtyard. "Zexion died of a fever, so they paired me up with him. He's an awful slacker, I'd rather be paired up with you again."

Axel stared down at his feet. "I agree...but if I ever want to reach your level again, I must go now."

"Alright; it's good to have you back, Axel." Marluxia said, raising his bow again.

Axel ambled over to a rack of various weapons, drawing a sword. It had been so long since he had held one. He waved it around, feeling the balance of it in his hand again.

 _We'll see each other again_ , he had said to Roxas.

Now Axel just had to confirm that he would live to see another day.  
  


Winter soon drifted away, giving way to spring.

Axel watched the season turn as he trained in the courtyard. With each passing day, he felt that death was almost favorable to staying alive and knowing Roxas was still out there without him.

Still, he pressed on, fighting during each festival for entertainment. He would look out into the stands, wondering if Roxas was among the crowds.

During one particular festival, he was paired up against a younger gladiator by the name of Sora. The memory of Sora resonated with him so deeply because the boy's face looked so much like Roxas's, and the emperor had decided for Axel to end Sora's life.

Since then, Sora's spirit haunted Axel's dreams, along with the others he had killed. The dream about him being burned alive replayed over and over, always adding new people to the crowd of attacked. Among them now were Larxene and, of course, Sora.

As the seasons turned on, Axel often considered losing just for the sake of his misery ending. Even so, part of him knew he had to keep his promise to Roxas, even if it meant the last time they'd meet again was when Axel was on his deathbed.

The life Axel had known before was still as tedious as before, but every day he was torn between living and dying by choice to see Roxas.

Finally the season changed once more to summer, and Axel now believed Roxas was gone forever. At this point, Roxas and Xion would have been married, and Xion might even be expecting their first child.

Axel's stomach turned when he felt the first summer breeze outside in the courtyard. That's it, he decided, it was all over.

At that moment, Axel decided life wasn't worth living anymore if Roxas wasn't in his life.

He would lose the next battle he was thrown into.

 

Axel adjusted his helmet, squinting as the door lifted to reveal the arena to him. He had worked his way up the ranks now, but he remained lower than the status he used to have.

The crowd cheered, delighted to see Axel's return. They had been delighted ever since Axel was sent back, much to his dismay.

"People of Rome, I present to you the _Gallus_ Axel, versus the _Dimachaerus_ Roxas!" Luxord announced.

Axel's heart thudded. He couldn't have heard that right...

He glanced ahead, seeing the _Dimachaerus_ on the other side of the arena. He wore no helmet, and in the light Axel could see the gladiator's golden spikes.

The two gladiators stood across from each other staring. Axel failed to find his words. There was no way Roxas was here...

"Fight!" Luxord demanded.

The two sprinted at each other, and Axel swung his sword. His blade clanged against the other gladiator's, and now that they were close they could see each other clearly.

"Axel?"

"Roxas?"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> \- Dum Spiro Spero - While I breathe, I hope
> 
> \- Dimachaerus - A type of lightly-armed gladiator with two swords


	25. Amantes Sunt Amentes

"Wh-what are you doing here?" Axel demanded, swinging his sword again.

"What do you think?" Roxas asked, blocking Axel. 

"I don't know what to think!" Axel insisted, jabbing at him. Roxas dodged swiftly. "Why are we fighting?"

"Because we have to," Roxas smirked, "now make sure you get out of this alive."

"What about you? What if they demand someone's death?" Axel swung, but Roxas sidestepped his attack.

"Lexaeus wouldn't dare lose you again," Roxas assured, crossing his swords. Axel stepped backward to avoid him.

"But what about you?" Axel pointed out, slashing.

"I'm a nobleman; Lexaeus wouldn't dare let something happen to me, either." Roxas replied. 

"Once we get out of here, you're telling me everything! No holding back!" Axel demanded.

"As long as you don't hold back on this fight!" Roxas promised.

Axel chuckled, throwing his arm back and swinging at Roxas. Roxas's nimble body allowed him to jump out of the way.

Roxas skidded in the dirt, regained his footing, and charged at Axel. Axel backhanded Roxas's attack, metal clanging against metal. Using as much force as he could, Axel pushed Roxas back. Roxas's swords collided with each other, and Roxas lost his footing and crashed into the dirt. His swords skittered away.

Roxas scrambled away as Axel jabbed at him, until he was within reach of one of his swords. Axel plunged his sword downward, but Roxas rolled out of the way and grabbed his own weapon.

Axel wore a devious smirk as he battled Roxas with only one blade. "I would never have imagined being pitted against the one I love."

"Neither would I," Roxas agreed, "but you're holding back; convince them! Make it seem like you're really trying to kill me!"

Axel nodded ever so slightly, and slashed again. He gripped his sword with two hands, bringing the blade down on Roxas. Roxas turned his blade sideways and blocked, pushing Axel's blade back. 

"I also never would've imagined you'd become so skilled," Axel added.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Roxas teased. 

"I don't know," Axel admitted, thrusting his sword at Roxas.

Roxas swept the blade away, the sound of scraping metal burning through his ears. He lunged, aiming for Axel's side, but Axel dodged. Axel's sword clashed against Roxas's, and Axel kicked Roxas in the stomach. 

Roxas stumbled backward, losing his balance again. Still, he held onto his sword, and happened to land near the other. He reached out for it, seeing Axel charging toward him.

Roxas finally grabbed it, and gripped onto both swords. He braced himself, crossing the blades as Axel brought his sword down onto him. Roxas curled up, then he kicked harshly. His feet collided with Axel's thigh, and he knew he left a bruise. 

Axel stumbled back, falling onto one knee. Roxas sprung to his feet, crossing his swords again and bringing them down on Axel. Axel turned his blade to the flat edge, protecting himself. The metal screamed as the blades slowly slid off each other. 

Roxas growled, pushing as forcefully as his nimble body would allow. Axel let go of his sword, the metal clattering against the dirt as it skidded away. Axel fell onto his back, submitting himself to defeat.

Roxas pointed one of his blades at Axel's throat. The crowd cheered wildly, showering Roxas with victory.

Axel panted, grinning. "Well done."

"Thanks," Roxas sighed.

"And the victor is: Roxas!" Luxord announced.

The gladiators met eyes one last moment before they were dragged back into the darkness.

 

The hands that had dragged Axel under the arena let go, and he immediately ran toward the other side of the arena to Roxas.

Thankfully neither of them had their hands bound, and at the sight of one another, they threw their unchained arms around the other.

"I missed you so much," Axel sighed, his happiness overflowing. Tears rolled down his dirt-spattered face.

"Me too," Roxas agreed. Axel could see the tear stains down Roxas's dirty cheeks.

"How did you get here, _when_ did you get here?" Axel wondered through sobs of disbelief.

"After you left, I pestered my father until he told me which gladiator school you had come from. Shortly after I had gathered the information I ran away to find you, but they wouldn't let me in. 

"A little bit after that, during another festival, we attended the games. You were fighting that day, and I remembered how awesome you appeared in battle. I realized then that the only way I could get close to you again was if I became a gladiator myself. I ran away to your gladiator school again, and I bribed Lexaeus and Luxord not to speak a word to my father. I trained for months, pushing myself until I could reach your level of skill. And...here I am." Roxas explained.

"What about Xion? It's past the time you should've been married." Axel remembered.

Roxas wavered, but finally answered, "She ran away again, and she managed to make it pretty far, but when she was found she had contracted an illness. Shortly after, she passed away. She's free now, and I suppose that's all that matters."

Axel clenched his teeth. "I'm sorry, I didn't know I could bring so much damage to your life."

"You didn't bring this damage; it was already brewing before you came into my life. It's alright, all that matters is that we're together now."

Each word had stacked upon Axel's back like sheets of metal, until the last words broke him down and reduced him to tears. "Roxas...and just when I was about to give up..."

"I'm here now." Roxas assured. "I'm never leaving you again."

Roxas cupped Axel's face and brought it to his own, their lips colliding. They tasted of salt and dirt, but neither of them minded.

Roxas pressed Axel up against the wall, and Axel's knees buckled. For so long he had desired Roxas's touch...

Roxas slid his hand up Axel's side, savoring the softness of his skin. Axel shivered, his sobs racking his body. He felt a warm wetness caress his lips, and he opened his mouth to let Roxas slide his tongue inside.

Roxas's caressed the inside of Axel's mouth, and Axel moaned softly into Roxas's. His desire grew fiercer, begging Roxas for more.

Roxas drew his mouth away, a thread of saliva connecting them. "Tonight, I'll sneak you into my cell. My door is always unlocked, and I don't have a cellmate."

"But my door _is_ locked." Axel pointed out.

"It's alright; I stole a key to the cells, and I have enough money to hush anyone who questions it." Roxas grinned. 

Axel nodded, his excitement hardly contained. 

 

In the late hours of the night, Axel waited for the clicking noises of the heavy door to signal Roxas's arrival.

He glanced over at his cellmate, a young boy named Hayner, who had collapsed from exhaustion and now snored heavily.

The clicking noises came, and the door creaked open. Axel slipped out of bed and out the door. The door shut again, and Axel pressed his ear to it to check if Hayner had woken. Surprisingly, there remained quiet on the other side, and Axel followed Roxas to his cell.

In the quiet hours of the night, Axel melted into Roxas's warmth. Their skin collided in passion, Roxas's every movement burning into Axel's core and bringing him closer to the edge. 

Axel managed to keep his voice restrained, clapping a hand over his mouth to hush himself. Roxas stamped his lips all over Axel's face, neck, and chest. Axel dug his nails into Roxas's back. 

The hand over Axel's mouth clamped harder as Axel came, his body becoming rigid as the pleasure coursed through him. His nails pierced Roxas's skin, and Roxas groaned as he released his load into Axel. 

Roxas collapsed on Axel's sticky chest, and Axel embraced him. 

"I never want to be separated from you again." Roxas whispered.

"Neither do I," Axel agreed. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Roxas kissed the space behind Axel's ear. 

"What are we going to do? We can't stay here forever." Axel pointed out.

"We'll have to escape, but we should probably do what Terra did and wait until the _Saturnalia_ to make our move." Roxas suggested. 

"Alright. Just promise me you'll win every battle in between so we can escape together." Axel said.

"I don't plan to escape without you." Roxas assured. 

Axel sighed, closing his eyes and drifting away into endless bliss.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> \- Amantes sunt amentes - Lovers are lunatics


	26. Amor Et Melle Et Felle Est Fecundissimus

Before the break of dawn, Axel grudgingly woke to slip back into his cell before Lexaeus came to unlock them again.

Roxas closed the door behind him, smiling sympathetically as the light was shut out.

Axel plopped onto his cot and curled up, feigning sleep. It wouldn't be long before Lexaeus came to wake them. He barely closed his eyes before the pounding on the door came, and the rusty locks gave way.

"Come on, wake up; there's no time to lose." Lexaeus demanded.

Hayner blinked the sleep from his eyes, rising from his cot. Axel slowly rose, rubbing his eyes. He indulged in the refreshed feeling inside him after spending the night with Roxas.

Axel stretched, his back cracking. He craned his neck to see the first few rays of morning light spreading across the courtyard. At last he knew Roxas was on the other side of the light.

The cellmates followed the stream of weary gladiators down to the mess hall for their morning meal. Axel glanced over at the stream of newer gladiators, all of which were bound in shackles. He wondered if Roxas had had to submit himself to that in order to blend in with the others.

They sat down on the rotting wooden benches while slaves even lower than they dealt them each a tiny chunk of bread and dried fruit. Axel scanned the room, searching for Roxas's golden spikes to single him out among the others. He finally came across them, though he was not allowed to walk over to him and speak, nor sit down next to him.

Roxas turned his head, meeting eyes with Axel. Roxas smiled at him, Axel felt blush spreading to his cheeks. He enjoyed the feeling of sharing a secret with one person in a room filled with many.

Since Roxas's rank now closely matched Axel's, the two were allowed to have the same schedule throughout the day. After their morning meal, the two followed the others whom matched their ranks to the courtyard to train until the midday meal.

Axel now found himself free to converse with Roxas, but only if he remained casual. He joined Roxas at the sword-training station, where the boy practiced wielding his dual blades. Axel drew a sword and shifted into fighting stance.

"I saw the group of trainee gladiators this morning before we sat down to eat," Axel began, "tell me, what did you have to do to blend in among us?"

"I did whatever I had to," Roxas replied solemnly, "I don't really like to think about it. Every day I feel a bit guilty for leaving everything I had behind. That isn't to say leaving it behind wasn't worth it."

He managed to smile at Axel, but Axel also had guilt settled inside him.

"It's alright to have cared about things other than me," Axel mentioned, "I just didn't have much to care for other than you."

Roxas's grip tightened on his swords. "In honesty, I feel very guilty for throwing everything away. At the time, it just seemed right, but as my world fell apart, I realized I couldn't go back."

"But you still can go back," Axel offered.

"And tell them what? That I ran away because I fell in love with someone I wasn't supposed to fall for?" Roxas's voice was rising now, and his eyes sparkled with tears.

"Roxas, hush..." Axel warned.

"My father, my brother, my sister, my betrothed, they're all gone now because I chose what I wanted!" Tears slowly slid down Roxas's cheeks. "Don't make me regret the choice I made!"

Axel knit his brows. "I can't make you regret your choices, only you can. I understand how you feel like unsure of the choice you made, I'm not hurt by it at all. The only way you could hurt me is if you had stopped caring about them completely; if you didn't care about anyone but me, then you wouldn't be upset right now."

Roxas's lip quivered, and he dropped the swords on the ground. He reduced himself to a child, letting the tears pour down his face. He clung to Axel, and Axel glanced over to see if anyone had noticed; no one seemed to, and if they did they were too nervous to show it. On the far end of the courtyard, even Lexaeus didn't seem to know.

Axel let his sword fall as well, and his arms gripped Roxas. "It's alright," he murmured as Roxas sobbed into his chest.

"I'm the worst person to have existed," Roxas wailed, "I didn't even think twice about what I did..."

Axel shushed him softly, rubbing his back. He could feel Roxas's muscles that had developed during the months of training he'd gone through. At the very least, Roxas had had enough willpower to continue his plan to reunite with Axel.

Gradually, Roxas's crying ceased and Axel found his opportunity to ask him a favor. Axel let go slowly, placing his hands on Roxas's shoulders and looking him in the eye.

"Roxas, please return to them someday and explain yourself." Axel whispered.

"I-I can't, what would I even say...?" Roxas protested.

"You will tell them the truth of why you ran away." Axel replied.

"But they already know about our affair, what more is there to speak of?" Roxas asked.

"Did you explain what lay between us after I was taken away?" Axel wondered.

"My father did ask me to explain myself, and I simply agreed to having an affair with you. He knows it's normal for masters and slaves to have affairs, even when their masters are wedded. I didn't really say I was in love with you, though, I had hoped confessing to an affair would translate to that." Roxas explained.

"Regardless of if he understood your intentions, you need to return and apologize for being so rash in your decision." Axel said.

"What if they won't let me be with you? That's my greatest fear..." Roxas's eyes brimmed with tears again.

"If you really want to run away from your problems, do it correctly." Axel decided.

"What do you mean...?"

"You will sit down and legally pass on everything to Ventus, even if your father has already done that by default. You will explain to your father your choice, and that since you have been an adult for nearly four years, you can make this choice. You will visit Lord Xaldin and also apologize to him for not carrying on his legacy. You will visit Xion's grave and tell her everything as well, regardless if you believe she's truly listening." Axel stated.

Roxas nodded, sniffing.

"We both need to face the truth." Axel added.

"What truths must you face?" Roxas pointed out.

Axel thought for a moment. "I suppose I should explain myself to Saïx, if he is still alive."

"I believe he is, I don't see why he wouldn't be." Roxas agreed. He managed to give Axel a weak smile. "Now I know I haven't regretted my choice, even if it hurts to know I've hurt the people I cared about."

Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel once more, and Axel allowed his hug.

When they broke apart, Roxas said, "Now, I'll have to count how much money I have to convince Lexaeus and Luxord to give you to me again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations   
> \- Amor et melle et felle est fecundissimus - Love is rich with both honey and venom


	27. Veritas Amara Libertas

At the first sign of dawn of the next day, Axel's door opened to find Roxas joining Lexaeus.

"What makes you think I'd give him to you so easily?" Lexaeus grumbled to Roxas.

"I understand you won't want to give up one of the finest gladiators you've ever owned, but I promise I will complete the necessary payments for him." Roxas assured.

Lexaeus glared at Axel, then shifted his gaze to Roxas. "I want all the money for him up front."

Roxas's face turned pale, and Axel's stomach dropped. Perhaps they weren't getting out so easily.

"O-of course..." Roxas produced his pouch of gold and tugged it open. He poured the gold coins into Lexaeus's meaty palm. The entire sum of Axel's worth fit in Lexaeus's hand, spread across his thick fingers.

Lexaeus sifted the coins through his fingers into his other palm. He nodded approvingly before cramming the gold into his pocket and trudging into the tiny cell. He gripped the back of Axel's tunic and prodded him toward Roxas.

"He's yours now, but neither of you can leave until after today's games." Lexaeus said gruffly.

"We had an agreement, I demand you to let us leave now." Roxas protested.

"You're forgetting something important: you might be a freeman, but you belong to this gladiator school. That means you'll follow the rules until you can earn your freedom." Lexaeus corrected.

"But I've earned my freedom, and I've paid for Axel's!" Roxas insisted.

"If you can make it out of today's games alive, then you're free to go; I don't see the problem with my offer." Lexaeus affirmed.

Roxas pursed his lips, silently agreeing with Lexaeus's requirements.

Lexaeus reached out his large fist and pounded on the wall, jarring Hayner from his sleep. "You've put me behind schedule now," he said to Roxas pointedly. He ambled down the hall, continuing to unlock doors and pound on walls to wake the gladiators.

Roxas looked at Axel with an expression of worry. Axel smiled back assuredly, and Roxas's worry melted.   
  
  


Axel panted, the sweat on his body growing sticky under his armor. He shuffled to the other side of the arena, waiting for Roxas to meet him in the middle.

From the far end of the thin tunnel, Roxas sprinted to meet with his lover. Roxas threw his arms around Axel, and Axel nearly collapsed into him.

"You really didn't give in today, did you?" Axel chuckled breathlessly.

"We had to give them one last good show, didn't we?" Roxas replied, his breathing also ragged. "Would you like to sleep in my cell tonight before we take our leave of this place for good?"

"Of course I would," Axel agreed.

He leaned on Roxas's tiny shoulders as the two exited the arena to be loaded onto the cart to return to the school.

Waiting for them in the cart was an exhausted-looking Marluxia. His eyes were barely open as they approached him.

"Axel, I've never seen you looking so thrilled to lose." Marluxia observed. "And I don't believe I've been formally introduced to your opponent."

"Ah, I suppose it is better late than never to be introduced." Axel smiled. He thought to himself, _And of all days, to meet him on the day we're both leaving..._ "This is Roxas, son of Ansem the Wise."

"It is a pleasure to meet you." Roxas bowed his head.

Marluxia sat up a bit straighter. "If you don't mind me asking, what is a noble doing here in the arena?"

"It's a long story, but I suppose today of all days is when we should begin to be truthful." Roxas admitted. "My father purchased Axel months ago as my personal slave, but in that time we became friends and eventually..." Blush spread across his face, dispersing to even the tips of his ears.

"He is my lover," Axel finished.

Marluxia cracked a sly smile. "Interesting."

Axel could feel himself burning away. "I suppose...but Lexaeus and the others in the school do not know of our secret affair, and we intend to keep it that way, even though the two of us are leaving tomorrow. Oh...I suppose no one's supposed to know that information, either, though Lexaeus knows."

"Axel, we've known each other for some time, and you can trust me with your secrets." Marluxia nodded genuinely. "Though it's a shame to see you go."

"Thank you, Marluxia." Axel sighed. He climbed into the cart, pulling Roxas in after him.

Roxas curled up against him, tracing patterns into Axel's sweaty skin.

Marluxia chuckled and closed his eyes. "Young love..." He mused, and drifted off to sleep.

Lexaeus returned from the arena with Demyx and Hayner, and he nudged them roughly into the cart. Roxas sat up and shifted a bit away from Axel, but they discreetly held onto each other's hand as Lexaeus prepared the cart to leave and as they traveled down the road to the school.  
  
  


 _"Mm...Roxas..."_ Axel hummed as he stroked Roxas's cheeks with his thumbs.

Roxas panted, gazing into his lover's eyes. "Axel..."

Axel rocked his hips slightly to the rhythm of Roxas's movements, each motion sending stronger surges of pleasure throughout his body.

Roxas clenched his fists as he came, the bliss rippling through him. Axel tilted his head back and bit his lip sharply until he could taste blood, stifling his noise as the sensation pulsed through every inch of his body.

Roxas's elbows buckled and he crumpled into Axel with a satisfied sigh.

"I love you so much," Axel whispered, caressing Roxas's hair.

"I love you, too." Roxas breathlessly replied. "Do you think everything will work out tomorrow?"

"I believe so." Axel agreed.

"But if it doesn't, does that guarantee we still have each other?" Roxas wondered.

"The bitter truth is that there is no guarantee that we will have each other forever, but the hope inside us is what drives us to create the outcome." Axel replied. He pondered for a brief moment at where his sudden bout of wisdom had come from, since had only been an uneducated slave for most of his life.

Roxas chuckled, drawing circles on Axel's skin. "When did you get so wise?"

"Since I fell for the son of the teacher." Axel jested.

Roxas squeezed Axel's sides lovingly before their eyelids drooped and they slipped into slumber.

 

As the morning rays crept across the floor, Axel was gently woken by Roxas as he opened the door to their freedom from the school.

With anxiety settling in their stomachs, neither had the desire to eat before leaving. The large door to the school echoed across the empty halls as it opened, and Axel glanced at his prison for truly the last time.

Hand in hand, the two ambled down the road. Axel remembered it was quite a trip all the way to Ansem's villa, and marveled at the thought of Roxas traveling to the school alone and on foot for those long hours.

By the time they had reached Ansem's villa, the anxiety had begun to be replaced by hunger, but both had their minds on mending the past before eating.

Roxas's hand trembled as he reached to knock on the door. The gentle sound of his knuckles against the wood seemed to be too quiet to cause a stir in the house, but as quickly as he had knocked the door was flung open by Naminé.

"Roxas!" She cried, throwing her arms around her brother. "We were so worried..."

"It's alright Naminé, I'm alright." Roxas assured.

She yanked him inside, leaving the door open for Axel to enter the house.

"Where have you been? You've been gone for months!" Naminé demanded.

Roxas glanced at Axel briefly and sighed. "I suppose if I must begin telling the truth, then I should begin with you."

"Wait, we've just gathered in the dining hall for the midday meal; come tell us all at once." Naminé decided.

"What about Axel?" Roxas asked.

"He can come too, it doesn't matter; we've just been so worried about you." Naminé replied, dragging him down the hall.

Axel followed as Roxas was propped up in front of the family he had abandoned several months ago.

A mixture of disbelief, astonishment, and joy pooled in their eyes. Even Ventus's eyes glimmered with joy at the sight of the brother he had cast off.

"Roxas, where were you?" Ansem wondered gently.

Roxas inhaled deeply. "As you know, I ran away several months ago; and long before that, Ventus and I had that altercation at _coena_ , revealing the affair I had with my--with Axel. But the reason I ran away in the first place was because I had fallen so deeply in love with Axel, and I would stop at nothing to have him by my side again.

"At first, I did not see an error in my ways, but Axel soon made me realize that I had been foolish not to think things through. In truth, he is the one who told me to return and explain myself to you, and to everyone who deserves an explanation.

"Father, I'm sorry I threw away the entire life you had planned for me, but the truth is that I do not care for that life. The life I want to live is one where Axel is with me.

"Ventus, I'm terribly sorry for wronging you in any way. If you truly wish to inherit everything that Father had wanted me to inherit, then I have no objections to signing everything over to you."

The room grew heavy with a thick silence. Ansem and Ventus exchanged glances.

Finally, Ventus stood and cleared his throat. He glared harshly at Roxas first, but then he sighed and hung his head in exasperation. "Roxas, forgive me; I should've been honest from the very beginning instead of holding this awful grudge against you. I should've known it was never your fault that Father had chosen you over me. I'm so sorry."

"I forgive you, Ventus. You are my twin, after all." Roxas opened his arms for Ventus, and Ventus allowed himself to be held.

"Roxas, if this is truly the life you desire then I have no objections." Ansem declared. "Still, I hope you are much more responsible in your decisions from now on."

"Yes, Father." Roxas agreed.

"Are you sure you want to leave everything to Ventus?"

Roxas smiled at his brother and nodded. "I have no need for wealth; love is my wealth."

"Then you have truly become a wise man." Ansem said.

Ventus cleared his throat. "Um, so long as we're being honest now, I have a few other confessions to add..."

All eyes turned to Ventus. Seeing him in this state baffled Axel, as if he had changed entirely since his brother's absence.

"My slave Terra and I also had an affair, but I did not treat him the way I should have treated someone I cared about. Because of this, he ran away with a prostitute I had been seeing in the _subura_ named Aqua. I lost two people I actually cared about because I did not care enough to try. But now...now I want to change that, especially if I am to be the household master." Ventus confessed. "Also...you understand I have been spending much of my time with Vanitas..."

A sly smile spread across Roxas's face as he pieces Ventus's words together. Ventus noticed his brother's giddiness and he immediately turned red.

"Are you sure you want to ask Father for advice in love? After all, he hasn't been remarried since Mother's death..." Roxas hinted.

"I think I can figure out what you are trying to tell me, but if we are being honest then I really think Roxas should help you." Ansem decided. "Now, may we enjoy our meal in peace?"

"Of course." Roxas agreed, sitting down with his family.

Axel's stomach growled, and Ansem motioned for him to sit down at the table with them.

 

After the meal, Roxas explained the rest of his plans to speak with Lord Xaldin while Axel wandered out to the lot in the garden where Ansem had his wife and slaves buried.

Most nobles did not understand why Ansem insisted on giving his slaves proper burials, but Axel understood Ansem's true kindness.

He knelt at the small grave given to Larxene, touching the ground with his fingertips.

Axel felt a bit nervous speaking to the dead, but he believed she could hear him. "Larxene, I am deeply sorry we never truly got along. I admired your strength as a warrior and as a woman, and I hope you have the same strength in the afterlife.

"The coin I had fought with you over was given to me by Roxas because we had had an affair. He gave it to me as a gift, saying one day I would use it to begin my days as a freeman someday. I wish I could've given you the freedom you deserved on earth instead of giving it to you here, but I hope you are at peace now. Forgive me for the trouble I caused with you, I never meant for it to end this way..."

A slight breeze brushed through the lot, swaying Axel's hair. He glanced at the sky, seeing storm clouds rolling in. A crackle of lightning etched its way across the sky, and Axel couldn't help but smile at the knowledge that Larxene had heard his voice.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> \- Veritas Amara Libertas - Truth is a bitter freedom


	28. Errare Humanum Est

Axel woke nestled into the blankets on Roxas's bed with Roxas curled up beside him. He silently decided he wanted to begin every day with that experience.

He gently kissed Roxas's blond head, and Roxas's eyelids fluttered open. He stretched a bit and yawned, "Good morning, Axel."

"Good morning," Axel repeated. "Are you ready to speak to Lord Xaldin today?"

"I am," Roxas agreed, "and you, to Saïx?" 

Axel's eyes drifted away from Roxas's gaze for a moment, but it snapped back. "Yes."

Roxas threw the covers off and swung his legs over the bed. "I don't think you will have to dress me anymore since you are practically almost free." He opened the doors to his wardrobe, letting his hand caress each carefully-woven toga; he hadn't missed his luxurious clothing during months of training as a gladiator. 

He chose a plain one and held it up, his brows knitting. Axel couldn't help but chuckle at Roxas's confusion.

"Are you sure you don't need help? You helped me put on my toga, so it isn't a task for a single person to complete on their own." Axel offered.

"Yes, please." Roxas decided.

Axel leaped out of the bed and helped dress him for the day.

"You should wear your toga as well." Roxas suggested.

Axel reached inside, pulling out the toga from Ansem's wardrobe. "This one looks the least formal for the occasion."

He turned around and Roxas reached to fasten the toga to his body. 

"There, now we both look presentable." Roxas smiled.

 

After sharing a loaf of bread to end their morning hunger, the two traveled to the villa of Lord Xaldin by litter.

Axel had never enjoyed traveling this way, as he disliked the rocking feeling as the slaves carried them down the road. He also felt a bit guilty since he had somewhat avoided the harsher life of a slave by becoming Roxas's lover. 

The two arrived a few hours after daybreak, and Roxas knocked apprehensively on the door. To their surprise, Saïx opened it up.

He glared at Axel as he let them in. Axel stopped and Saïx closed the door as Roxas continued down the hall to speak to Lord Xaldin.

"What is it?" Saïx asked coldly.

"I have come to speak to you." Axel stated.

"I haven't the permission from my master," Saïx replied.

"Would you care to ask him?" Axel retorted a bit impatiently.

"What makes you think I want to speak to you at all?" Saïx snapped.

"To mend the broken bridge between us." Axel answered.

At this, Saïx wavered. Then, defeated, he followed Axel and Roxas down the hall to speak to Lord Xaldin.

Lord Xaldin sat in the atrium of his villa, watching the rainwater from the previous night's storm trickle down the center of the atrium and splash into the collection pool below. 

"Good day, Lord Xaldin; it is I, Roxas." Roxas bowed to him.

Lord Xaldin stood, approaching Roxas. "Good day to you, I suppose. I haven't seen you since my daughter's death."

"I understand, in fact I came here to speak to you about the reason you haven't seen me since then." Roxas inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. He reopened them and began, "You see, I cared for your daughter very much, but there was another who had stolen my heart. My slave, Axel, we shared a bond that I found to be unbreakable; I found it so unbreakable that I foolishly tossed my duties as Xion's betrothed aside to run away with him. 

"Before that, I believe I instilled a sense of false hope inside Xion that we would both be happy together eventually. She so desperately wanted to fall in love naturally, and I blame myself for her not being able to experience that. I am truly sorry for my incompetence; if there is a way I can reconcile with you, then I would be more than willing to do so." 

Lord Xaldin drank in his words, mulling over them. "First of all, it _was_ extremely childish of you to ignore the destiny we had set out for you and Xion; however, I understand that you were still a child when we had mapped out your futures. Though it is not uncommon in our society, perhaps we should have considered it a bit more thoroughly. Still, what's done is done, but please do not blame yourself for my daughter's passing."

"I wish to pay my respects to her today, as well." Roxas added.

"You may visit her grave," Lord Xaldin agreed. "But after that, we must discuss ways to compensate for the financial damage your actions caused."

"Of course," Roxas agreed.

"But for now, if that is all, then you may be excused to visit the grave." Lord Xaldin finished.

 Roxas glanced at Saïx and remembered, "Oh, and if you'll allow him, Axel would like to speak to Saïx to mend the broken friendship between them."

Lord Xaldin's gaze switched to Saïx, who did not meet the gaze. "Very well, he may speak to Axel."

Roxas nodded in thanks, then headed toward the garden where his betrothed was buried.

 

Xion's grave, or more accurately, mausoleum,  stood in a light-bathed grove adorned with fresh climbing flowers creeping up the pillars. Inside, hanging on the wall above where Xion lay, was a death mask of Xion's peaceful face. 

The two knelt down to the grave, but only Roxas spoke, "Xion, if you are listening, I am truly sorry I abandoned you; I should never have given you false hope. You were the most beautiful girl I knew, and I wish you could have fallen in love with someone who loved you and your company as much as I did, and more. You would have made a terrific wife for someone...

"But, enough with what could have been. You deserve happiness, and I am sorry that I did not give it to you. I hope that you are at peace now, and that maybe the gods have granted your wish in the afterlife.  I hope that you still have your fighting spirit in you, and that your heart and soul remain alive. Xion, I will always remember you." 

A soft breeze blew through the grove, and some petals from the flowers were carried away and littered among Axel and Roxas. 

"I think she heard us." Axel smiled.

Roxas stood, wiping a tear away from his eye. "Yes, I think so, too."

 

They returned to the house where Saïx waited for Axel. 

"I should go speak to Lord Xaldin about what I can do to repay the debt I have to him." Roxas decided. "Good luck."

Now Axel and Saïx remained in the hall, surrounded by silence.

Axel cleared his throat. "Saïx, I am terribly sorry for all the trouble I caused. Please forgive me for everything, from the scars you earned trying to find me, to the love I did not return to you when you found me at last. You meant everything to me, and you will always mean something."

 Saïx's lips remained tightly shut as he soaked up Axel's apology. "Then...forgive me for the bitterness in my heart. I suppose I should never have acted so coldly to my only friend. Truthfully, I was just as scared as you; I believed you had abandoned me, and that belief only grew until it felt more like the truth. If I were really your friend, I wouldn't have doubted you so easily."

"I forgive you; besides, we are only human. Now, are we friends again?" Axel held out his hand, and Saïx clasped it tightly in agreement.

"What do you plan to do now that it almost seems you are free?" Saïx asked.

"I don't quite know, but I'm sure it'll be an adventure." Axel smiled.

Roxas returned to the hall, ready to leave. 

"So what have you and Lord Xaldin decided?" Axel wondered.

"I have decided to become business partners with him," Roxas replied, "since his wealth is draining, I will be his personal merchant and half my earnings will go to him."

"I see; then I shall be a merchant as well, so my earnings can go toward our life together." Axel decided. "When do we start?"

"After the _Nemoralia_ ," Roxas answered, "when I turn nineteen, and you turn twenty years old."

"Perhaps we'll both become adults by then," Axel teased.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> \- Errare Humanum Est - To err is human


	29. Si Vis Amari Ama

"You really think I should do this?" Ventus asked, turning to lock eyes with his brother.

"Yes, I really think this will help." Roxas assured.

Ventus shifted uncomfortably. "What if he doesn't want to be friends with me after this?"

"Then he was never a friend to begin with." Roxas stated. "I know I've had difficulty putting up with him, but I really think you should do this."

Ventus glanced at Axel, which surprised him. Was Ventus asking for Axel's opinion? Axel nodded in approval.

Ventus inhaled deeply and knocked on the door. A servant opened up, finding the three young men on the steps.

They entered the villa, and Axel noticed Ventus's knees shaking a little.

He had half a mind to tease him, but he knew better. After all, Ventus had lost so much, and this could be the one thing he could earn back.

"Is Vanitas home?" Ventus asked the servant.

"Yes, he is outside training." The servant briskly hurried ahead of them to lead them out to the backyard.

The servant pushed the doors open, and Ventus swallowed as he gazed upon Vanitas fighting another servant.

Vanitas arced his sword and the servant stumbled back, falling into the grass.

"You put up quite a fight," Vanitas smirked, "still, it was not enough to beat me, as it never will be."

The servant whom had led the party to the yard rushed to Vanitas, alerting him of his guests.

Vanitas turned to look at his guests, ascending the steps to meet them. On the outside, Ventus attempted to remain as casual as he usually appeared around Vanitas, but Axel could see Ventus shrinking into himself.

Vanitas seemed to notice, too, and said, "What's wrong, Ven? Have you become as meek as your brother?"

"Not in a million years," Ventus replied. He glanced at Roxas, who did not seem offended, and he nodded for him to continue.

"I came to speak with you--privately." Ventus stated.

"What, have you come to confess your love to me?" Vanitas teased.

Axel and Roxas drew in sharp breaths, and Ventus's face reddened.

"Uhh...why don't you show me that sword technique?" Ventus said quickly.

Vanitas slowly caught on to Ventus's true reason for arriving. "It seems to me you'd rather have me teach you a _different_ kind of sword technique..." He smirked.

Axel snickered, and Roxas nudged him lightly with his elbow.

"You have to admit that was a pretty good joke," Axel said.

Ventus turned redder and tugged on Vanitas's robes, leading him down the steps so they could continue speaking.

"I suppose we should leave them be," Roxas said to Axel. "Shall we return home?"

"Let's take the long road on our return," Axel decided.

The two turned their backs, hoping happiness would find a way to reach Ventus.

 

Axel kicked away rocks as they wandered down the winding path through the hills.

"It's funny how much my life has changed so much in the span of a year," Axel mused.

"As with mine," Roxas agreed.

"Roxas, when was the first time you laid eyes on me?" Axel wondered.

Roxas thought for a moment, pouting his lips. "It was a very long time ago, when you were battling in the arena. We had gotten particularly good seats that time, if you call seats closer to the gore 'good'. I admired everything about you: the fire in your eyes, your clever tactics...it really started out as admiration for your skills as a gladiator."

"How did you convince your father to buy me?"

"It wasn't easy," Roxas admitted, "he kept asking why I wouldn't settle for a normal slave, to which I really had no answer. Truthfully, I wanted you to teach me how to fight since my father only taught me intellectual skills, but he would never have purchased you if he had known the real reason. I think I convinced him that gladiators would be the healthiest slaves since they're so active, and that they would probably not be diseased so easily."

"Interesting," Axel said amusedly.

"I'm glad he gave in." Roxas slipped his hand into Axel's.

"I agree." Axel squeezed Roxas's hand and pulled him into the grass to lie down.

The two nestled into the grass, staring up at the endless sky.

"I wonder what kinds of things we'll see as Lord Xaldin's merchants." Roxas said.

"Maybe we'll trade with Gaul someday, and I will be allowed to see my homeland again." Axel suggested.

Roxas suddenly sat up on his knees, and Axel propped himself up.

"Axel, I realized I haven't really freed you yet." Roxas remembered.

"Oh, it's not a problem; I've considered myself free ever since you technically bought me from Lexaeus." Axel replied dismissively.

"But I have to free you legally in front of another witness." Roxas insisted. "When we get home, remind me to ask my father to be my witness."

Axel smiled, but his smile quickly faded. "Will people know I'm free? I still have these awful tattoos, so people might think I'm a runaway slave..." His fingertips brushed his cheek.

"You'll be well-dressed by then and people will be able to tell the difference." Roxas stroked Axel's cheek.

Axel placed his hands on Roxas's cheeks and brought their faces together in a passionate kiss.

Roxas returned to lying in the grass, and Axel's hands slid over Roxas's body. They traced his smooth skin under his toga, feeling his warmth.

Their lips broke apart and they gazed into each other's eyes.

"You've brought so much light into my life," Axel murmured, "thank you so much."

Roxas blushed. "You're welcome."

Axel pressed his forehead to Roxas's forehead. Roxas scrunched his face up, the blush spreading across his cheeks. In return, Axel turned the color of the sky when Sol disappeared under the horizon.

 

"Under the witness of my father, Ansem the Wise, I hereby declare you, Axel, a freed slave for eternity." Roxas announced.

A weight seemed to lift off Axel's shoulders as he tasted freedom for the first time in his life. Born a slave, he never thought he'd see the day he'd leave his chains behind. He nearly felt the wings sprouting on his back, the wings Roxas had promised him. 

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice escaping him.

"You're welcome." Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel.

"It's getting late, and Ventus has been away for a while..." Ansem noticed.

Roxas and Axel exchanged secret-holding glances, and Roxas giggled.

"What?" Ansem wondered.

"It's nothing," Roxas dismissed.

"Ventus is--making up for everything he lost." Axel suggested. "I wouldn't expect him to return home tonight."

Roxas snickered immaturely, and Axel nudged him.

 

Just as they had expected, Ventus did not return until very late the next day. 

"How did things go with Vanitas?" Roxas asked.

"I don't think you want to know the _exact_ details..." Ventus said, suggesting certain activities had taken place.

"Just as we had hoped," Axel replied bluntly. 

"You were expecting it?!" Ventus shrieked. 

"Well, we hoped things would go smoothly with Vanitas," Roxas clarified.

"And by the sound of it, things went _very_ smoothly," Axel teased, "perhaps even a bit roughly...say Ventus, what's that peculiar purple mark on your skin?"

Ventus blushed in fury and tugged his toga over the mark. "None of your concern, slave."

"Oh, I suppose you wouldn't have known, but I'm a free man as of yesterday. So I can speak to you any way I like." Axel grinned, flicking Ventus's forehead.

"Tch." Ventus looked askance, the blush still dispersing over his cheeks. 

"What's important is that you've grown to learn how to love." Roxas stated.

"I suppose..." Ventus mumbled.

"And once you learn how to love, then you will be loved in return." Roxas looked up at Axel, who smiled down at him and tousled his golden spikes.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> \- Si vis amari ama - If you want to be loved, love


	30. Manus In Manu

The rosy Aurora touched Axel and Roxas's sleeping forms softly as she heralded Sol's arrival, and the beginning of a new day.

Axel's heavy eyelids opened to find Roxas gazing at him and stroking Axel's choppy red spikes. "Good morning, Axel."

"Good morning," Axel yawned. "What day is it today?"

"Today is the the first day of the _Nemoralia_ , meaning it's our birthday today." Roxas replied. "I'm nineteen years old today, and you're twenty."

"Oh, is it?" Axel sat up a bit. "Now that I'm free, I can use my _solidus_ to buy you a gift."

"Why would I need one; I'm lying next to one." Roxas chuckled.

"How poetic," Axel murmured seductively, drawing in closer and kissing behind Roxas's ear. "So, shall I give you myself as your birthday gift?"

"I would like that very much," Roxas agreed, wrapping his arms around Axel.

Axel shifted underneath him and his hands plunged into Roxas's thick spiky hair. He pulled him in for a kiss, savoring the taste of Roxas's lips. 

Roxas's hand trailed down Axel's bare chest, brushing over Axel's nipple. Axel's thick muscles contracted a bit from his touch, and pleasure sparked inside him.

Roxas planted his lips in a trail from Axel's lips down to his neck, continuing until he pressed his lips to Axel's perked nipple. He flicked his tongue gently across it, and Axel gripped onto Roxas's bare back. Pleasure writhed in Axel's core as Roxas licked his skin, swirling his tongue around the nipple while gently pinching the other.

Axel squirmed, his _multinium_ growing stiff. His desire for Roxas's touch grew desperate, and Axel rubbed himself against Roxas's leg.

"Anxious, are you?" Roxas chuckled softly, his voice low.

"It's been so long since we've done this in a real bed; I want the moment to last, but I want you so badly..." Axel admitted.

Blush spread like wildfire across Roxas's cheeks. "I see...then I shall waste no time."

Roxas picked at the knots in Axel's loincloth until they fell away, and he tore the cloth out from underneath him. He wrapped his hand around Axel's length, slowly pumping him. 

During the months he had spent training, Roxas's hands had grown as calloused as Axel's. The rough skin on his hands chafed against Axel's sensitive flesh, making his actions a bit painful. As he continued and Axel's length grew slick, the pain lessened.

Axel tilted his head up, furrowing his brows as the pleasure rolled through him. His mouth hung open, letting out unrestrained moans. _"Ahh...ahhn..."_

Roxas pressed his lips to Axel's neck again, sucking on the skin to leave purple marks behind. Axel clenched his fists, squeezing Roxas in his arms as he came closer to finishing. Roxas sensed this, and he released Axel's length from his hand. Axel let out a shuddering sigh as the pressure built up inside him vanished slowly.

Roxas reached over the side of the bed, blindly searching for the tiny perfume bottle of olive oil. He felt the handle of the amphora-shaped bottle between his fingers, and he retrieved it slowly so none would spill.

He poured a puddle of oil into the palm of his hand, clenching his fist and coating his fingers with it. 

Axel eagerly spread his legs and angled himself so Roxas would have better access. With the other hand resting on Axel's shin, Roxas plunged his first finger into Axel's entrance. 

 _"Nghh!"_ Axel clenched his teeth and threw his head back. Roxas's finger squirmed inside, pressing against Axel's sweet spot.

Roxas leaned forward, kissing Axel deeply. He slipped his tongue into Axel's mouth, and their tongues collided. He added a bit more oil to his hand, and joined another finger inside Axel.

Axel's fist clasped the sheets, his knuckles turning white. Roxas's tongue explored his mouth, restraining Axel's voice from being heard. Axel moaned heavily into Roxas's mouth, his hot and frantic breathing hissing as it came out.

Roxas added more oil to his third finger and slipped it inside. Axel groaned into Roxas's mouth sharply. 

Roxas's motions seemed a bit too unsatisfying for Axel, and he bucked his hips to meet Roxas's fingers. Their lips pulled away from each other again, letting Axel's voice free again.

_"Ungh...ngh...more..."_

Roxas blushed rampantly, his face burning. He thrusted his fingers deeper into him, but only for a moment before sliding out with a squelching noise.

Axel reached over for the oil, pouring some into his hand. He wrapped his slippery hand around Roxas's developing erection, spreading the oil around it. 

Roxas bared his teeth, scrunching his face. His _multinium_ perked until it stood fully erect, aching for Axel's core. He scooted closer, and Axel spread his legs wider. Gripping Axel's muscular thigh, Roxas slowly squeezed himself inside.

Axel gasped at the thickness sliding into him, and his fingers spread across Roxas's back. Along with his calloused hands, Roxas had also grown quite muscular during training. Axel ran his fingers along each protruding muscle.

Roxas's hips touched Axel's ass, and he let out a sigh. Axel ran his hand over the side of Roxas's face reassuringly. Roxas pulled himself back a bit, then thrusted himself into Axel.

"Keep going..." Axel pleaded softly.

Roxas nodded, continuously thrusting in rhythm. Axel closed his eyes and his head lolled with each thrust. 

Roxas's neck craned to kiss him, and Axel's arms coiled around Roxas.

The pleasure in Axel's core built with each thrust, and his breathing labored. Roxas's hand searched for Axel's, finding it and lacing their fingers together.

 _"Ahh...I'm so close...ngh..."_ Roxas whispered, his face so close to Axel's that he could feel Axel's panting breaths.

 _"Me too...hah..."_ Axel whispered in response, hissing slightly as one particularly strong thrust sent shivers throughout his body.

The bed creaked as Roxas's thrusts became shallower but quicker, and Axel found his voice rising in pitch.

 _"Ahh...Axel! Nghh!"_ Roxas groaned, slamming himself into Axel one last time. 

 _"Roxas...ahhh!"_ Axel threw his head back again, releasing the pent-up pleasure inside. 

Roxas clenched Axel's thigh as he rode out his climax, releasing inside Axel. Axel squirmed, still not quite used to the warm slickness dripping out of him. 

Roxas slid himself out, his breaths shuddering as he trembled. Axel's chest heaved, and he felt like collapsing back into bed for the rest of the day.

"I love you," Roxas sighed.

"I love you, too." Axel replied. 

Briefly, Roxas's lips met Axel's again. "Come on, we need to get ready for the festival."

"Alright...I hope you enjoyed your gift." Axel chuckled.

"Oh, of course I did." Roxas grinned. 

 

As the two strolled through the streets of the city, Axel now understood what Roxas had meant when he assured him people would recognize Axel as a free citizen. Even during the holiday when he could've been a well-dressed slave, he seemed to exhibit a kind of air that reminded people of his new status.

They followed the procession down to the lake for the festivities, joining with General Eraqus's party on the way.

Axel and Roxas waved to Vanitas in his litter, but he disregarded them and stuck his eyes upon Ventus. Ventus stuck his tongue out playfully, and Vanitas shot him a smirk in return.

The parties arrived at Lake Nemi as Sol just parked atop the apex of the sky. They presented their offerings to Diana, then joined the others in the festivities.

Axel immediately approached the table laden with the _Nemoralia_ feast, his stomach having been empty ever since the morning. He hadn't realized how much energy copulating had taken out of him; he had nearly fallen back asleep afterward.

Roxas stood by as Axel picked out a leg of roast chicken to chew on. He handed Roxas the other leg, along with a goblet of wine. Axel took up another goblet and raised it. 

"To life, love, and everything else." Axel toasted.

Roxas nodded, clinking his goblet to Axel's. 

 

Sol soon disappeared underneath the horizon, and soon the forest glowed with the soft light of the lanterns.

"Axel, let's take a boat out to the middle of the lake." Roxas decided, tugging on Axel's sleeve. 

"Alright, alright," Axel chuckled, following.

A small wooden rowboat rested on the shore, and Axel pushed it out into the calm lake with Roxas inside. The rowboat floated into the open water, and Axel jumped inside. Each took an oar and paddled out to the center of the lake. 

In the middle of the black waters, the two lit their lanterns and lay them on the surface. Around them, the other lanterns drifted and bounced against the side of their boat.

Roxas reached over and grabbed Axel's hands. "I'm so glad I could share my life with you."

"Me too," Axel agreed.

Roxas leaned in, tilting his head, and Axel met him halfway for a kiss.

The warmth Axel feared he would never know had come to him in a far better way than he had expected. He silently vowed he would love Roxas forever, even if Roxas departed this world before Axel. He decided, in Axel's memory, Roxas would be able to live forever.

The two broke apart, their cheeks flushed. 

"What do you think our lives will be like now that everything has changed?" Axel wondered.

"Every day will be an adventure, I'm sure." Roxas answered, "But we will be able to overcome anything with each other."

"I fear nothing once again, thanks to you," Axel said, "the emptiness I had once felt has been filled up with your love."

Roxas looked away shyly. "You've become so eloquent, it's quite flattering..."

Axel chuckled lightly. "I learned from the very best."

"You're quite a charmer now, aren't you?" Roxas pushed Axel playfully.

"I like to think I've always been, but if you insist." Axel teased, pushing Roxas in return.

Roxas pushed Axel's shoulders harder, and Axel fell back a bit. The boat rocked, threatening to tip.

They froze, not wanting to capsize. When the boat settled into the waves again, Roxas pounced on Axel and pressed against him.

Axel laughed loudly, wrapping his arms around Roxas tightly.

The lanterns around them gave the impression that they floated off into a dream while floating upon the inky lake.

 

The rest of the _Nemoralia_ passed almost uneventfully. On the last day, the household joined General Eraqus for a feast to which Ventus and Vanitas hardly attended to join the other in Vanitas's chamber. Once again, Ventus did not return until the next day.

A few days after the _Nemoralia_ , Roxas met with Lord Xaldin to discuss Roxas's new duties as Lord Xaldin's merchant. Lord Xaldin provided Roxas with a small vessel and crew, along with his first stocked inventory.  In only a matter of time, Roxas would sail west to trade there.

"Are you nervous?" Axel wondered as they strolled through the marketplace.

"A bit," Roxas admitted, "I've never been very far from this area, and now I'm going alone..."

"Have you forgotten something?" Axel asked. 

"What?" Roxas inquired.

"You won't be alone, because I'm going with you." Axel replied.

"I can't ask that of you." Roxas shook his head.

"Nonsense, I _want_ to go with you. Besides, what other jobs would I be able to have? At least with this, you're with me. You won't be lonely, and if I have trouble reading, you're here to read something." Axel insisted.

"Thank you so much..." Roxas sighed.

"Of course. Now, I still have that _solidus_ you gave me; I think I should spend it on a little treat for the two of us." Axel decided, striding over to a man selling fresh watermelons. He slapped the coin on the table, which the man exchanged for a few other coins and a large watermelon. 

Axel turned, holding it proudly to Roxas.

"Your first purchase is a watermelon?" Roxas asked.

"What, you do not approve of it? You have no reign over me anymore." Axel joked.

"I know, I know," Roxas laughed, "I'm just a bit surprised."

"I'm hungry." Axel shrugged. "Uh...I just realized I don't have anything to cut this with."

"We'll go hit it against a sharp rock or something down by the pond." Roxas decided, leading him through the woods to the pond where they shared their first sober kiss.

Axel pulled a large stone from the shore, and slammed the watermelon against it. The watermelon cracked, and they pulled it apart to reveal the red flesh inside.

Roxas held his half like a large bowl and scooped out the flesh with his hand.

"Is it good?" Axel asked.

"Yes, it's delicious; I take back what I said about a watermelon being a bad purchase." Roxas replied.

Axel snickered. "I hope so."

The two ate in silence for a while, until Roxas said, "I never really thought about how big our world really is until now."

"Neither have I," Axel agreed, spitting out a few seeds.

"Like I said before, I'm not afraid of what's out there as long as you're next to me." Roxas smiled.

"Neither am I." 

 

At last, the time came for Axel and Roxas to depart their city. 

Before even Aurora had risen, the two joined their crew aboard their vessel. Axel took inventory hesitantly, with Roxas by his side to help him with the numbers.

Roxas finished the preparations to leave, and joined his family on the pier. 

"Good luck, my son," Ansem said, "you will be a fine merchant, and a knowledgeable traveler."

"Thank you, Father." Roxas nodded. "You have taught me well, and I intend to use my knowledge for a good use."

Roxas turned to Naminé, who embraced her brother. "Goodbye, Roxas; you have been a great brother to me."

"Goodbye Naminé, please take care of yourself." Roxas replied.

Finally he turned to Ventus, who also embraced his brother tightly. "I'm sorry for all the years I was so terrible to you," Ventus said.

"You do not have to apologize, but I forgive you." Roxas assured. "You will be a fine master of the house."

Axel smiled at them a bit shyly behind Roxas, and Ansem looked to him. "You are a fine man, Axel. Please, take care of yourself and my son."

"I shall," Axel agreed.

Naminé hugged Axel quickly, and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Farewell, Axel."

Axel glanced at Ventus, and Ventus held out his hand hesitantly. Axel shook it firmly. "Take good care, Ventus."

"You too..." Ventus agreed. 

A whistle shrieked from inside the vessel, calling Roxas and Axel to their positions. They dashed up the ramp into the vessel as the last few ties docking them to the pier fell away.

The two waved as their vessel departed, pushing off into the open ocean.

Axel stood at the forecastle deck, staring out into the openness.

Roxas joined him, slipping his hand into Axel's. 

"So, this is the beginning of our new journey?" Roxas asked.

"It is." Axel nodded, meeting eyes with him. 

He squeezed Roxas's hand as the first rays of Sol's light touched upon them, and their vessel sailed into a new beginning. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> \- Manus in manu - Hand in hand  
> \- Ab aeterno - From the everlasting
> 
>  
> 
> AN: Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this fic! I plan to write a few more Kingdom Hearts fics, including a Sora/Riku fic, a Terra/Ventus fic, and maybe a Reader X Organization 13 (Yes, all of them; the protagonist will be gender-neutral) fic. If you liked this fic, there is a possibility I will write a sequel about Ventus in this universe. Again, thank you for all of your support!


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